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Login to post Forums » Grassroots Motorsports » Skepticism about high-mileage cars is annoying

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April 27, 2011 9:34 a.m. naparsei New Reader

I like my FiL a lot, but we make our own decisions. He's free to offer advice, and we're free to take it, or decline it. What do you want to do?

I am willing to drive just about any car just about any distance, and I'm not that great of a mechanic either. I just drove a 45 year car on a 425 mile road trip with nothing but a small bag of tool and spares, and my 7 year old son with me...

Also, I have broken down exactly once on a road trip. Guess what? That was part of the adventure too. It was with the wife, and although it was certainly an adverse event at the time, it's become an indelible memory - and we made new friends because of it...
April 27, 2011 9:55 a.m. Teh E36 M3 HalfDork

Yeah, I'd be in the camp where if you take the rental, make sure he knows you are doing it just to make his daughter happy. Otherwise, you may want to look at staking your claim as the "man" in your new wife's life. You aren't pushing him out, but you and the lady are in charge of your own transportation needs. I only imagine what this could do for a lesser father-in-law.... could lead down a road of you buying new cars, living it new houses, etc "just to make him happy", rather than concentrating on what makes the both of you happy.

It's certainly a hit to the pride when they talk smack (directly or not so) about your vehicle of choice. The best stories come from when things don't go right.
April 27, 2011 10:45 a.m. Rufledt HalfDork

Kendall_Jones wrote:

Your on your honeymoon? Shoot, your prime objective should be to get from church to hotel room in as little time as possible (hubba hubba). KJ

Exactly why, when I get married in 1 month (and a day) I'm using a mint, low mileage MKIII supra turbo to leave the church. Nothing like a little boost to start a marriage out on the right foot! That is, the foot that floors the throttle.
April 27, 2011 11:11 a.m. tuna55 SuperDork

Rufledt wrote:

Kendall_Jones wrote:

Your on your honeymoon? Shoot, your prime objective should be to get from church to hotel room in as little time as possible (hubba hubba). KJ

Exactly why, when I get married in 1 month (and a day) I'm using a mint, low mileage MKIII supra turbo to leave the church. Nothing like a little boost to start a marriage out on the right foot! That is, the foot that floors the throttle.

I left in a '67 Corvette 350hp 327, 4 speed with sidepipes. yeah. That's the right foot, right there.
April 27, 2011 11:36 a.m. 16vCorey SuperDork

tuna55 wrote:

Rufledt wrote:

Kendall_Jones wrote:

Your on your honeymoon? Shoot, your prime objective should be to get from church to hotel room in as little time as possible (hubba hubba). KJ

Exactly why, when I get married in 1 month (and a day) I'm using a mint, low mileage MKIII supra turbo to leave the church. Nothing like a little boost to start a marriage out on the right foot! That is, the foot that floors the throttle.

I left in a '67 Corvette 350hp 327, 4 speed with sidepipes. yeah. That's the right foot, right there.

My sister and BIL left in my 16v Rabbit Challenge car, doing a burn out leaving the church. Pretty awesome.
April 27, 2011 1:02 p.m. LordTurbonia New Reader

djhives wrote:

those who dont like working/repairing cars have that attitude of 'unreliable' high-mileage car...

Quoted for truth. I've never had a car that was significantly less than 100K on it when I got ahold of it, and the only DD that ever gave me grief was a Mexican A3 Jetta that managed 150K and eight years of service in my hands before the wiring harness turned to jelly. I loved it, but I love most VWs made before the turn of the century.

My ex-wife HATED that car and would always point out its faults, mainly because it was aging like a Mexican Jetta: it would start, drive and stop like a champion, but only 1 power window worked, it blew turn signal fuses at an alarming rate, and it went through 3 stereos in the time I owned it. It made noises, which scared her witless, and she refused my (usually) reasoned explanation of how everything was fine, I just needed to look at X at some point.

She never got it.

This culminated in us driving her terrible but low-mileage Saturn from Kentucky to Florida because "she didn't trust my car." Um, dear, my car isn't the 40k Saturn throwing misfire codes and turning its cat converter into molten slag. She didn't know enough about mechanics to understand what happened how, and so I had to nurse a 3 cylinder Saturn 800 miles there and back due to pure willful ignorance.

