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Login to post Forums » Grassroots Motorsports » So when there is a bad wreck at your event...

Oct. 19, 2009 11:53 a.m. sachilles Reader

Do you mention it to your Wife/significant other?

We had a pretty ugly wreck this weekend(driver is OK), but his car is done. Told my wife about it, but not in any great detail. Wish I could talk her more about it, but I don't want it to cause her any unnecessary worry by sharing too many details. Absolutely turns me inside out, even if the driver is perfectly OK. You know they've invested countless hours and money to get their car to this point. Even though they know the risks, it's still unfortunate.
Oct. 19, 2009 11:55 a.m. maroon92 UberDork

Drivers have to accept the inherent risks involved in motorsport. Drivers wives have to accept the inherent risks involved with having a Driver husband.

I would say full disclosure, but that is just me.
Oct. 19, 2009 11:56 a.m. Giant Purple Snorklewacker Dork

Absolutely... thats how I got funding for a cage, firesuit, fire bottle and Rage R3 :)
Oct. 19, 2009 12:01 p.m. sachilles Reader

I'm not suggesting omitting that the event happened. Just failing to mention any of the graphic detail.
Oct. 19, 2009 12:09 p.m. Keith PowerDork

On the very first day of the Targa Newfoundland, we were first on the scene of a crash with the navigator stuck in the car. Didn't seem to bother Janel - my wife and navigator - one bit. Later in the event, we were the first on the scene of a rollover. Again, no concerns. So I guess I wouldn't have a problem.

Now, if I had to tell her that I had wrecked our car...
Oct. 19, 2009 1:38 p.m. Strizzo SuperDork

In reply to Keith:

well i guess when she's your navigator she'll be one of the first to know
Oct. 19, 2009 2:12 p.m. car39 Reader

My wife attends most of my track events, and has seen several incidents. She's not happy about it, but also figures we have seen at least as bad, if not worse, driving TO the events. It can happen anywhere, at anytime, and sometimes there isn't a thing you can do about it. You told your wife about it, leave it there, and plan how you can be safe the next time out.
Oct. 19, 2009 4:22 p.m. ultraclyde Reader

I'd tell my wife with emphasis on the fact that the driver was fine. Most spouses will (correctly) feel that the hardware is unimportant. I see it as proof that proper prep and equipment make racing fairly safe, even under bad circumstances.
Oct. 19, 2009 4:56 p.m. subrew Reader

Crashes happen at hillclimbs. At least the driver is ok.

Chris H.
Oct. 19, 2009 8:35 p.m. fastmiata New Reader

When I got interested in racing, Debbie attended several races and saw several incidents where cars were torn up but drivers walked away. She decided at that point that racing was acceptible. We did discuss on several occasions especially after she witnessed an out of control spouse, the need for her to remain calm in the event of the inevitable incident. Ironically most of my major incidents occurred in front of her and she was aware of my condition fairly quickly. A turn 7 incident at Road Atlanta did help me get radios.
I think that you need to educate your spouse to the risks of racing. I do also believe that you may want to edit your reports of incidents that occur. YMMV
Oct. 19, 2009 8:53 p.m. Toyman01 HalfDork

I don't have a problem with the wife, but the Mother is another story. I don't tell her squat. You would think I hadn't been married and on my own for 23 years.

All the wife wants to do is get behind the wheel for her turn.
Oct. 20, 2009 6:50 a.m. ddavidv UltraDork

Here's the rule I use: Is there anything to be gained from going into detail? Will there be negative fallout if I go into detail? If there is no benefit to 'full disclosure', as someone put it, then why bother? Causing worry to the spouse over something that most likely will never happen to you is, to me, absurd. They've seen auto racing on TV. They know crashes happen. Why restate the obvious and cause strife?
Oct. 20, 2009 9:54 a.m. Gearheadotaku Reader

Toyman01 wrote:

I don't have a problem with the wife, but the Mother is another story. I don't tell her squat. You would think I hadn't been married and on my own for 23 years.

Yeah, I've forgotten to tell mom that I've been road racing for two years. When I say I went racing last weekend, she still thinks it's a "safe" autocross.
Oct. 20, 2009 3:34 p.m. DeadSkunk New Reader

Twice in my racing career I've managed to roll a car. Both times my wife was sitting up in the tower helping timing and scoring at Waterford Hills and I managed to roll in full view. She didn't say anything until a few years later ,when she admitted that she wasn't sorry to see me sell the race car.Thank the Lord that my mother lives on the west coast and has never seen me race. I would have got the "Don't you care if your kids have a father" speech.
Oct. 20, 2009 5:51 p.m. M2Pilot New Reader

Around a year ago I put tehe front of the M2 in the tirewall when I went off at turn 17 at VIR at a HPDE. Didn't do any major damage but wasn't able to track the car anymore that weekend. I drove home (about 4 hours round trip) got the M3 & tracked it the rest of the weekend. The bride has no interest at all in cars but she seemed sorta pissed about this episode.
Oct. 20, 2009 7:02 p.m. pinchvalve UltraDork

I withhold nothing from my wife, ever. Learned my lesson on wife #1, not interested in a wife #3.
Oct. 20, 2009 7:51 p.m. irish44j Reader

hmm...well what if the wreck was caused by a wild turkey crossing the track at the wrong time?

btw, the car actually finished the next 8 hours of the enduro with no windshield and no rear glass.....our team in a blazing-hot RX-7 was insanely jealous that he got the awesome airflow on a 95-degree day, and it was suggested that someone throw a frozen turkey from the overpass when our RX7 was going under....
Oct. 20, 2009 8:11 p.m. jstein77 HalfDork

Ewwwww.
Oct. 21, 2009 12:19 a.m. motomoron Reader

When I showed my wife pics of the wadded WRX upside down of the wrong side of the tire wall at the bottom of the hill, drivers left past T10 @ VIR full course I said; remember how I said that before I went to VIR I asked everyone who mattered what I needed to know about VIR and they all said "Do not under any circumstances lift in 10?" "I do" "He did"

She's heard a few stories and seen the pictures, but was on board for lots of motorcycle road racing a decade ago. She's got a good perspective on the concept of risk mitigation, and has understands that I'm true to my belief that I'm old, fat and have nothing to prove. I don't get catch red mist and I'm happy to skip the last session if I'm wore out - there's always more laps another day, and if it's Summit I've already been around thousands times anyway.

In the time we've been together I've been hit by cars while riding motorcycles and bicycles, had innumerable medium to brutal falls racing skateboards, and have done track days on 2 and 4 wheels w/ zero damage. The track is the safest place I drive or ride.
Oct. 21, 2009 9:09 a.m. foxtrapper SuperDork

ddavidv wrote:

Here's the rule I use: Is there anything to be gained from going into detail? Will there be negative fallout if I go into detail? If there is no benefit to 'full disclosure', as someone put it, then why bother? Causing worry to the spouse over something that most likely will never happen to you is, to me, absurd. They've seen auto racing on TV. They know crashes happen. Why restate the obvious and cause strife?

A fundamental precept for a successful marriage! It applies to many other areas of life.

There are times to keep your mouth shut, and times to talk. A wise man can distinguish the two.

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