Not a good time for a new car....

While my wife, son and MIL were traveling about an hour and a half away from our house our explorer died. The tow truck beat me there and was nice enough to drop them off at a nearby store so they were only away from the car for a few minutes. Fast forward to today, and the dealership says that the 1# cylinder had 0 compression, that there was no fluid in the radiator and that there was a cracked egr valve. They recommend a new motor. Obviously a $6k repair for a 12yo ford isn't appealing to me at all. I understand that it could be as simple as a warped head or blown gasket or could very well involve a new engine replacement.

I love cars and love learning about them as much as possible. I never really had exposure growing up and have taught myself, read alot or picked up info from people where I could over the years. But, at the end of the day I'm just an IT guy w/ no free time and little knowledge. And I feel at fault. Since I'm the only income right now, I have been doing all of the maintance that's in my skillset, snd hsve reluctantly farmed out what I thought that I couldn't handle. Yesterday kinda got me alittle. 90miles is 90 miles and I couldn't have gotten there much quicker. I try to stay on top of the repairs but seeing the look of uncertainty on my 2yo son's face made me doubt my future as a diy mechanic. I don't wanna have to go through this again. Car shopping w/ little budget, little time and alot of stress at work means that I'm not a happy camper right now.

Has anyone else ever dealt w/ these feelings? Or am I just over-reacting??

Side note... are the late 90's-early 2k caravans worth spending money on??

Please move this if I posted in the wrong place.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I've tried to make it work with crapcans that I mostly fix myself (mainly because I don't want to go in debt for a car) but I am coming to the realisation that I can't fix them, work full time and have some family time with my wife that doesn't have me in a mood that makes me want to throw things around because the stupid car is broken again.

I'm currently trying to reduce my stress levels by buying a better car, even if this means borrowing money. I'm figuring that it's easier to keep a good car running than make a borderline case work, plus I can spend the time keeping the car good rather than working my way down a long todo list.

I understand your feelings quite well. When my daughter was born we were broke and poor but we scraped it together to buy a complete stripper of a Nissan Sentra new because I needed my daughter and wife to be in something reliable not the usual driving projects I owned.

I have always tried to keep the rest of the family in something under warranty even if I had to drive BABE rally quality cars myself.

No matter how skilled of a DIYer you may be there's always the issue of time to get things done. I know most of us around here are of the DIY mentality but I think very few fault anyone for making sure their family is taken care of and safe. I know I wouldn't. With everything else we have to do in our lives sometimes it's best to leave the DIY for the project cars.

I feel you. My g/f's car which has been her only source of transportation and the one car we can rely on (mine are both 20 years old) has reached the point where it's starting to have one failure after another. Twice in the last month she's had the car break down while on the road. Not due to lack of maintenance, just things wearing out (cam angle sensor was yesterday's failure). Having your s/o's car die on them and having no transportation to get her to work ratchets up the stress level quite nicely. Having nothing but transportation you can't ever really rely on isn't the best feeling in the world, and with children depending on you I'm sure it's even worse. The good news for you is that there are some really nice cars out there for about the same price as it would take to have them replace your motor. Problem for me is that I can't get her to give up on the car and get something newer. She's too attached to it.

As much as I love cars, I'm broke. Now granted I don't have kids, but debt is keeping me pretty frugal.

I've decided I cant really be low-buck till I can afford a garage with enough space to fix my own stuff, and I can't really do that till I have a career with a decent income.

So, cars will wait. Motorcycles are cheap.

Go to the auctions and buy the best car, for the least money you can. Do some research on models you are interested in before you go. Remember that an auction is designed to get you bidding so set a limit and do not go beyond that under any circumstances.

Do you have a local trusted mechanic? Do the small stuff yourself, ie: brake pads, oil changes, filters and let a specialist do the rest.

That's my plan for family cars.

Yep, been there. I just paid someone $600 to fix the brake lines on my Grand Caravan. I could have done it myself but it would have required buying a $250-300 flare tool I don't have, teaching myself the technique I don't have, and it would have taken at least a spare weekend day I don't have.

The good news is that there are indeed some nice basic cars that can be had for what you may have to spend, or without borrowing much. Good luck, man.

Every person I know who has had a Caravan of that age has had the transmission go out at 120k miles.

mrwillie,

I know exactly where you're coming from. I too am the primary source of income to my family, and try to take of most of the repairs to the cars myself. I do work in the auto repair business, but as a service writer. I've often said "I have just enough knowledge to be dangerous"

I did replace my wife's crapcan Corsica with a Mazda 6 Wagon to get something more reliable and overall safer, but the stress of the car note is often felt. While I tool around in cars that are almost able to be registered to antique status for challenge prices.

When my Scirocco's headgasket went after redoing the whole coolant system I felt that shame crushing defeat. Its the psychological blow from an automotive catastrophe. I ended up fixing the car because it was cheaper an within my grasp, and because I love that dang car. If it had been more than the transverse I4 I probably would have walked away from it though.