So, OP, to speak to your dilemma: some people won't understand how you'd feel better in a 200K mile car that you have a ton of knowledge and mechanical sympathy for then you would in something new you don't know shizz about. (Those people also happen to be the first ones to come to you with car questions.) I'd say eff it and do what you and the missus want to do, and if her dad doesn't understand why, I don't think you'll ever be able to explain. Such is the way of the motoring enthusiast.

However, the trip I just described was my honeymoon, so maybe you should get the rental.
April 27, 2011 1:21 p.m. sanman Reader

My suggestion, go rent a mustang convertible and send F-I-L the bill. Have fun on the honeymoon!
April 27, 2011 3:45 p.m. Brett_Murphy Reader

Have this conversation with your future wife: "I understand your dad wants to rent us a car for our trip. I'm betting it's because he thinks the rental will be more reliable and wants to do something nice for us. I think my car will make it, but I wanted to get your thoughts on the subject. I don't want to offend your father and I want to do what makes you happy. What do you think we should do?"

Take her answer and run with it.

If you want to have a pissing contest about your car, wait until after the stress of the wedding and honeymoon have passed into memory.
April 27, 2011 3:51 p.m. GrantMLS New Reader

I get that from people all the time when they see my jeep with 436K, my truck with 220K, and my audi with - well who knows the odomiter broke at 175K.. trust them more than any car sitting on a lot. but like said before - not point in starting a war at this time...

rent the car and rig it to break down!
April 27, 2011 3:53 p.m. Wally SuperDork

Brett_Murphy wrote:

Have this conversation with your future wife: "I understand your dad wants to rent us a car for our trip. I'm betting it's because he thinks the rental will be more reliable and wants to do something nice for us. I think my car will make it, but I wanted to get your thoughts on the subject. I don't want to offend your father and I want to do what makes you happy. What do you think we should do?"

Take her answer and run with it.

If you want to have a pissing contest about your car, wait until after the stress of the wedding and honeymoon have passed into memory.

+1 I let my wife do most of the planning for the wedding and honeymoon. My father told me early on it's more important to her and I have the rest of my life to be a horse's ass.
April 27, 2011 4:02 p.m. byron12 Reader

LordTurbonia wrote:

djhives wrote:

those who dont like working/repairing cars have that attitude of 'unreliable' high-mileage car...

Quoted for truth. I've never had a car that was significantly less than 100K on it when I got ahold of it, and the only DD that ever gave me grief was a Mexican A3 Jetta that managed 150K and eight years of service in my hands before the wiring harness turned to jelly. I loved it, but I love most VWs made before the turn of the century.

My ex-wife HATED that car and would always point out its faults, mainly because it was aging like a Mexican Jetta: it would start, drive and stop like a champion, but only 1 power window worked, it blew turn signal fuses at an alarming rate, and it went through 3 stereos in the time I owned it. It made noises, which scared her witless, and she refused my (usually) reasoned explanation of how everything was fine, I just needed to look at X at some point.

She never got it.

This culminated in us driving her terrible but low-mileage Saturn from Kentucky to Florida because "she didn't trust my car." Um, dear, my car isn't the 40k Saturn throwing misfire codes and turning its cat converter into molten slag. She didn't know enough about mechanics to understand what happened how, and so I had to nurse a 3 cylinder Saturn 800 miles there and back due to pure willful ignorance.

So, OP, to speak to your dilemma: some people won't understand how you'd feel better in a 200K mile car that you have a ton of knowledge and mechanical sympathy for then you would in something new you don't know shizz about. (Those people also happen to be the first ones to come to you with car questions.) I'd say eff it and do what you and the missus want to do, and if her dad doesn't understand why, I don't think you'll ever be able to explain. Such is the way of the motoring enthusiast.

However, the trip I just described was my honeymoon, so maybe you should get the rental.

This makes me laugh because I have actually assembled mexican jettas when I ony had a months worth of car building experience... Oh and I would say take the rental I have a slightly overbearing FIL and while I don;t let him run my life I have found that it is easy and sometimes quite nice to take advantage of his need to still be there for is beloved daughter.
April 27, 2011 4:22 p.m. NOHOME Reader

Your rental has arrived:

I own one of these FILs and while he is a wonderful man, he does live in a scary world when it comes to safety. When my daughter arrived, he was commiserating about making sacrifices for children and having to give up the Miata. He was right, when she turned 13, I did get rid of it!

