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JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/9/18 1:12 p.m.
Automobilist said:

You haven't owned a pickup?  How do you tow home car projects, engines, etc? How do you tow a race car to the track. (I actually tow mine with a giant diesel motorhome...)

No Italian cars? Again, pretty hard to take you seriously if you haven't ever had one of those beauties.  But then, you probably think a Datsun F10 is a "sports car"...

Pathetic...

If you saw the string of awesome vans I've owned you wouldn't be up my butt so far about not having a pickup. I once had a conversion van built by the Amish. THE AMISH.

I gotta fix the Italian car thing, though. You got me there. I really need a Fiat X1/9 to go next to the MR2 before they all disappear.

Automobilist
Automobilist New Reader
2/9/18 1:45 p.m.

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

Yep, the "Wizard of Wisconsin": Peter Egan is also more of a van guy. yes  Amish surf van, sweet...

X1/9 is cool, but how about a Lancia Beta Scorpion? 

racerdave600
racerdave600 UltraDork
2/9/18 1:53 p.m.
JG Pasterjak said:
Automobilist said:

You haven't owned a pickup?  How do you tow home car projects, engines, etc? How do you tow a race car to the track. (I actually tow mine with a giant diesel motorhome...)

No Italian cars? Again, pretty hard to take you seriously if you haven't ever had one of those beauties.  But then, you probably think a Datsun F10 is a "sports car"...

Pathetic...

If you saw the string of awesome vans I've owned you wouldn't be up my butt so far about not having a pickup. I once had a conversion van built by the Amish. THE AMISH.

I gotta fix the Italian car thing, though. You got me there. I really need a Fiat X1/9 to go next to the MR2 before they all disappear.

You do really, really need a X1/9.  There is a progression ladder and you started at the other end with the MR2s.  laugh  Maybe at this year's challenge, if Hoelscher is one of the pro drivers, you can convince him to bring out his old DSP car for a drive.  It's pretty epic.  

RevRico
RevRico UltraDork
2/9/18 1:53 p.m.

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

can you point me at pictures or an article about this Amish conversion van?

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/9/18 2:29 p.m.
RevRico said:

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

can you point me at pictures or an article about this Amish conversion van?

I'm looking. Might need to wait until I get back to the office Monday where the printed photos are. pretty sure it predated digital technology. In a lot of ways.

 

EDIT: Found one the same brand. Picture this, except blue and gold, and with way bigger fender flares. But that's basically it. Yes, all those windows and ports leaked water like crazy. Even when it wasn't raining.

 

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
2/9/18 2:32 p.m.

We have photos of that van but, yeah, it's from the days of film. On Monday we can scan something. JG, I know where some are filed. 

sbrian2
sbrian2 New Reader
2/9/18 2:54 p.m.
JG Pasterjak said:

5. A Pickup Truck: Every time I see a mid-’90s Toyota pickup, no matter how ratty, I get those wistful “I need to get home and check Autotrader” feelings. There’s something about the combination of utility, ubiquity and indestructibility that really draws me to them–and to pickups in general. Pickups are basically cargo shorts you can drive around in. Pickups are a giant man-purse with wheels and an engine. Pickups are a portable hole into which you can throw all your dreams and all your hopes and take them with you on an adventure.

Exhibit A: My wife's daily driver.  I think she loves that truck more than me sometimes.

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
2/9/18 3:33 p.m.

I never throw away anything.

Duke
Duke MegaDork
2/9/18 3:40 p.m.

Double extra points for the Jesus fish right below the bootleg Nine Inch nails sticker.

And is that giant CARRIAGE thing the Amish equivalent of having STUNTMAN on your jacket?

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/9/18 3:46 p.m.
Duke said:

And is that giant CARRIAGE thing the Amish equivalent of having STUNTMAN on your jacket?

FBI

(Female Body Inspector)

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/9/18 3:48 p.m.

It's actually even more awesome in this photo than I remember it. The radio antenna stuck way out on the front fender was a nice touch. Of course the radio was in the overhead console inside just like god intended.

Stefan
Stefan MegaDork
2/9/18 3:49 p.m.
David S. Wallens said:

I never throw away anything.

So how many times was JG stopped back in those days and his van checked for errant children by the local constabulary?

Cause that look, combined with the van, really screams "If this van is a rocking, I've probably kidnapped someone and you should call the police!"

All kidding aside, please tell me you had a member's only jacket in the van?  laugh

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
2/9/18 3:50 p.m.

JG, didn't this van once get taken over by ants? 

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
2/9/18 5:37 p.m.
David S. Wallens said:

JG, didn't this van once get taken over by ants? 

Taken over makes it sound forceful and I seem to recall it being more cooperative.

mlwebb
mlwebb New Reader
2/10/18 4:07 a.m.

Re 2x4's  - all lumber has been shrinking at a rate varying between 1/64 and 1/256 inch per year for decades, as any remodeller can tell you. Trim is particularly bad, it will come in tape form soon.  I think they should label things with actual sizes - ie 1 7/16" x 3 3/8", or 9/16"x 5 1/4 (for 1x6). I've become a fan of engineered wood - at least I know what size it is, and how strong it is.

