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A little late, but here are a few good atheist related contributions:
http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/cc_insider/2008/09/colberts-8-best.html
I particularly enjoy the question:
"What do atheists say in bed?, Ohhh nothingness, Ohhh Science...."
Interestingly enough, the atheists are really the only ones allowed to use "Oh God", since it it "technically" not allowed by most (all?) Christians.
ooooh yeahhh!!
What do atheists say in bed?
'Of course you can do that. Since there's no God, it's not against God's will.' 
'Now, if you just put this here and that there, then I can put this... ohhhyeahhh.....!' 
'Oh, wow, that was great. Do that AGAIN!' 
I just say...
"My goddess!"
I usually say her name.
NYG95GA wrote:I just called my gambling friend in Vegas, where they will bet on anything.
He said they are watching this thread, and that the odds were 3:1 in favor of SVRex on the theological board, but the odds of an overall winner was dead even, which of course means a useless bet to start with.
Nevertheless, I've got a C note on SVRex.
Wow, I'm in Vegas!
I'm sure the dead even ending is likely, at least in this thread. Of course, the eternal ending is unlikely to be even.
Oddsmakers: If there is no God, the consequences of my being wrong are rather insignificant. Of course, if there IS a God...
Keep that C-note out there. My brain needed a couple of days off, but I'll be back.
Nobody's told me to go away yet.
Of course, if there IS a God...
Then you have to hope for a good one. Ra and that sociopath from old testament would suck. The one that looked like a soft drink from Futurama would be cool though.
I dunno. Loki might be fun if a little unpredictable.
I got my fingers crossed for spending an eternity with Senna, the god of F1.
SVreX wrote:
Oddsmakers: If there is no God, the consequences of my being wrong are rather insignificant. Of course, if there IS a God...
There was a famous mathematician during the middle ages or renaissance who decided to become Christian based on that idea. That statistically speaking, infinite reward or infinite punishment, even on the slimmest possibility still makes an infinite argument.
However, his formula was based on only one possibility for a god.
I had a friend who, using the same formula, determined it was wisest to be agnostic. God's have historically been shown to get more pissed at people who worshiped the wrong god, than at people who did not worship any god. Therefore, given the broad range of pantheons, the smartest thing you can do, is to offend the fewest number of gods.
Salanis wrote:SVreX wrote:
Oddsmakers: If there is no God, the consequences of my being wrong are rather insignificant. Of course, if there IS a God...
There was a famous mathematician during the middle ages or renaissance who decided to become Christian based on that idea. That statistically speaking, infinite reward or infinite punishment, even on the slimmest possibility still makes an infinite argument.
However, his formula was based on only one possibility for a god.
I had a friend who, using the same formula, determined it was wisest to be agnostic. God's have historically been shown to get more pissed at people who worshiped the wrong god, than at people who did not worship any god. Therefore, given the broad range of pantheons, the smartest thing you can do, is to offend the fewest number of gods.
My problem with this is summed up in one word: Choice. You cannot choose what you believe. If I could choose to believe that God is real, I would. I can certainly SAY that I believe in God - I could just tell everybody that I meet about the "Good News", but that does not mean that I actually believe in God.
If you don't follow my logic here, try it with Santa. Believe in Santa. Right now. Do it. You say to me "Well, I don't believe in Santa because he's not real." OK, but Believe in him anyway. Choose to believe in Santa. But actually believe he's real - you cannot trick your own mind - don't tell me you do if you don't, but actually believe in him. See? Children believe in him because they don't see any reason why he's not real. As soon as they find out he's imaginary BAM! that's it. No more believing.
Salanis wrote:There was a famous mathematician during the middle ages or renaissance who decided to become Christian based on that idea. That statistically speaking, infinite reward or infinite punishment, even on the slimmest possibility still makes an infinite argument.
It's called Pascal's wager.
I mentioned Pascal back on page 3 or something. He was much more than a mathmatican. A great writer and scholar. Your premise is correct, but it was more complex than simple statistics.
I think he either discovered or had something to do with explaining the power of vaccumm, or discovered atmospheric pressure? as well as many religious writings.
-James
Not to mention the cool programming language... probably as dead as he is at this point.
Tee hee
EastCoastMojo wrote:Tee hee
If you like that, try this.
Ugh. LOLspeak gives me a headache, but I do like the pictures of the cats.
I'm glad this thread devolved into silliness, instead of angry name calling.
BTW, most of you are going to hell.
Well, duh.
I have to say hell is going to be a berkeleying blast. Everyone I know is going to be there. We're going to have rock and roll, beer and hot rods. And all the kinky sex you want. I mean, seriously. You better make your reservations now, before it's too late!
anyone else notice that most of these are agnostic quotes... not atheist.
Nevertheless, I found them to be really fkn awesome.
EastCoastMojo wrote:Well, duh.
I have to say hell is going to be a berkeleying blast. Everyone I know is going to be there. We're going to have rock and roll, beer and hot rods. And all the kinky sex you want. I mean, seriously. You better make your reservations now, before it's too late!
Sent my entry form in already.
Jensenman and I will have endless demolition derbies with all of our past customer's cars.
Yep, hell will be bitchin'.
ddavidv wrote:Jensenman and I will have endless demolition derbies with all of our past customer's cars.
Yep, hell will be bitchin'.
Shhhh: we don't want the REALLY good stuff getting out now do we?
I know it's often the sign of a troll to revive an old thread..
But I just wanted to breathe a sigh of relief that I'm not the only atheist here. I already get a ton of grief from my racing buddies for being a liberal, and an equal amount from my liberal buddies for being a gearhead! If I had a dollar for every time I've explained that a high performance engine is a clean one (.."hydrocarbons are unburnt fuel-and unburnt fuel is a loss of power! I LIKE more power!.."), I could buy a 962. Well, one in boxes, anyway. 
And a big thanks to most of the theists here for trying to understand us. You guys are much more polite than most of the folks I meet on the street.
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." -Thomas Jefferson
Jensenman wrote:What do atheists say in bed?
'Of course you can do that. Since there's no God, it's not against God's will.'
'Now, if you just put this here and that there, then I can put this... ohhhyeahhh.....!'
'Oh, wow, that was great. Do that AGAIN!'
Personally, I think that if you or your partner can still form words, you're not doing it right..
I'm kinda glad you revived it.
Maybe I'll get back in good favor with the oddsmakers! 