I used to one Yokohamma 001 or whatever the slick-de-jour was. He was nice an bought me some tires with thread on them. Wife made me put them on and it was not a week later we spun the car around an on ramp! Had to take them to a track day to kill them so I could put real tires on again.

A sense of humour goes a long way in this matrimony game.
April 27, 2011 4:27 p.m. Twin_Cam SuperDork

You guys bring up good points about the soon-to-be FiL. I don't think he knows jack about cars, and that may be why. He's not forcing it on us or anything, he has just strongly suggested it...maybe he had a bad experience with a long trip himself. And as for him being grouchy towards me, he lives in California (we're in PA). I suppose it's kind of hard to let me know how much he hates me from 3,000 miles away.

My fiancee is totally cool with it. She loves cars, and always wants to fix hers (or change oil etc), and actually gets ticked if I grab the tools and start doing it myself. So it's really just Dad who's pushing the idea.

Like I said, I'd take the rental no questions if any rental lot had anything worth driving on it. Roomy SUV? Suck-ass gas mileage, and gas will be $5/gal by then, knowing our luck. Camaro/Mustang? They only rent the V6 models, and the rental person will look at you like you have six heads when you demand a manual trans. Family hauler? Who wants to drive one of those 2000 miles round trip? I'll fall asleep at the wheel from boredom. If could find a place that could at least guarantee me a manual-shift car, I might take it. But it would be like an 11 year old Ford Aspire. Com'on.

Maybe the Chevy dealer in Harrisburg will let me take the ZR1 on their showroom floor for a two-week test drive

UPDATE: After some research, it appears a couple places will rent you a Corvette. With an automatic transmission. Why would you do that? It's like a 5'4" blonde supermodel with a huge zit on her face. So close to perfect, and then ruined.
April 27, 2011 5:17 p.m. NOHOME Reader

Twin_Cam wrote:

You guys bring up good points about the soon-to-be FiL. I don't think he knows jack about cars, and that may be why. He's not forcing it on us or anything, he has just strongly suggested it...maybe he had a bad experience with a long trip himself. And as for him being grouchy towards me, he lives in California (we're in PA). I suppose it's kind of hard to let me know how much he hates me from 3,000 miles away.

My fiancee is totally cool with it. She loves cars, and always wants to fix hers (or change oil etc), and actually gets ticked if I grab the tools and start doing it myself. So it's really just Dad who's pushing the idea.

Like I said, I'd take the rental no questions if any rental lot had anything worth driving on it. Roomy SUV? Suck-ass gas mileage, and gas will be $5/gal by then, knowing our luck. Camaro/Mustang? They only rent the V6 models, and the rental person will look at you like you have six heads when you demand a manual trans. Family hauler? Who wants to drive one of those 2000 miles round trip? I'll fall asleep at the wheel from boredom. If could find a place that could at least guarantee me a manual-shift car, I might take it. But it would be like an 11 year old Ford Aspire. Com'on.

Maybe the Chevy dealer in Harrisburg will let me take the ZR1 on their showroom floor for a two-week test drive

UPDATE: After some research, it appears a couple places will rent you a Corvette. With an automatic transmission. Why would you do that? It's like a 5'4" blonde supermodel with a huge zit on her face. So close to perfect, and then ruined.

There are times in life when compromises and adjustments must be made
April 27, 2011 5:44 p.m. Rufledt HalfDork

SOOO glad my soon-to-be FIL, though not a car person, believes old stuff isn't automatically inferior. When most people see my econoline, they either love it immediately, or back away quickly in distrust. He asks to borrow it . To be honest, it is pretty low on miles for being so old (137k @ 24 years of age) and it has never broken down. Ever. I'd trust jumping in this thing and driving from Boston to Alaska and back right now. I have had to replace stuff (a U joint 2 years ago, spark plugs 4 years ago) but those weren't break downs, just wear and tear items. Besides, it's not like it stopped working, I just figured I should replace them because they were lookin pretty bad. Had I not known the problems, I would've obliviously waited (while it continued to shake) until the drive shaft broke, and called it an unreliable car.