That 2x4 was probably 8' long once, when it was 30% water. Pre-cut studs are 92 5/8".

That's why they always say measure twice - the first time is to see what you've got. 

nutherjrfan
nutherjrfan SuperDork
2/10/18 11:45 a.m.

In reply to akylekoz :

I like your thinking! smiley

Crackers
Crackers Dork
2/10/18 12:01 p.m.
DeadSkunk said:

2x4s come in two different lengths, the 8 foot ones that are 96.5" long +/- 1/8" and the 8 foot ones that are just short enough to fit between the headers to create an 8' 0.5" finished wall. Guess how I figured that out.

FTFY

And neither one are exactly 8'. 

Crackers
Crackers Dork
2/10/18 12:31 p.m.
pinchvalve said:

8. Looks Can Be Deceiving: You know what looks exactly the same as room-temperature steel? Steel that’s 700 degrees.

In High School metal shop, we cast a drama mask. I left mine cooling on the grate where you knock off the sand from your mold.  A few hours later, I go back and pick it up with my bare hands.  

In the interim, someone else had noticed that my mask  was cool, moved it elsewhere, and put theirs in the exact same spot.  It was still 700 degrees.  Lucky for my fingertips, I pinched it to slide it over so the damage wasn't too bad.  

Never assume in a metal shop. 

Back when I actually had a shop, I used to tell everyone to assume everything was hot enough to burn you. 

On a busy day, mid project, it was even pretty accurate. 

pjbgravely
pjbgravely HalfDork
2/12/18 11:13 p.m.
10. The Addict’s Shame: Damn you, self-tapping screws. Damn you to hell forever.

 

What is wrong with self tapping screws? Or did you really mean self drilling screws? Some people confuse the two types.

 

 

snailmont5oh
snailmont5oh HalfDork
2/13/18 2:23 a.m.
pjbgravely said:
10. The Addict’s Shame: Damn you, self-tapping screws. Damn you to hell forever.

 

What is wrong with self tapping screws? Or did you really mean self drilling screws? Some people confuse the two types.

 

 

Thank you!  I was talking about self drilling screws the other day, and the kid-who-adopted-me-as-his-dad's friend kept trying to tell me that they were "self tappers". I explained the difference, and he just wasn't going along. I had a Red (from that show about the 70s) moment, and told him convincingly that, if he said "self tappers" one more time, I was gonna feed him his Honda Civic. 

 

Also, it's threads like this that make me spend way too much time grinning at my phone. 

jstein77
jstein77 UberDork
11/6/19 8:51 a.m.
Fueled by Caffeine said:

9. A Car I Don’t Really Care About: Dude.... this is the most liberating thing ever.  Buy an old Toyota pickup... change oil some time.. maybe.

I get all my groceries from Sharper Image and Skymall

My daughter's Hyundai Accent fills that bill for our family. No power, but at only 2300 lbs, it's light enough (and with short enough gearing) to zip away from a light smartly.  Once it's over 35, it takes tons of revs just to keep up with traffic.  My daughter thrashes the living daylights out of it and it keeps coming back for more.  If it ever blows a head gasket or anything else major, we'll cheerfully drop it off at the nearest junkyard and buy another.  A truly disposable car.

 

slowbird
slowbird Dork
11/6/19 9:08 a.m.

Woo, zombie thread! Might as well comment since this nugget was in there:

7. A Tube-Frame GT Car: I am an utter sucker for 1980s and ’90s tube-frame GT machinery. Impossibly bulged fiberglass bodies. V8s that sound like they’re going to swallow you whole and spit you out on the other side of a black hole. And rudimentary, utilitarian construction that’s just a way to support four wheels, an engine and a driver and shuttle them around a race track as fast as possible.

Mine’s got to be something weird, like a Buick Somerset or Olds Cutlass or something. Anyone can make a Mustang or Camaro look fast, but who knew that a Mercury Cougar could look like the gnarliest thing on the track if you threw enough flare and tire at it?

WOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOHOME
NOHOME MegaDork
11/6/19 9:31 a.m.

9. A Car I Don’t Really Care About:

Anything I have ever DD's falls under this description. They have to be paid for with the replacement $$$ in the bank if it all goes wrong. The 2002 Mazda Protege was awesome for this role. The FRS is even better as it gets older because RWD and more drifto in the winter.

Toyman01
Toyman01 MegaDork
11/6/19 9:56 a.m.

V8s that sound like they’re going to swallow you whole and spit you out on the other side of a black hole.

These may be the best words I have ever read on this website. Or even in the magazine. I know exactly what that sound is and you described it perfectly. Awesome!

 

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
11/8/19 6:04 a.m.

I love the way JG writes. 

Whether he’s being creative, or pissed off, it’s all good!

I just had to say that. Carry on...

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