I am a claims adjuster but only work in it as a third party administrator (work for other insurance companies and self insured businesses). I only have practical experience in DC, MD, VA and FL and mostly with liability/third party claims.
I cannot understand how on a first party claim you could ask them to wavie this surcharge (or deductible?). If I understand this your deductible would be a set amount ($1000?) and they want you to pay an additional charge for being at fault($400)? To me that seems a bit odd. If I decided to practice my Ken Block skills in my wifes Forester and hit a rock I would be $500 out of pocket. Same as if I rear ended someone driving while checking out his latest video.