Did it take me way longer than it should have? Sure, I ended up doing a few parts everyday when my work/family schedule allowed. My wife and I worked out a schedule for sharing the one running car. But in the end I felt a lot better after it was done, not just because we had 2 cars again, but because I had done my first head gasket and nothing blew up.

For your case its not quite as cut and dry. If you don't feel comfortable attempting the repair and the cost of the repair could get you into a decent replacement go that way. Like others have said, do your research and choose carefully.

I had a similar situation with my Freestyle. I hashed it out here before, but basically the tranny died 50 miles from home on the beginning of a roadtrip. I understand, man. My three kids were not pleased. I need something super reliable for them to be in at this age.

I do head gaskets and motors and stuff. I didn't do the tranny because it was under warranty and they are really hard on FWD without a lift and while working. There is a threshold, man, especially if you go to work during the day and deal with kids during the night.

I can't imaging doing what I do with children. I'm 22, and attending college full-time while working 20-30 hours a week and supporting my auto hobby. My girlfriend was driving a dangerously rusty old Subaru coupe, so I sold it for her and turned it around into a '92 Jetta that my buddy was selling. First it was a tune-up, then the starter, then all 4 hard brake lines, then a brake caliper, then the master cylinder, then the coolant pipe, and now as of last night the tailpipe. I have managed to fix every problem it's developed so far while driving her to and picking her up from work between classes and stints at the workshop and ducking out of work early sometimes...needless to say I have been drinking more beer than usual lately!

If we had a kid or two I would have sent her off to finance a Mazda2 the second I saw the rust underneath that old Subaru.

Don't get the Caravan, 93EXCivic is right - I have never seen one that hasn't gone through at least 1 transmission. My girlfriend's dad drove one as a work vehicle and at 240k it had been through 5 When it came to #6 they went out and got him a brand new Kia van...

I can definitely understand where you're coming from. For project/fun cars, I try to DIY as much as possible. For our DDs, I do the basic maintenance (oil changes, filters, tire rotations, etc.) and send it to a mechanic/dealer when I don't have the time/tools to get something done. If I have some time I might take on some other DIY stuff on our daily drivers, but it's usually something where the vehicle will only be down for a day or two. We rely on our DD's pretty heavily, so it's important that the DIY project have a finite end.

I struggle with sending stuff to the mechanic/dealer for repairs, but in the end I've found it's much less stressful for me. Sure, I have to cough up the money for the repair, but it's not like it's hanging over my head for weeks/months. I had a set of new front rotors/pads sit in our basement for a year before I got around to installing them. I've found that I'm only human, balancing work/family is tough enough without adding a pile of car/house DIY to the mix.

Getting a newer car that requires less maintenance is an extension of taking something to the mechanic/dealer. You'll pay more money up front, but in the end it should be a less stressful experience overall. The trick is finding the right price point where you don't add too much financial stress to the mix. It's a tough balance overall, but ultimately less stress makes me a better co-worker, father, and husband

@everyone.....Thank you for listening. I've been frustrated and down on myself b/c more than a few issues that have come up lately. I don't usually like talking to people about "house stuff", but I needed to get that out. I can't really talk around here w/o being told what I should have done or what I need to do. I don't mind advice( and love getting helpful advice that's not critical ). Long story, thanks for listening and reminding me why I love this board.

@aussie -- I don't have a mechanic right now. We used to have work done at the shop at my wife's last job, but when she left we lost that priviledge.

I have also found that after 2 kids (3+) there are no real options out there for good, high mpg, reliable, safe and cheap car/van/trucks. You either get the Caravans you were saying, and deal with some reliability issues, get a Ody ad deal with crappy transmissions, get a suburban/expedition and deal with crappy gas mileage, a 1st gen ody or roadmaster and deal with lack of modern safety or a mazda5 and deal with not enough space.

I have not found a good answer yet. Cheaping out, as you probably are, I would go with reliable and safe first, making you get a suburban, which sucks.

Sanity often comes at a price. That price may be close to the monthly payment of a newer car. Like others here have mentioned, I keep my wife in a financed "primary" car and myself in a something older. One large reason is that my wife is not good at "listening" to what the car is telling you it needs.

I think an under appreciated car right now is a Buick Rendezvous. Minivan like in size but typically owned by empty-nesters who treated them well and did not trash the interior. A minivan owned by a family can often have a trashed interior.

Back to the Explorer for a minute... at the dealer a new motor is going to be a crate/factory rebuild of some type. Maybe you can call some shops and see what it would cost to have a low-mileage junkyard motor put in.

