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JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
11/26/19 1:35 p.m.
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Thanksgiving is a time for families to join for a meal and argue about the most divisive topics imaginable until someone flips over the table, covering Nana in Aunt Jeannie’s sweet potato casserole, which Nana never liked anyway since Jeannie left her behind at Southcoast Plaza that one time “on accident.”

Anyway, to avoid all those awkward conversations about politics, religion, or why Kelly got one of those slutty “goth” haircuts (does she like girls now?) Here’s a quick list of surefire dinnertime conversation starters for your gearhead—or non-gearhead—friends and family. 

1. Will the new electric Mustang be able to kill more cars & coffee spectators with an extension cord clothesline maneuver or with its massive electric torque curve?

2. Mom, Dad, it’s time you accept me for who I am and that I drive a Miata.

3. Ford vs. Ferrari: Which is most appropriate for an LS swap?

4. No one else around the table knows any better, so go ahead and refer to autocrossing as “racing.”

5. Civic Type R vs. Tesla Cybertruck: Which can you rag on the hardest while secretly loving?

6. How you “won” your last track day.

7. “Shut up Larry. It’s called a ‘project’ car because it’s not supposed to drive. Then they’d call it a ‘driving’ car. I’ll finish it someday. You’re adopted.”

8. Actually, BMWs are 100% reliable, provided you fix everything that breaks.

9. Long whiteboard discussion involving segment times, other drivers you once beat, weather conditions, tire durometer readings, quantum mechanics of friction, objects of impossible geometry, a prophecy involving stealing several skulls from a local cemetery, Gary Cherone-era Van Halen, The Harlem Globetrotters, HAARP, and the episode of Scooby Doo featuring Jonathan Winters proving conclusively that you TECHNICALLY won a national championship despite the results showing that you were 17th.

10. It says 200tw on the side, of course it’s a STREET tire.

 

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

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OldGray320i
OldGray320i Dork
11/26/19 1:37 p.m.

Priceless.  Just priceless. 

Lof8 - Andy
Lof8 - Andy Dork
11/26/19 1:38 p.m.

HAHAHAHHA!  Awesome!

_
_ Dork
11/26/19 2:23 p.m.

Telling my mom to accept me for driving a Miata, that's what I will do

pres589 (djronnebaum)
pres589 (djronnebaum) PowerDork
11/26/19 2:29 p.m.

Talk about your favorite finish and era for Porsche phonedials.  Bring photo examples of the wheel over the years it was available.

Keith Tanner
Keith Tanner MegaDork
11/26/19 3:12 p.m.

Yes, bringing visual aids will make it a more interesting conversation for everyone.

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
11/26/19 3:15 p.m.
pres589 (djronnebaum) said:

Talk about your favorite finish and era for Porsche phonedials.  Bring photo examples of the wheel over the years it was available.

But first take like 10 minutes to find them on your phone. "Wait, I was just looking at them a few minutes ago...."

jharry3
jharry3 HalfDork
11/26/19 3:19 p.m.

Last year we had three different of our vehicles need towing.  The first was the MSM Miata and I fortunately found this really good guy with a flatbed that advertises he knows how to safely load sports cars.  

Then two more breakdowns with my truck and then my wife's car.  So I used the same guy each time even though he costs a little more.

So now my wife never fails to bring up at social gatherings that I am the only person she ever knew who  has his own personal tow truck driver and carries the guy's business card in his wallet.  Of course hardly anyone understands what it is to  be a car guy and thinks that its just another of my eccentricities.       

This will come up at Thanksgiving I have no doubt.

Keith Tanner
Keith Tanner MegaDork
11/26/19 3:20 p.m.
David S. Wallens said:
pres589 (djronnebaum) said:

Talk about your favorite finish and era for Porsche phonedials.  Bring photo examples of the wheel over the years it was available.

But first take like 10 minutes to find them on your phone. "Wait, I was just looking at them a few minutes ago...."

I would prefer to see dry mounted 8x10s. I mean, come prepared.

slowbird
slowbird Dork
11/26/19 3:26 p.m.

Make sure you ask everyone in your family at least 3 times if they have any extra space in their garage, as you've just acquired another non-running project car and the yard's already full and by they way do they have any tools you could borrow and hey does that air compressor of theirs still work, because you'd like to come over and get started on it tonight after pie?

Shadeux
Shadeux Reader
11/26/19 3:57 p.m.

