Today I learned how to hate myself just a little bit more...

Here's my saturday saga..I had a mechanic stop by my domicile not long ago, he looked over my Volvo wagon and told me to get a new crank sensor and spark amplifier. I did what I was told. Parts came in the mail yesterday. Since Eastsidemav’s little shindig was called off I tried to get this turdbrick running. I failed miserably….

I had a pretty good set up to start with……Felt all manly with my fire, tools, oh yeah!

I ended up breaking some kind of part, I don’t know what it is. But I took it off and inserted a socket in its place.

Then the paparazzi showed up.

After all was said and done the car still doesn’t start. So, I finished the day with a black and mild and a good cry.

Sometimes you win, sometimes the car wins. The car has beaten me more times than I can count.

why I moved away from Volvos......

Khakis before Saint Patricks day? Is that Leprechaun blood on those hoses? And remember "can't stop addicted to the shindig!" Shenanigans!

In reply to nutherjrfan:

My standard fashion statement. Khakis and army boots. Neither purchased, given to me. Im not much of a mechanic or fashion plate.

Its a good thing you broke that heater shut off valve, because otherwise it will break at the least opportune moment, and then you would need a new head gasket.

If you want me to walk you through the no start, I've worked on those since they were brand new.

I've been there many a time. Come to think of it mostly with Volvos. Why do we like them again?

This is a very sad story. Looks cold.

I hate it when the paparazzi show up at my garage

In reply to Streetwiseguy:

Get here now.

Always get a Volvo from 1993 or earlier. Anything after that is crap....IMHO, of course

So, 91 Volvo, cranks, no start. I presume, based on the crank sensor replacement, you have no spark. I will also presume it a Bosch system, not the Regina Rex.

Check every fuse in the vehicle. Every. Single. One. There are a few power supply wires coming off the battery. Make sure they are all good.

Find a 12v test light, a stethoscope or long screwdriver, and a friend. Have friend crank engine while you listen for the fuel pump. Now use the stethoscope to listen to injectors while cranking. Now pull coil wire from distributor, hold it half an inch away from something metal, and have friend crank while you watch for spark. If you have none, you've already replaced the likely culprit with your crank sensor, so there's trouble a-brewing.

So- pump runs, no spark first. This means your ecu is receiving a crank signal, and knows to engage the fuel pump relay. Get your test light, and probe the positive terminal of the coil. Should be 12 volts with the key on. Probe the negative side, watch very closely, and crank. Light should flash when cranking. No flash, replace the ignition "power stage".

http://www.ebay.com/itm/One-Volvo-240-740-940-Saab-900-Bosch-0227100124-Power-Stage-Ignition-Amplifier-/391717231436?hash=item5b342a9b4c

Flash, hold the coil wire really close and see, or even feel, whether there is any spark at all. Flashing, no or almost no spark needs a new coil.

Alternately, spark, no fuel pump operation- Remove the ashtray and the little box and lighter under the radio, unclip the fusebox and pull it all out the hole.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Volvo-1991-740-WAGON-Fuse-Relay-Board-From-Center-Dash-Great-Parts-Group-/152354578948?hash=item23790a6204:g:t4sAAOSwa~BYT~S8&vxp=mtr

The six pin relay, middle row on the left is the efi main relay. It is a two stage relay. Turn the key on, it should click and energise the injectors, maf etc. Cranking, it should power up the pump. Pull the relay, and see if its burnt the electrical connector. Then, probe for power. Big red? Pink, maybe, wire should be 12 volts. Big yellow wire is out to the pump. Jump them, and the pump should run. No run, beat the pump with a rock. If it runs with the jumper, pop the cover off and resolder the circuit board.

I just remembered, yours is new enough it will have a radio suppression relay under he hood that powers up the injectors. If you have spark, fuel pump, and no injector pulse, find that relay, which should be clipped to the strut tower, I think, possibly beside the fan relay if it has one. Resolder it. I think its the turbo cars that have a bank of resistors on the left inner fender with green wires. That is the power distribution out to the injectors. I've seen one of those come apart at the wire connector.

There. That should have you thoroughly confused.

Start by making sure about spark and pump/injector operation.

Timing belt isn't busted, right?

That heater valve can be replaced with a piece of tube if you live in a place where Max a/c isn't needed. Otherwise, its available from most parts stores, but you have to ask for one from a 80's GM product. Find an old guy at the counter who knows things, and get him to dig out the 4seasons catalogue buyers guide.

We bought an '83 brick in '85 and kept it until 2001. The A/C sucked from the get-go and the A/C guy burned up one compressor overcharging it to try and get it working. Somewhere around '95 I realized the heater controls used a capillary setup that would kick in and cancel out the A/C. I put clamps on the heater hose and the A/C worked great after that. Clamp it in April and remove it for Thanksgiving. It had 198k and ran great when I crunched it in 2001, but still ran well enough to drive it to the junk yard....,

In reply to Streetwiseguy:

Holy cow thank you for all the great advice!

Did you feed it blood? Any project I've ever worked on requires a sacrifice before completion.