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AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair PowerDork
9/6/13 1:28 p.m.
Cotton wrote: I mean damn have any of you guys ever heard of compromise?

of course we have. we compromise our car collections so mama will give us some Bob Costas.

octavious
octavious Reader
9/6/13 1:44 p.m.

Give it to your pops. Don't sell it to him. And make sure when he is done with it you get it back.

I bought my car before we got married and we drove away from the wedding in it. She likes it and knows it will never go anywhere. She also knows that it will always be family first for me and if it came down to it, I'd sell the car no question.

If she is into autocrossing or cruising I say get something you will both enjoy and go to it.

wbjones
wbjones PowerDork
9/6/13 1:50 p.m.
Javelin wrote:
SilverFleet wrote: There are other cool cars out there. Is the fact that it still needs work the reason why she hates it? Could you find another one down the road with all your AMC family connections that's more complete?

I thought this was an important question. She dislikes this particular Javelin, not all of them. She'd be A-OK with me getting an already nice one in the future. Although she acknowledges the amount of progress I've made on this one (and yes, it really was $250, I have the BoS and Title to prove it), it will always be that "ugly rusty orange POS" I brought home without asking.

This why I am leaning towards letting it go to Dad. He practically owns half of it anyway (he sent me, for free, the brake booster, master cylinder, complete front suspension, carburetor, valve covers, exhaust manifolds, tons of misc pieces and trim, etc). He needs/wants a car now (he has a 69 Ambassador he's been using for the last 15+ years and it's literally rusting away, no floors left, doors have baseball sized holes, etc) and the door is open for me to get a better AMC in the future. I've always really wanted a 68-70 AMX or a 70 Javelin.

this sounds like the solution ....

on an aside ... I've never understood the "bought it without her permission" ...

but then I'm not married ...

anyone see a connection between those two points

fasted58
fasted58 PowerDork
9/6/13 2:07 p.m.

I bet you (both) will be happy w/ a S197

moparman76_69
moparman76_69 Dork
9/6/13 9:34 p.m.
Javelin wrote: To be fair, nearly *everything* I do causes marital strife (amirighttuna55?!?).

This is a problem. If you honestly feel that way and don't work it out, it will cause your marriage to fail.

Javelin wrote: I thought this was an important question. She dislikes this particular Javelin, not all of them. She'd be A-OK with me getting an already nice one in the future.

My guess is it represents a foolish financial decision to her. It causes strife because it is a manifestation of other issues. If she is like my wife she worries about bills and money way too much.

This kinda goes into how you have your finances arranged. If you both put your earnings into a joint account and it's all "our" money, then you need to work out how to pay for project expenses without her feeling like you are using funds for your project when she feels that there are more important things to use that money for.

That being said I wouldn't sell the car until you resolve the issues behind the strife over the car. You need to sit down and work out the root cause of why she hates the car. If not then you'll find your ability to have projects neutered.

BAMF
BAMF HalfDork
9/7/13 9:28 a.m.

This sounds straight forward to me. Give the car to dad, tell him you want to buy it back when he's no longer interested. Get Mustang, everyone's happy.

oldopelguy
oldopelguy Dork
9/7/13 10:03 a.m.

My ex-wife convinced me to sell off all my Opels when it became very difficult to afford to put plates on them one year. My current wife won't let me sell the motorcycle I have only put 200 miles on in the last 3 years because she knows what it meant to me to get it.

Were I in your shoes I would loan Dad the car indefinitely (put his name on the title so he can pay for plates and taxes and such but leave yours on there as well so he can't sell it without you being involved, in this case you AND him vice you OR him.)

Step 2 is opening an additional bank account for your car hobby and setting up a monthly allowance into it. The discussion with the wife is how much for the allowance, not whether or not you deserve to be able to spend money on your hobby, and be clear that oil changes or repairs work on the family ride do not come from that account. Once established, in true GRM fashion make the hobby pay for itself by flipping a couple of your family or friends cars each year and build up a nest egg for the next car or to finish off your current one while Dad is driving it.

dj06482
dj06482 Dork
9/7/13 4:58 p.m.

I'd sell the car to your Dad, with the right of first refusal if he sells it again in the future. It sounds like the right decision for your family, and by keeping it in the family, if you really regret your decision you'll likely be able to get it back at some point in the future.