"9. Long whiteboard discussion involving segment times, other drivers you once beat, weather conditions, tire durometer readings, quantum mechanics of friction, objects of impossible geometry, a prophecy involving stealing several skulls from a local cemetery, Gary Cherone-era Van Halen, The Harlem Globetrotters, HAARP, and the episode of Scooby Doo featuring Jonathan Winters proving conclusively that you TECHNICALLY won a national championship despite the results showing that you were 17th."

<died>

kazoospec
kazoospec UltraDork
11/26/19 4:37 p.m.

Oh, I don't count on my family accepting that autocross is "racing", I plan to spend the entire meal convincing them.  If they surrender on that one, I'll launch into why a Miata is the ultimate sports car, a capable family hauler and the perfect first car for a young driver. 

We'll only get into why the PAX index is unfair to ES cars if we hit an awkward pause.  

spacecadet
spacecadet Dork
11/26/19 4:45 p.m.

5. Civic Type R vs. Tesla Cybertruck: Which can you rag on the hardest while secretly loving

As someone who loves the hardware under both, but find them both polarizing.. This is my internal struggle.

 

 

RevRico
RevRico PowerDork
11/26/19 4:56 p.m.

Ooo some of these might help cut down the Xmas shopping better than bringing up politics would.

ShawnG
ShawnG PowerDork
11/26/19 6:42 p.m.

Try to explain to my buddy's wife that restoration is NOT "Just like Kount's Kustoms in Las Vegas" FML...

 

Patrick
Patrick MegaDork
11/26/19 7:02 p.m.
jharry3 said:

Last year we had three different of our vehicles need towing.  The first was the MSM Miata and I fortunately found this really good guy with a flatbed that advertises he knows how to safely load sports cars.  

Then two more breakdowns with my truck and then my wife's car.  So I used the same guy each time even though he costs a little more.

So now my wife never fails to bring up at social gatherings that I am the only person she ever knew who  has his own personal tow truck driver and carries the guy's business card in his wallet.  Of course hardly anyone understands what it is to  be a car guy and thinks that its just another of my eccentricities.       

This will come up at Thanksgiving I have no doubt.

I have the tow truck company's t shirt and he gives me Christmas presents 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
11/26/19 7:35 p.m.

Who's the better Jackie, Stewart or Ickx and why? Start early as this debate can go on for a while. 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
11/26/19 7:41 p.m.

This one almost got violent last year, Dale Earnhardt wasn't a better driver than Kyle Busch, his wife just did a better job managing his image. 

Rodan
Rodan Dork
11/26/19 8:07 p.m.

I just hope we don't get rear-ended on the way to Thanksgiving dinner again this year.

Tom1200
Tom1200 Dork
11/26/19 8:20 p.m.

"You trial braked your fork into the gravy and mashed potatoes but you were totally off line in the cranberry sauce AND you used a salad fork for your pie............learn to use the right tools for the job you putz"

My mother still hasn't forgiven me for telling her that but it had to be said. 

Furious_E
Furious_E UltraDork
11/26/19 8:40 p.m.

I'm sure my Thanksgiving will include an explaination of why I still had to borrow dad's truck to get to work while my DD was in for inspection this week, in spite of the fact that I own three cars myself. That will at least segue nicely into the story of how a minor transmission fluid leak on my truck has snowballed into it being half torn apart with plans for an engine swap over the winter. What I'm really looking forward to, though, is the argument with my sister that yes, in fact, she should expect that if she keeps buying $2k cars and not maintaining them they will inevitably continue to break down on her.

buzzboy
buzzboy HalfDork
11/26/19 9:16 p.m.
jharry3 said:

So now my wife never fails to bring up at social gatherings that I am the only person she ever knew who  has his own personal tow truck driver and carries the guy's business card in his wallet.

I loved my old tow truck driver and his wife. They picked a miata tub(kinda) up at 7:00PM on their way to dinner in the rollback.

In my home town my nextdoor neighbor is the only tow truck and strangely also a husband/wife team. They do great work.

pres589 (djronnebaum)
pres589 (djronnebaum) PowerDork
11/26/19 10:07 p.m.

In reply to David S. Wallens :

Like I don't have multiple saved images of phonedials on my phone already.  Pfft.

GCrites80s
GCrites80s Reader
11/26/19 10:49 p.m.

I was just doing a family thing with family members that own a popular autocross venue but don't know much about it. I didn't feel like being the autocross liaison today (I'll leave that up to the SCCA) but it could have come up. I actually haven't run there since it is kinda far from home.

Wally
Wally MegaDork
11/27/19 4:17 a.m.

In reply to buzzboy :

For the first few years I knew my wife I was on call 24/7.  A lot of our dates were in my truck and picking something up on the way to or from wherever we were going.  

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