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poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 12:14 p.m.

In the past, we've stayed pretty quiet about what we're building for the Challenge, but as I'm a lazy so-and-so, and always forget to put together a build thread after the big dance, here she goes - The $2009(?) Rusteevuh:

Making the journey back from the $2008 Challenge, sleep deprived and livers soaked in whiskey, we decided against bringing something "pretty" in 2009. All the cleaning and anal-izing on the soupRturd damn near killed us both, and "clean and pretty" really isn't our M.O. Anway, "Plan A" was the "Donk-ey Hong." Wayne had an 80 - something $100 carb'd civic in the yard collecting rust. Picture semi-truck wheels, the outside of the car covered in brown, monkey-esque fur, home-made hydraulics to "make it hop, y0," and a big molded baboon ass that shoots flames.

I honestly can't remember why we scrapped this plan, as it sounds way cool now, and would've been perfect for the "caveman class," but c'est la vie.

Having an unhealthy obses...er...affinity for the Haas crew's '49, we started talking "rat-rod." This would, in theory, keep us from having to go too nuts getting the car all cleaned up and pretty for the concours. And hell, flat black is apparently the way to go if you want to win the concours, right? (I joke, I keeeed.)

Sticking with our philosophy of "use whatever's, cheap, light, and already in our possession" when selecting a platform, Wayne mentioned he had a Festiva that he had picked up for our buddy Kevin Boswell a couple years back. At less than 2000 lbs., and with a $100 purchase price (the 'old price') from the towing yard across the street from Wayne's place, it was a no-brainer.

We immediately called Kevin (who was towing his Challenge Tracer in front of us,) as he's familiar with all the Ford/Mazda recipes. Upon learning that a 1.8L BP motor would "fit," and with Kevin's new-found ability to make his own turbo manifolds, not to mention put together a Megasquirt, we had a plan.

As usual, we had a few months of "down time" after the Challenge, but Wayne kept busy scouring insurance auctions for a BP-powered somethingeruther. He eventually found a 93(?) Escort GT, running, complete with a key! A couple more months had passed when I received a phone call...at 10PM...on a Wednesday:

W: "Hey, I'm comin' over." (Wayne lives an hour and a half away.)

Me: "Um...okay? What's the occasion?"

W: "Boss is in town. Told me to clean all my sh*t out of the yard. I'm bringing you an Escort."

Me: "Oh. Um. Where are you?"

W: "I'm pulling into your neighborhood. Hey! I've got even better news! I'm bringing you a Festiva this weekend!"

Much to my wife's chagrine, we were now the proud owners of yet another pile of E36 M3 that takes up space in the driveway.

From "the morning after:"

Thus, it was "on." We rallied the troops (Tommy & Kevin) for "hong day." Work commenced quickly on Saturday. As to loosely adhere to the "One in, one out" rule to keep mamma happy, I wanted everything we needed off the car before Wayne arrived with the Festiva, so that I could send him home with a pile of Escort.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 12:15 p.m.

"DAY 1:"

Hong Norrth! Activate!

It's a girl!!!

Front and rear subframe/suspension components were retained for possible use in the swap. Anything Escort bits of potential value were kept as well. Anybody need some sweet Escort GT E36 M3?:

Not much thought was put into how to load the car onto the trailer with no front wheels and suspension. Fortunately everything went really smoothly. Just kidding. It sucked. It literally took us longer to get this hunk of E36 M3 on the trailer than it did to strip it of everything we needed.

Hongfail:

^^^This was after the hoist tipped over and sent the front of the car crashing to the ground. We regrouped and FINALLY got her on the trailer, where we "attacked the rear." Don't try this at home, kids:

After a brief Waffle House break, we rolled the Festiva down the driveway. I'm amazed out how decent the car looked. I honestly hated to tear out the interior:

Ever the motivated one, Kevin suggests working into the wee hours of the morning. He and Wayne worked on getting the engine ready to pull. I worked on weight removal.

...and thus endeth Hong Norrth's most successful 1st build day evar. More to come, my hands are tired (that's what she said.)

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair SuperDork
8/15/09 12:36 p.m.

kevin's looking a little shell-shocked, and wayne's moobs are looking d-cup-licious.

need some company next weekend? i'm going to the carolina speedway for some local dirt roundy-round on friday night, then have saturday and sunday free AFAIK.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 1:14 p.m.

"DAY 2:"

Again, Kevin, the great motivator, donates his time the following day (Sunday,) to yank the motor. I continued doing what I like doing best; destroying stuff:

Pneumatic nibbler. Favorite_tool_evar.

Uh-foe:

Derrin:

Aff-uh:

Get this thing outta me:

No, seriously:

Obligatory "poseur making sparks" shot:

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 1:16 p.m.
AngryCorvair wrote: kevin's looking a little shell-shocked, and wayne's moobs are looking d-cup-licious. need some company next weekend? i'm going to the carolina speedway for some local dirt roundy-round on friday night, then have saturday and sunday free AFAIK.

Kevin needs to eat more. I'll tell wayne you're moved by his man-mammaries. Wish you were in town tonight. Burgers & dogs & booze & such. But yeah, hit a cracker up about next weekend. You're welcome to crash.

DILYSI Dave
DILYSI Dave SuperDork
8/15/09 1:17 p.m.

