Coaching youth sports

I think the kids appreciate the souvenir.

As an example, my oldest son scored his first goal last year as well. The coach gave him the puck, and also the score sheet after the game.

He has that puck and the score sheet on display in his room along with a puck from his first season that was given to him after one of the games where his defensive efforts stood out.

You could also try rotating captains. One coach had a stick-on "C" that was awarded to a player for outstanding effort during practice.

Hey guys,

I have a preseason team meeting tonight to meet the kids and parents. A few I know already, but I still want to have them attend. Any words of advice. I want to stress that I am all about sportsmanship and respecting your opponent and most importantly your teammates. I'm hoping to keep it low key tonight and just get to know them a little. I'm nervous. Wish me luck.

Chris

Good luck Chris - And thanks for volunteering...

My son is moving from cross-ice mites to squirts but my 'coaching' experience is limited to assisting as the bench coach which accounted for keeping track of who-went-in-last, keeping them from hitting each with their sticks on the bench, and picking them up as they inevitably tripped on the boards and fell into the bench getting off the ice.

The only thing I'll add is that our team used the TeamSnap app to track the practices and games which was a big help... Luckily the coach's wife did the work of getting everything in and kept it updated but if you plan on using something similar, maybe you can find someone tonight to do that job.

My coaching experience so far is pretty much in line with your experience old town. I was an assistant last season for the squirt tea, and mostly a glorified door opener. I think the kids liked me though and I have a few on the team this year. Of course I forgot that there are inevitable call ups that will guarantee me losing two of my most likely best players. Of course I have the luxury of calling up two kids from the lower team though. The head coach last year didn't have that luxury as we were the lowest level squirt team.

In reply to Mazdax605:

Good luck! You've got your priorities in the right place, and you will do fine.

One word- in pursuit of sportsmanship and respecting your opponents, don't ever undermine your own team. The worst mistake I ever made as a coach had to do with trying not to embarrass the opponent. They were a much weaker team, and we had a dominating lead. I told my team we would not be running up the scoreboard on the other team, and to back off.

At some point, everything changed. They had a few hits, and all of a sudden they were on a roll. The momentum shifted, and my team couldn't do anything right.

We lost that game, and it was entirely my fault. I let my team down, by telling them to play beneath their abilities, and to not do their best. My team was humiliated, and the win was short lived for the other team too. They enjoyed winning, but they also thought we had thrown the game. I will never again tell my players to not do their best, and I will never again do less than I am able to as a coach. I thought I was respecting the other team by trying to not humiliate them. In reality, I insulted them by playing down.

So, teach your players how to do what is right, but leave the overall dynamics of the game to the referees.

So the meeting didn't turn out as good as I thought. I thought it went well, but only 4 kids and their parents showed up. I had 12 tell me they would be there. I guess I shouldn't have expected many. Being summer and all.

Chris

Well, the good news is that you probably just found your assistant coaches.

Well one of the assistant coaches was one of the few parents that showed up. The other so far is a guy I know from last season as his son was on our team last year.

I know it's summer, and I wasn't expecting everyone to show, but I had received 12 yes replies to the email about the meeting. I even saw 3 of the kids/parents on Saturday, and they all said they would be at the meeting. I guess they thought it was the other Monday June 27th. Frustrating, but I shouldn't be surprised I guess.

My point was the 4 parents who showed for your meeting are the 4 you can count on for assistance.

Don't trust email confirmations. Do a group text message reminder 24 hrs in advance.

It seems a lot of these people don't know how to communicate at all. I emailed one guy a few times and texted him as well. I've known him for a few years. Finally I called him and he answered. Said he got all of other forms of communication, but hadn't responded. I know I screw up from time to time as well, but this seems crazy.

Also it seems I have two separate contacts for a lot of the kids, so I suspect several are from divorced households. Seems neither are good at getting back to me, but hopefully this will change once the season starts. As long as I have a goalie and 5 skaters I should be good.

