Things you shouldn't say in a CL ad

exhibit 1:

https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/cto/d/cadillac-sts/6350972773.html

"you can smoke the tires off doing donuts"

Exhbit 2:

"Lowballers need not apply" The car is pictured sitting in a pool of its own ATF and the seller admits the transmission case "might be cracked"

https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/wsh/cto/d/1984-chevrolet-z28-camaro/6387975378.html

I'm sure you all have your favorites.

More importantly, how did I not know there was an STS-V?

In reply to Robbie :

sounds like a personal problem 

I enjoyed the Camaro ad.

"put in a security system that is working so good you can't start the car."

at least camaro is spelled right, instead of camero. You get better deals in the detroit CL if you type in camero.

“Everything is perfect except the rust in the 240z’s battery tray, but that’s easily fixed...” 

“civic SI... lowered, full I/H/E, rota wheels, NEVER BEEN RACED, BABIED WHOLE TIME” 

“bmw 325... blown motor. 6,000$, my loss your gain”

Regarding the STS-V.  Who cares that you REMOVED plastidip from the wheels?  Is that intended to ad value?

Recently removed Plasti dip on wheels.

In reply to trucke :

I guess tell him “thanks for saving me some time”?

"Car runs great" 

Engine sitting on the floor next to the car. 

From my own Craigslist ad for my poor, poor Saab: 

The Bad:
-A tree fell on it

I would at least look at that CTSV.  Seems like an honest add.  Millage seems to be ok for the year not sure on the price but any CTSV under 10K is worth looking at in my book.  And if any owner of a CTSV said they never did a donut or roasted the tires at least once I would not trust anything they say.  Why else do you have one of these? 

Here is a good one:

https://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/d/rx-8-mazda/6402480262.html

2700 for a non running and driving rx8 that comes with no motor or transmission.

"selling at a loss"

"priced for shell plus body kit and v8 swap kit"

"may need to apply for lost title"

meanwhile other rx8s are running/driving selling for 3-4k

Burrito and I had a favorite local CL ad.

1980 Fiat Fiero

Runs but does not car

And a picture of a car covered in laundry and crap with flat tires obviously having sat for a decade

My favorite back when I was looking for a Cummins:

"4 inch straight pipe all the way back very loud, the soccer moms an old people hate it but the truck sluts and crack whores love it. New paint, new holland blue. Truck runs good. Very quick, so fast it puts your balls I'm your stomach. no leaks. Low miles for a cummins. Only selling because i got my girlfriend pregnant in this truck and I don't want that kinda bad luck anymore. Serious inquiries only. Please contact me at..."

I have seen "runs great, needs engine" more than once.

Runs great but needs transmission seems to be real common.

"Typical" or "low" rust, usually means everything from rockers to bedsides are gone. Pretty much my favorite craigslist line ever.

I'm always a fan of "I know what I've got" 

e.g. low ballers need not apply - "I know what I've got" 

e.g. I want an absurd amount of money for this pile - "I know what I've got" 

e.g. the wife/girlfriend wants this car gone, but I don't want to sell it - "I know what I've got" 

In reply to maschinenbau :

Hey, what's that stain on the seat? 

My favorite was a posting a few years ago titled "The Danger Ranger," a title which was also poorly painted onto the tailgate  of the sorry truck. "Jumps great, but don't land so good." "Slow as E36 M3, but don't worry she still does burnouts!"

"Runs and drives great.  Needs to be towed because clutch is broken"

Camaro guy on crack.  

Wont start - just Hotwire it?  Just ground the positive cable bolt on the starter to the frame.  

Trans cracked but internal parts are fine he says?   Take another hit. 

maschinenbau said:Very quick, so fast it puts your balls I'm your stomach. no leaks.

I can say that it is undesirable to have leaks after your balls go into your stomach.

Around here it’s very common to see “Runs great!  Won’t start”

"Things you would say in your Craigslist ad, that you wouldn't say about your partner..."

No Lowballers

Only getting rid of it because I got a newer model

Needs rear end work

Patrick said:

Around here it’s very common to see “Runs great!  Won’t start”

Around here it's "knick knacks", as in "It's a good truck, just needs a few knick knacks". The seller of the Suburban actually said that to me, and all I could think of was:

In reply to logdog :

Has a shimmy that can't be fixed

Needs a grille

Cheap!