Want to hear my wife rant? Put those stupid stuffed kids on your car at a show. "WTF are those supposed to be? This isn't a stuffed toy show!" She cracks me up.
Do Not Touch signs are stupid. That's really something that is a given and you shouldn't need a sign to say it, but I guess with the large numbers of stupid parents out there people feel they are necessary. Conversely, I tend to cross out the "not" on the signs they give me when I take the Mini. It's far from a 'show' car and kids especially dig it. You're fine to sit in it until you start blowing the horn, then it's eviction time.
I read something where a guy was tired of people telling him what was wrong/incorrect/sub-par on his vehicle that he restored himself. So he started doing this when someone would point out a flaw: "Give me your credit card." "What?" "Give me your credit card!" "No! Why?" "Because if that bothers you that much that you have to complain about it you can pay to have someone fix it."