Chris

Mazdax605 wrote: As long as I have a goalie and 5 skaters I should be good. Chris

Hopefully the rink/program provides it, but you may want to invest in a set of goalie pads. Craigslist or ebay them--blocker, glove, leg pads, chest protector (optional) and stick. When my dad was a coach there were a few years that we'd drive to the rink with a set of goalie equipment because our goalie was not the most dependable. Yours truly had to suit up 2 or 3 times. Most of the time we were lucky with a reliable goalie, but not always.

The hockey program provides a set of back up goalie equipment in case of emergency. We have a full time goalie on the team now with his own set of equipment, but who knows if he gets called up to the next level come the start of the season. I know of at least 2 kids that would fill in as the net minder if need be.

Hey guys,

Practices start around August 22nd so the season is almost upon us. I've had a few parts of the welcome to coaching youth sports things happen already. So far I have had a preseason team meeting where only 4 families showed up. I guess I should be happy anyone showed.

The bigger more troublesome thing was while at the rink last Monday for a summer skating program my son is involved in I had the parents of one of my players this season approach me. They basically told me little Johhny is awesome, and scored 44 goals last year. they were wondering why he wasn't on the A team instead of the B2 team. They also told me that he's very intense, and doesn't handle losing well. Expect to be yelled at they said. Also he will yell at teammates. I told them I would rather he didn't yell at anyone, but especially his teammates. I asked how they/he would feel about being benched for such outbursts. They said they were okay with it, but he wouldn't be. That's the idea, right? I mentioned that had they been at the meeting they would have heard my thoughts on such subjects. I'm all about sportsmanship.

I also was told that he only likes playing centre. I told them that I planned on playing every kid at every position short of goalie as we have a dedicated goalie, but if someone wanted to try it out I would facilitate it. The parents said he would most likely not listen to me and no matter where I put him he will play centre. This is going to be a challenge.

The parents then told me he's on medication for ADHD, and that he has issues. Basically made it sound like "hey we already warned you, good luck coach". I emailed the co-ordinator of our league and made them aware of this. She wasn't surprised by it, and told me that I have the boards backing as far as discipline goes if any player acts out. What have I got myself into? The season hasn't even started, and I feel beat up.

Chris

Mazdax605 wrote: The bigger more troublesome thing was while at the rink last Monday for a summer skating program my son is involved in I had the parents of one of my players this season approach me. They basically told me little Johhny is awesome, and scored 44 goals last year. they were wondering why he wasn't on the A team instead of the B2 team.

I have that answer:

They also told me that he's very intense, and doesn't handle losing well. Expect to be yelled at they said. Also he will yell at teammates. I told them I would rather he didn't yell at anyone, but especially his teammates. I asked how they/he would feel about being benched for such outbursts. They said they were okay with it, but he wouldn't be. That's the idea, right? I mentioned that had they been at the meeting they would have heard my thoughts on such subjects. I'm all about sportsmanship. I also was told that he only likes playing centre. I told them that I planned on playing every kid at every position short of goalie as we have a dedicated goalie, but if someone wanted to try it out I would facilitate it. The parents said he would most likely not listen to me and no matter where I put him he will play centre. This is going to be a challenge.

Good luck. It isn't easy--tell the refs before the game that this player is not center, and if he refuses to go to his position at the faceoff give him a delay of game. Bench the kid. Skate him before practices if he misbehaves.

More than anything though, make it clear to this player that the reasons he is not on the A team are because he yells at his teammates, gets penalties, and only plays 1 position. Tell him that until he has scored 10 goals at Defense and then 10 goals at wing, they won't even look at him for a promotion. Tell him that every outburst of yelling at his teammates will result in a 1 game delay in his promotion. Because if he is as good as it sounds like (and he may very well be) then he won't get up there.

Also tell him that the best hockey player of all time was Bobby Orr.