I feel your pain. My '02 Mountaineer blew the trans (for the 2nd time) at 135k, right before we were going to put it on the market. So $3k transmission later, I get to drive it longer. At least it shifts correctly now.

tuna55 wrote: I have also found that after 2 kids (3+) there are no real options out there for good, high mpg, reliable, safe and cheap car/van/trucks. You either get the Caravans you were saying, and deal with some reliability issues, get a Ody ad deal with crappy transmissions, get a suburban/expedition and deal with crappy gas mileage, a 1st gen ody or roadmaster and deal with lack of modern safety or a mazda5 and deal with not enough space.

Tuna -

That's a great breakdown, as we have 3 kids under 5 and I've come to the same conclusion. The '05 Odys have better transmissions that the '99-04, and I think it's the '07s and up that have a far better transmission design than the '99-06.

One important footnote, though. The in-town mileage on our '05 Ody is about 14 MPG. Not sure how much worse a Suburban would do, as my truck ('06 4X4 Dodge Ram Quad Cab Hemi) does about the same as the Odyssey for in-town.

Don't buy an Ody because you think it'll get far better mileage than a Suburban. Maybe on the highway, but in town it's probably a wash. The lower height of the Ody does make it easier to get the kids in/out of than the truck, though!

I know what you mean. My now wife was in a 20 y.o. Civic. It was a crap shoot on weather it would start each morning. After our wedding, we took all the cash gifts and put that as a down on a newer Accord for my wife, and I will be making payments on it for another 3 1/2 years. Knowing it will start every morning is great.

I'll try to keep myself in old simple cars as long as I can. I want to replace my Neon with a 3 door shadow when the time comes.

First, I'm sorry this happened to you, and I do understand where you're coming from. I've been in similar situations more often that I want to think about. And I think anyone who has worked on their own car and then suffered something like this tends to feel responsible and inadequate. But IMHO, yes, you're over-reacting.

The fact of the matter is that cars will break. Some will do it sooner or more often than others, but by their nature as mechanical devices, they will wear and eventually fail. Regular maintenance will enable it to work as long as is reasonable, but it will not prevent them failing. And it will not prevent sudden unpredictable component failure.

So, as guilty and responsible as you may feel, I think you're letting a rather unfortunate incident exaggerate what your reasonable sense of responsibility is for this incident and your abilities. There is nothing wrong with DIY maintenance if you do it in accordance with with the manufacturer's recommendations (i.e. using the right oil weight, changing belts at appropriate intervals, etc.). And other than the driver's responsibility for recognizing changes in vehicle behavior that might indicate an impending (and preventable failure), there is little you can do to necessarily know somethings gonna break.

As for your responsibility as a provider and protector of your family, I sympathize. It's a terrible feeling to see their feelings of lack of security. But I also think that it's in moments like these that we both learn and teach the value of perspective and personal strength. IMHO, it's good for kids to see us face adversity so that they can see us conduct ourselves and make choices that show our integrity, resilience, ingenuity, and intelligence, rather than emotional, angry frustration. It's just a car. No one got hurt. The world does not come to an end. It is just a problem to be solved. And while things might not be ideal, they are manageable. Manageable is better than the alternative.

But hey, this is just my .02. I do hope you're able to find a way to making this all work out and life gets back to being less eventful.

jrw1621 wrote: I think an under appreciated car right now is a Buick Rendezvous. Minivan like in size but typically owned by empty-nesters who treated them well and did not trash the interior. A minivan owned by a family can often have a trashed interior.

an excellent recommendation

BTDT. I generally drive beaters. But when it comes to my kid, I need the most reliable car I can. This is why my ms3 is still around. I'd have sold it to buy a pinball machine a long time ago otherwise. But I know that car like the back of my hand and KNOW it's going to start and run and drive, so it stays around. Beats the questionable Taurus and the somewhat less questionable mx6 any day.

Buick Rendezvous
Sure, typical GM but that can be seen as a positive as well as a negative.
You will find mpg to be "decent" at only a few points lower than 2010 Scion xB's and Mazda 5's while being much better than an Explorer.
Avoid the awd version to sidestep more complex possible issues. First offered in 2002 you should be able to find 2004 examples with less than 90k miles for about a $6,500 buy price (with maybe a dealer ask price of $8,500)
Don't let a dealer fool you, few people head out actually looking for one of these vehicles. New enough to still finance through traditional means and can bring 3 yr payments of right around $200.

@jeffmx5 -- I have found a JY motor that has about 100k on it for $700. Not really knowing a mechanic around here, I have to use the shop rates that I was given by the dealership. They're booking 26hrs at $95/hr for the R&R. That sounds like alot of time to me. Esp. for a shop that has the correct tools, lift, extra hands, knowledge, etc....

Does that est sound reasonable?

@jrw -- Do you happen to know how much room there is in the back for two car seats and baby stuff??

@Buddha -- Thank you.

My $1300 1998 Sienna just turned 260,000 miles.

In reply to HStockSolo:

I don't know much about these. I tend to dislike toyotas, but I'll consider it. How are they room-wise?