out of warranty Audi
btw - Ponys are cool. Light and rwd.
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June 25, 2009 10:15 a.m. ArthurDent New Reader
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June 25, 2009 10:43 a.m. slefain Dork
Early 90s Lincoln Continental. The 3.8L had chronic headgasket problems and the air suspension has the ability to make grown mechanics cry. All the functions are computer controlled and die one by one. The air ride will work and then one day it won't. That's when you find out all the bags are shot AND the pump burned itself out trying to inflate the leaking bags constantly.
The next one would be any pre-'99 Northstar powered Caddy that has never been serviced thanks to the "100,000 mile no-service" parts lie. Tick tock, tick tock......
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June 25, 2009 11:08 a.m. Adrian_Thompson Reader
This is easy, car for your worst enemy? No problem, just tell them to find something with the word 'Toyota' on the back made after approx 2000.
Why?
Easy.
A) Having paid too much for Toyota's 'perceived' quality over the competition, they come to understand the meaning of perceived.
B) They will die from terminal boredom and no longer be your worst enemy.
C) If they somehow survive B, they'll have to live with the shame of driving such a monumentally crap and boring car.
Note, this post is only 47% in jest, I am 53% serious
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June 25, 2009 11:13 a.m. wlkelley3 HalfDork
ArthurDent wrote: btw - Ponys are cool. Light and rwd.
I can second this. Ponys were the car of choice for taxi drivers in Korea in the late 70's/early 80's and they drove & abused them. Still ran. Rode in many of them then.
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June 25, 2009 12:25 p.m. DILYSI Dave UltimaDork
I'll have to +1 that E36 M3box late 80's Lemans.
Out of warranty Audi would be good, except for they are nice when they run.
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June 25, 2009 1:09 p.m. warpedredneck New Reader
EricM wrote:
Anything I have driven in the last 10 years Minus the new minivan
anything i have parked in the last 10years ('cause its used up, worn out,beat, and thrashed to the last legs!) hehe
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June 25, 2009 1:24 p.m. geomiata Reader
so i give you the 1986 Hyundai Pony!!
Thats a turbo sprint/firefly hood scoop.
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June 25, 2009 2:03 p.m. sanman New Reader
Guys, c'mon think big. Tell your "friend" that he needs a really cool car....like an FD rx7 TT. No, don't be sensible, stretch your budget to get it. I know a great highly modified version on sale right now. What tht you say? reliable? Of course it is, it's Japanese isn't it? No need to save those extra pennies for repairs, spend them on that wonderful ex-gf of mine that you stole.
Alternatively, cheap Italian supercars...I know three British blokes that can attest to their anvil solid reliability record.
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June 25, 2009 2:11 p.m. slefain Dork
sanman wrote:
Guys, c'mon think big. Tell your "friend" that he needs a really cool car....like an FD rx7 TT. No, don't be sensible, stretch your budget to get it. I know a great highly modified version on sale right now. What tht you say? reliable? Of course it is, it's Japanese isn't it? No need to save those extra pennies for repairs, spend them on that wonderful ex-gf of mine that you stole.
Alternatively, cheap Italian supercars...I know three British blokes that can attest to their anvil solid reliability record.
Alright then, I wish upon my greatest enemy THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!:
With the LED dash. OOOOOOoooooooOOOOOooh.....................
And may the previous owner have lived in an open air bungalow by the seashore and allowed his teenage son to install a new stereo.
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June 25, 2009 2:11 p.m. Rusty_Rabbit84 HalfDork
ok, since the last two suggestions were shot down, i have the motherload of a suggestion...
THE CHEVROLET CELEBRITY
the car no celebrity would ever drive!!
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June 25, 2009 2:21 p.m. benzbaron Reader
Station wagons are always cool if they run though, especially a 4 door, that might actually make a decent car.
I figure stretch the budget and get a mercedes V8 sedan with a chopped vacuum system and missing smog parts. When it does run you might get 10mpg which will keep the budget low enough that you can never afford to have it fixed. Not that bad to fix but going to DMV every 2 months to temporarily register a car sucks. I had to do it for 2 years!
