can slam a revolving door
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:41 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:47 p.m. maroon92 SuperDork
(sigh)
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin behind his beard, only another fist.
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:49 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
most boys can pee their name in the snow. Chuck norris can pee his name in a concrete sidewalk...in the dark... in a hurricane...on the moon
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:52 p.m. 93celicaGT2 Reader
Shaves with a steak knife and peanut butter. (Oh wait, i think that's Vin Diesel.)
Chuck norris doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd.
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:55 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
Chuck norris lost his virginity before his father did
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:57 p.m. stumpmj Dork
Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:57 p.m. confuZion3 Dork
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't lift himself off the ground, he pushes the ground away from him.
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:58 p.m. confuZion3 Dork
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Jan. 29, 2009 2:59 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
Chuck norris can believe its not butter!
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Jan. 29, 2009 3:00 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
chuck norris can beat a brick wall in tennis
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Jan. 29, 2009 3:02 p.m. confuZion3 Dork
God created Adam, and then Eve from Adam's rib. Chuck Norris supervised the procedure.
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Jan. 29, 2009 3:05 p.m. 93celicaGT2 Reader
Chuck Norris can type "ยข"
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:03 p.m. pigeon Reader
Chuck Norris doesn't blend
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:24 p.m. mtn Dork
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:29 p.m. Tommy Suddard SonDork
Chuck Norris invented hamburger when he threw a cow through a chain link fence. Chuck Norris doesn't turn on a light, he shuts off the dark. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he asks for a pistol and a 5-gallon bucket.
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:30 p.m. Tommy Suddard SonDork
Forgot one:
Chuck Norris once kicked a McDonalds so hard, it became a Wendy's.
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:35 p.m. Salanis UltraDork
If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:45 p.m. gubby New Reader
Obama did not start saying "Yes we can!" until after he obtained permission from Chuck Norris.
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Jan. 29, 2009 4:55 p.m. Goldmember New Reader
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Jan. 29, 2009 5:24 p.m. aussiesmg Dork
Chuck Norris standing next to a Sherman tank is like P71 standing next to a Miata.......
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Jan. 29, 2009 7:46 p.m. mel_horn HalfDork
When Chuck Norris was young, he used to burn insects' wings off with a magnifying glass.
At night.
(DISCLAIMER: Not original. Remembered it from a previous GRM post. Chuck Norris made me post that.)
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Jan. 29, 2009 8:03 p.m. amaff HalfDork
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Some say that his tears cure cancer. It's a shame that he's never cried. All we know is, he's called Chuck Norris!
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Jan. 29, 2009 8:21 p.m. rustyvw HalfDork
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he urinates.
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Jan. 29, 2009 10:34 p.m. wherethefmi2000 Reader
Chuck Norris farted and caused hurricane katrina. Boo yah!!!
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Jan. 29, 2009 10:48 p.m. mtn Dork
Chuck Norris taught the Stig everything he know's.