FYI - The best way to load a suspension less car on a trailer is with a forklift. Obviously not an option at home. Still, better to lower the car onto a trailer than lift it on. 4 ratchet straps to ceiling joists to lift the car, drive the trailer under it, and lower it down.

Appleseed
Appleseed HalfDork
8/15/09 2:11 p.m.

Natty Ice for the win!

MrJoshua
MrJoshua SuperDork
8/15/09 2:17 p.m.

I like build threads.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 3:55 p.m.
4 ratchet straps to ceiling joists to lift the car, drive the trailer under it, and lower it down.

Where are you when I need you? Great idea. I'll try & remember that one.

DirtyBird222
DirtyBird222 Dork
8/15/09 4:49 p.m.

you guys could all totally be on the next cover of GQ

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
8/15/09 4:57 p.m.

Big is beautiful.

Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
8/15/09 5:36 p.m.

Now THAT is serious accomplishment for Day 1!

Y'all got to fatten Kevin up so he'll match.

dean1484
dean1484 Dork
8/15/09 5:48 p.m.

Straps and hoists are so yesterday. Back up trailer to car(front rear it does not matter. Take come along or better yet if you have an electric winch use that. Take the cable and run it over the roof of the car to the furthest point away that is a structural member and the higher up on the body the better. with some strategic help winch the car up and over flipping it in the trailer on its roof. I have done this several times. Gets some really funny looks driving to the scrap yard.

Problems are.

  1. Be careful not to damage trailer lights
  2. Be careful not to damage trailer fender
  3. Be careful not to damage you. There is a point during the flip that this get really .. . . Interesting.
2002maniac
2002maniac Reader
8/15/09 6:26 p.m.

Looks promising. I've always thought festivas were cool.

Billy_Bottle_Caps
Billy_Bottle_Caps New Reader
8/15/09 7:04 p.m.

In reply to 2002maniac:

Very nice progress for a couple days... Car got a name yet?

BBC

Appleseed
Appleseed HalfDork
8/15/09 11:27 p.m.

I'd go for "FestEvil."

kcbhiw
kcbhiw Reader
8/16/09 2:20 a.m.
AngryCorvair wrote: wayne's moobs are looking d-cup-licious.

lmao

Jensenman wrote: Y'all got to fatten Kevin up so he'll match.

That Natty Light crap will catch up to my gut one of these days if we continue these Hong builds.

16vCorey
16vCorey SuperDork
8/16/09 11:07 a.m.
kcbhiw wrote:
AngryCorvair wrote: wayne's moobs are looking d-cup-licious.

lmao

Jensenman wrote: Y'all got to fatten Kevin up so he'll match.

That Natty Light crap will catch up to my gut one of these days if we continue these Hong builds.

I doubt it. The fact that it's a "light" beer, coupled with the fact that it's almost sure to give you diarrhea, means that you might even be losing weight during Hong builds. But don't bet on that either, it hasn't worked for the rest of the Hongs. The car is looking good fellas!

CarKid1989
CarKid1989 Reader
8/16/09 11:45 a.m.

can you keep a full detaled swap guide? this swap is on my to do list

Karl La Follette
Karl La Follette Reader
8/16/09 1:06 p.m.

nice thread , we just missed a running mazda 626 coupe turbo for $65 kids mother bough tit from under us .

Rob_Mopar
Rob_Mopar New Reader
8/16/09 4:42 p.m.

For loading up a suspensionless shell on a trailer how about putting several pieces of 3 or 4" diameter schedule 40 (or 80 if available cheap and local) between the shell and trailer floor? Use the pipe as rollers. Make the pipes wider than the car but narrow enough to fit easily between the trailer fenders.

As one pipe rolls out the back carry it back up front until the shell is where you want it on the trailer. Jack the shell up to remove the pipes, lower and haul away. Not as exciting as flipping a car over with the winch but less chance of getting squashed.

-Rob

Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
8/16/09 4:45 p.m.
Karl La Follette wrote: nice thread , we just missed a running mazda 626 coupe turbo for $65 kids mother bough tit from under us .

The kid's mother bought just one tit? Reckon she walks lopsided?

Y'all should have been around when George Walton, ignorant and I were loading up RX7 detritus. THAT was a laugh a minute.

16vCorey
16vCorey SuperDork
8/16/09 4:53 p.m.
Jensenman wrote:
Karl La Follette wrote: nice thread , we just missed a running mazda 626 coupe turbo for $65 kids mother bough tit from under us .

The kid's mother bought just one tit? Reckon she walks lopsided?

Y'all should have been around when George Walton, ignorant and I were loading up RX7 detritus. THAT was a laugh a minute.

maroon92 needs to post pics of when he came down to pic up the TR7. We loaded the complete shell on the back of a flat bed pick up truck with an engine hoist. It was ridiculous.

Appleseed
Appleseed HalfDork
8/16/09 8:01 p.m.
CarKid1989 wrote: can you keep a full detaled swap guide? this swap is on my to do list

Not the cheapest way, but CWS Tuning has every thing you need. Long Saskatchewan winters breed awesome. http://www.cwstuning.com/

wheels777
wheels777 HalfDork
8/17/09 7:59 p.m.

So...ahhh...what's George going to do? York isn't that far away.....

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