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June 25, 2009 3:29 p.m. Woody SuperDork
My father has a Mercury Montego. He loves it, but it is the most unpleasant new car I've ever driven.
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June 25, 2009 3:34 p.m. RexSeven HalfDork
80's/early 90's Chrysler minivan with the automatic tranny and a normally aspirated 4-banger. Slow, boring, cheap, and unreliable- how can you go wrong?
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June 25, 2009 3:40 p.m. friedgreencorrado HalfDork
How `bout the US built Renault 9 that AMC used to sell?
French ergonomics and 80s US build quality. The Archer Bros. may have run like hell in theirs, but they were being paid to do it.
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June 25, 2009 4:27 p.m. thedude New Reader
Two cars... One Mantra...
"Let's make it round and droopy!"
Uuuugghhhnngnnnnghhgnnnggnnnn gooodd I can't stand to even look at these.
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June 25, 2009 4:38 p.m. grpb New Reader
Ford GT because:
1) Payments would require him live on bread and water
2) He would never sleep knowing it's out in the condo carport
3) Couldn't afford a 2nd car (see #1), will eventually be running really late to a 7 am appointment in the winter and the streets will be unplowed...
4) He will drive it as one would expect, so even if #3 doesn't happen, something else will
5) Slim to no chance, but perhaps he will take it to a trackday, where you will pass him multiple times in your Challenge car, and everything will be right with the universe...
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June 25, 2009 4:39 p.m. RexSeven HalfDork
thedude wrote:
Two cars... One Mantra...
"Let's make it round and droopy!"
Uuuugghhhnngnnnnghhgnnnggnnnn gooodd I can't stand to even look at these.
Edge to the Chrysler for being less reliable. We used to have a jellybean Taurus wagon as a family car and the only thing that could (and did) kill it was a hydrolocked engine.
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June 25, 2009 5:17 p.m. aeronca65t HalfDork
Too easy.
If it's ~for~ your enemy, get it ~from~ the enemy.
A Paykan.
This is actually what the Chrylser/Rootes did with their old tooling for the Hillman Hunter (also sold in the US as the "Plymouth Cricket"). They sold all the manufacturing crap off to the Iranians. They're all over the place there, wheezing and belching around. Even Cuba has better cars.
For the last 30 years, the main car they've had in Iran is this agricultural British design that was probably a $h1t-box at the get-go. No wonder old president I'm-A-Dinner-Jacket is so cranky.
At one point, they couldn't get engines from Rootes, so they put Peugeot engines in these things. Imagine that!
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June 25, 2009 6:08 p.m. White_and_Nerdy New Reader
I'd give him my first car:
Mechanically identical to the Celebrity already mentioned, but with the promise of Pontiac performance - soon to be let down by the wussy 4-cyl engine, autotragic transmission, handling like a bus, and the factory AM/FM radio.
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June 25, 2009 6:20 p.m. GregTivo Reader
Ford Tempo...its...a...car...
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June 25, 2009 6:47 p.m. WLB New Reader
Based on my experience with an XKE and an in-laws experience with an XJ6 (I think that is the right model), I'd say Jaguar. The thing broke down so often that, for Christmas, his employees bought him gift certificates from the repair shop.
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June 25, 2009 7:09 p.m. Datsun1500 HalfDork
I say Mitsubishi Precis, it will sound like it has Japanese reliability when it is in fact a re badged Hyundai Excel.....
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June 25, 2009 7:40 p.m. shuttlepilot New Reader
Datsun1500 wrote:
I say Mitsubishi Precis, it will sound like it has Japanese reliability when it is in fact a re badged Hyundai Excel.....
damn, i read that as Mitsubishi Feces for a second there.
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June 25, 2009 7:45 p.m. Woody SuperDork
Any French car.
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June 25, 2009 8:00 p.m. aussiesmg Dork
I hate to say it but early Mercury Capri convertibles.
Rushed to market with no budget they were horrific, by the end of the run the XR2 turbos were OK but the damage was done.