I coached indoor roller hockey several years. (It's North Carolina and ice didn't exist down here then). TIL: 1. Keep it simple and help them learn basic skills, like skating backwards and basic puck skills. One of the most fun practice sessions was having to lift the puck over me and pass it to the other kid on the other side of the rink. I had fun pretending several injuries with them. 2. Speak to the parents between periods. Go over and ask them what they see and think. They can be great assistance coaches. I'll never forget the one Dad pulling me aside and telling me I hadn't played his son the entire first period. Oops. Kid was the best player on our team and we were already way ahead. 3. Don't let the kid play defense every game. Force them to change positions to learn what they need. 4. It's okay to want to win. There was one kid in the leagues every year who was way better than any others. Way better. We beat his team twice by playing a "triangle and one" - we only use four skaters in roller hockey). Learn what is a "Box & One" is to take care of their super star.

I coach soccer for about that same age group. I work hard to make practice fun. I disguise some drills as games. I give them fun names. Then I use the "games" as rewards for doing well during regular drills. At the end of practice, I pick a player that worked hard and let them choose which "game" they play to close out practice.

First skills practice coming up on Tuesday the 23rd. Team practices start the 27th. Call ups should be done by September 4th so that will be my team after that date moving forward. I don't like the call up policy. I know I'm going to lose at least 2 of my best players, and can only draw from the lower level.

So this afternoon we had practice at 5 PM with the Squirt team that is just above us in skill level(we're B2, they're B). The coach for the upper team asked if we could have a mixed scrimmage as he wanted to get a look at the kids in game situations for his call up evaluations. Well we randomly chose kids in the locker rooms by every other kid wore their white jersey, and the opposite wore their blue jersey.

The coach of the other team pulled all of my kids aside, and said just play hockey, don't worry about scoring, that's not what I'm looking at. I was manning one of the benches, and we had 11 kids. I would randomly take the first 5 sitting there, and tell them right wing, or centre, etc. No preference, just putting them on the ice. The next time around I would ask them where they just played, and try to change it up so they got to play everywhere. I believe at this level we need hockey players, not specialists. One kid in particular which I believe I mentioned about his parents already wouldn't listen to me if I told him defence. He would just go out and play centre anyway. Not a good way to get selected for call ups I think, but hey what do I know.

Well fast forward to this evening I get off the ice from my pick up game, and find an email from said kids parent asking why he played defence all night, and was that what the other coach was looking for? I replied with a simple "just changing things up", and " The coach was looking for well rounded players". I mentioned that I only think he had 4 shifts or so at defence, but I could be wrong.

Needless to say he didn't get the call up to the B team, and I'm sure it's somehow my fault because I dared play him not at centre. Am I wrong here? I think every kid played every position with maybe my son playing the least amount of shifts of any of the kids, and some other kids complaining that they didn't get enough time playing defence.

I can't win here. In my opinion at the squirt level you should be learning to play hockey, and skating ,not worrying about where you play or how many goals you score. Late in a game I may need any kid to play any position, and they should be able to at least try it for me. I know why this kid isn't on an upper level team, and it's not because of his abilities. This kid has good hands, and can skate, but doesn't know how to play a team game. Hopefully I can work on that, but maybe mom, and dad won't allow it.

It's sounds like you can't win with those parents. Do they have an agent for their son yet?

But on a more serious note, How did the kid react to playing D? Did he try playing the position or did he play where he wanted and leave his goalie exposed?

Are their any articles or guidances on the USA Hockey site about the ADM that you can point to as support for making well rounded players rather than specialists?

I would suggest providing a more specific explanation for why you moved them around instead of "just changing things up".

Not anything too detailed, but maybe explain that by playing different positions the kids understand what role each position plays which will help them as they get older and become more specialized. By playing D their son will become a better forward/center when he's older. He'll have a much better understanding of where he need to be in a given situation if he knows what the D man see/expects/needs, and the only way to truly understand what the other positions need is to play that position.