No car is worth causing issues with your wife, and getting rid of it should help your relationship. Some people are able to continue to do vehicle projects with small children, although so far I haven't been one of them. I sold off all of my fun cars over the past few years to allow more funds and time for the family, and haven't regretted that decision. It helped us to move into our current house by putting some money towards a down payment, and it allowed me to focus on finishing all the projects on our old house so we could sell it and move into this one. Our current house came with a two-car garage, which someday will be put to good use. Right now my car activities consist of commuting and basic maintenance, but someday down the road I hope to have some more fun cars to work on. Life is about keeping the balance, and sometimes it's better to admit defeat in an individual battle in order to regroup, and come back stronger in the long-term.

BoostedBrandon
BoostedBrandon Dork
9/7/13 5:48 p.m.

I'm in a similar position, Mr. Javelin, if I can explain without hijacking your thread, let me explain.

I still own my first car. 1992 Camaro, I've owned it for almost 10 years and we went on our first date in it. We went on several dates off and on before we became "official" (gotta love high school) and that's when I got really, really stupid.

Very, very early in our relationship, like literally 5 or 6 weeks in, I had a little night of infidelity with an ex. In that car. When I talk about restoring it or spending money on it, she gets all quiet and I can tell she's hurting, so I remind my stupid self to shut the berkeley up and change the subject.

When I see that car I'm reminded of nights cruising the streets with friends, T-tops out, jamming to Black Sabbath, and shooting passers by with a marshmallow gun. When she sees it, she thinks of my one night berkeley up on that cold January day almost seven years ago. She stayed with me, I was lucky she even married my sorry ass.

We've talked about selling it, but she knows I'm attached to it and says she doesn't want to see me mope about with it gone. It has been the proverbial elephant in the room in our relationship pretty much since the beginning. Money is tight, baby #2 will be here soon, and the car needs so much, it really may be time to let it go. I'm such a packrat, it will be tough to actually do it, but this thread may have helped.

Don't be selfish like me, Mr. Pinto, take the Dad option and pick up where you left off sometime down the road. You are lucky that she enjoys the autocross thing, I wish I were so fortunate. Take my advice, I'm not using it.

Oh, and BTW, thanks GRM for giving me a place to release that.

poopshovel
poopshovel MegaDork
9/7/13 5:51 p.m.
SilverFleet wrote: Causing marital strife? Either get rid of the car or get rid of the family. I would suggest getting rid of the car. There are other cool cars out there. Is the fact that it still needs work the reason why she hates it? Could you find another one down the road with all your AMC family connections that's more complete?

SilverFleet FTW!

We're all at different stages in our lives. 3 years ago, I would've said "Nut up and get that berkeleyer done!" Now, I completely get it. I still refuse to punt on the CRX. I'd punt on the festiva on a heartbeat if wayne would let me. I also refuse to let either of them rust/rot away. Both are in the garage...I park my DD outside :)

poopshovel
poopshovel MegaDork
9/7/13 6:11 p.m.

Also: FWIW: I have no attachment to the Festiva. On paper, it'd be a shoe-in for the sub $1k class at the challenge...maybe even sub $500. But after that, it wouldn't really do any one thing really well.

The CRX however...if I got in done (it's not too far off) the way I want to do it, with about $1k more in parts invested, would be one of the nicest 1G CRX's in the country, and a DD that would make me forget all about $15,000 M3's.

We're talking about moving next year, so that may be the crossroads.

I just take almost no pleasure in wrenching on my own. Before the kiddo, ot was awesome to have a weekend where I did my thing (wrench) while mama did her thing (hang with family, girlfriends.) With the kiddo, I'll be goddamned if I'm going to spend my one day off NOT hanging with my kid, and she'd much rather go to the park/lake/aquarium/zoo than watch dafdy curse and bleed.

When Hong Norrth activates, it's a berkeleying thing of beauty. We get drunk, tell jokes, bag on each other, and have a berkeleying pile of fun. At the end of the day, we sit upon the field of battle enjoying a few well-earned comforts (BBQ & booze) and realize we got a ton of E36 M3 done.

Sadly, we've all had some major life changes in the last few years. Deaths, births, marriages, divorces, promotions, layoffs. It's just a weird time for the Georgia boys.

/ramble off. Reminds me, I need to just set up a bbq at the house for my boys.

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