And for the record, old cars can be cheaper to fix, too! Hella cheaper than new car payments!
April 28, 2011 2:04 p.m. HiTempguy Dork

mtn wrote:

While annoying, I'd jump on the rental car for the reasons that Stuart presented.

In all honesty, just to set the FiL in his place in the relationship (because he is being irrational IMO), I would not accept the rental. If someone who knows nothing about something thinks they can then make suggestions about it, they would be sadly mistaken. It strikes me as a control thing as well (with the whole "strongly" suggesting). But that's just me.

I'm always up for a pissing contest though, so yeaaaaaa....
April 28, 2011 2:12 p.m. stuart in mn SuperDork

It's always possible that he's just trying to be a nice guy, and everyone here is making mountains out of molehills.

I won't be surprised if this discussion is still going on after you get back from your honeymoon.
April 28, 2011 2:16 p.m. nderwater Dork

A counterpoint is that you only get one shot at your honeymoon, and your wife will remember it a lot more clearly than you do.

In the slim chance that you do end up on the side of the road with the hood up, or bargaining with a French speaking mechanic, how patient and understanding will your fiancée be?
April 28, 2011 2:25 p.m. triumph5 Dork

Twin_Cam wrote:

The Upper Hand and I are getting married in July, and immediately following are embarking on a road trip to Montreal and Quebec City. Her father has repeatedly said he doesn't want us driving up there in my car...he has even gone so far as to offer to pay for a rental car (for two weeks!).

I take care of my car, change the oil regularly, will be carrying commonly-broken spare parts and my tools, and I have been replacing wear items in anticipation. It gets better gas mileage than just about any rental car, I don't have to return it when I'm done, it won't smell like cigarettes, and even if it does break, it's my car and I know how to fix it.

Does anyone else get really defensive when people suggest that your car is an unreliable piece of junk that can't make it down the driveway?

That said, if he wants to rent us a Gallardo or even a CTS-V Coupe or something from one of those Rent-An-Exotic places, I'll be singing a different tune

You are marrying his little baby daughter (in his mind), as such, he is doing the Dad thing, and "protecting" her. As has been mentioned, he IS going to be your future F.I.; so, make him happy/give him piece of mind, and take him up on his offer. The ONLY person who can really strike this down would be her telling him not to spend his money. Don't take it as a personal afront to what you are driving now. He's being a Dad.
April 28, 2011 2:29 p.m. pilotbraden HalfDork

Do I remember someone posting that Enterprise had a BMW 3 series with a manual for rent?
April 28, 2011 2:31 p.m. tuna55 SuperDork

Just to add something to this that you may not have thought of... you're marrying a girl. Up until now (possibly, depends on the girl, but even if it's not obvious, this is nearly always true) the dominant male in her life wasn't you. Her Dad has always filled that role, and will continue to unless you want to do something about it. I went through this when we got my wife (fiancee at the time) a car.

A manual?

Yeah, she'll figure it out.

Well... ok... I guess... I mean, you're going to teach her, right?

... weeks later ...

FIL: Maria, I think we're going to get you some used snow tires for your car

Me: Glen, it already has snow tires on it..

etc...

So if you feel strongly about this (I can't tell if you do) then you have to do it, consequences be damned. You don't have to accept that role, but in my opinion, especially if you're living close to them, you'll really want to do it soon.
April 28, 2011 3:38 p.m. Tyler H Dork

By the time you're marrying this girl, you have probably spent enough time with her to figure out her father. This guy is your family now, too. Show him some respect and if there are boundary issues, wait for something important to come along before taking a stand.

I drive beaters by choice. I just bought a 96 Civic DX with 247k miles on it, without giving it a second thought. If somethign breaks, I can fix it myself and I enjoy doing it. I get paid $.51 a mile for work, and it gets 41mpg mixed. Win. If someone was offering me a free rental for a week, I would graciously accept.

Enjoy your honeymoon!
April 28, 2011 4:41 p.m. M2Pilot Reader

nderwater wrote:

A counterpoint is that you only get one shot at your honeymoon, and your wife will remember it a lot more clearly than you do.

All of my wives have remembered EVERY DAMNED THING more clearly than I do.

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