Even though the chances of any of these kids making to the NHL is less than winning powerball, it appears the parents are not realistic. It may be helpful in future emails to get some examples of players the changed positions as they moved up through the ranks to show the benefit of being well rounded.

Maybe I'm the exception, but my son played every position, including goalie, last year for his Peewee team. This year in bantams we (my son and I) decided he would not play goalie, but skate out all season. I expect him to play most positions in practice and probably in games. My feeling is that knowing all the positions will make him a better player and provide more opportunities for play as he gets older.

One last thing,

Don't let one kids parents affect the decisions you make about the rest of the team.

As a parent, I can say that parents pick up on the "special" treatment some kids receive because the kids parents are able/willing to bully the coach or organization and that reduces the respect for the organization, coach, or parents.

Stand by your decisions and treat all kids equally so you maintain respect and support of you team and their families.

fwiw, when my dad coached at the squirt level he had lines before every single game. Kept it straight by putting blue, yellow, and red tape on the helmets. Not much changing on the fly yet, so he kept track of number of shifts.

I also am not a fan of changing up the positions mid-game at that level. Play them a whole game at every position. Makes it easier.

As for the parents, maybe with this kid make sure that half of his games for the first half of the year are at center and keep track for the sake of the parents? Then later on in the year keep him at the position he helps the team the most in--which may or may not be center.

The answer to the parents should always, always be like you've been doing. Rounded players, finding where they help the team the most, and where you think they'll have the best chance of excelling.

One last thing, I recommend keeping kids on the same side. Left d, left wing, or center for a lefty. Vice Versa for a righty. Not always possible though.

Have you watched this movie? Can I admit this movie cracks me up?

Kicking and Screaming

The simple solution to any parent who wants to coach from the bench is to hand them your whistle.

Parents will ALWAYS complain. They ARE NOT, however, the coach.

Your question, "Am I wrong here" is not very useful. Of course you are wrong in some parent's opinion. So what? It's YOUR team. Don't second guess yourself.

I'd have that kid playing the bench position if he refused to listen. Sit him long enough, and he'll be happy to play anywhere you tell him.

The call up process is all done. I lost three kids from my team. Two I knew I would be losing as they didn't deserve to be at this low of a level anyway. The third I really hadn't had much viewings of him to even form an opinion of his game(he missed a few practices).

Next up I had to decide on who I was going to call up. Of course I lost 3, but only was allowed 2 call ups from the C-team. I had the typical politics from other parents, and my assistant coaches. Also I had my opinion of a kid from least years team that I didn't think deserved to be on the lower tier team.

I had gone to a few of the practices for the lower tier teams(there are two), and paid attention as best I could when we shared the ice surface for a couple of practices, but truth be told it's hard to pay attention to your own practice, and another team at the same time. While going over the roster online on Sunday I noticed a name on the list that appeared to be a girls name. I know I hadn't seen a girl on that team when I watched. I inquired with the league about this player, and it turned out she had been sick, and missed 4 practices. I was told she was a good player, so I contacted the league about delaying my call up(it was due on Sunday afternoon) so that I could evaluate her. Yesterday evening her team had practice at 6:30 so I headed to the rink. I did my evaluations, and was also able to watch the other players again but not while I was on the ice.

Ultimately I decided to give a shot to the kid I liked from last seasons team, and another kid that maybe wasn't quite as skilled as another one of his team mates. It seemed this kid had more grind to his game though, and one of my assistants highly recommended him. The girl I had discovered was definitely on my short list, but didn't make the cut as she didn't seem as aggressive as I had been told she was.

This whole thing felt like grade 5 dodge ball though. Only instead of being the skinny kid with the noodle arm being picked last, I was the big jock kid (sort of, work with me here) making the selections. This didn't feel right. I'm glad it's behind me now. Mandatory coaches meeting tonight, and I believe we will get schedules.

Wish me luck,

Chris