March 17, 2017 10:42 p.m.

I'm not a great cook, but I can fake it with the best of them. Over the years I've come up with a handful of stupid-simple recipes that make me look like a hero to my lady and her friends.

Pi day was a few days ago and I decided to surprise her with a frozen pie to celebrate. Now I'll show you what I did and you can win brownie points too.

First: buy this stuff.

You actually only need one pint but I like ice cream so I bought two. the chocolate crusts work best with most ice creams, and any tub style whipped topping will work. Don't get the spray kind.

Now don't go crazy with your ice cream here. Keep it simple. Fudge ripples and caramels don't really work, you want to keep it smooth and simple. You're crunch is going to come from the pie crust. Mint chocolate chip is my favourite, but this time we stuck with a simple chocolate.

Leave the ice cream on the counter for like and hour or two. You don't want it completely melted but you want in very soft. Spoon the ice cream into the crust, being careful not to crack the crust.

Now cram that thing in the freezer and let that ice cream solidify again. A couple hours or so. Once that's done, spread the whipped topping over it in a thin layer. no thicker than 3/8s inch thick, I'd say. This offsets the ice cream and gives the illusion of effort. Now you look like you've actually made something.

You could eat it now, but it still looks pretty plain. Gotta dress it up somehow.

I used a butter knife to shave some dark chocolate chunks into little crumbly bits.

Just sort of toss them on top and bam, you've made dessert.

Take it out of the freezer 10-15 minutes before serving and it should be soft enough to eat.

It costs like $6, and only takes about 10 minutes of real work if you don't count waiting for the ice cream to melt and freeze again (which I don't) and yet It looks like you really put in effort.

Enjoy.

Brian MegaDork
March 17, 2017 11:15 p.m.

Nice. My secret lazy pie is instant pudding following the pie filling directions(less milk than normal) and using 1/2&1/2 instead of milk.

1988RedT2 UltimaDork
March 18, 2017 9:12 a.m.

I cannot help but think how appropriate it would be for someone to add a politically contentious post to a thread about pie, given that pie is so often discussed in politically contentious threads.

Alas, I am not sufficiently devious to make such a post.

EastCoastMojo Mod Squad
March 18, 2017 9:17 a.m.

That's a damn fine looking pie you made there.

Osterkraut UberDork
March 18, 2017 10:43 a.m.

Were you immediately broken up with once she discovered you used "whipped topping" and not real whipped cream, as a man should?

Beer Baron MegaDork
March 18, 2017 12:24 p.m.
1988RedT2 wrote: Alas, I am not sufficiently devious to make such a post.

Why do you hate America?

March 19, 2017 12:26 a.m.

In reply to Osterkraut:

You can use the real stuff if you'd like, but I find it's the wrong consistency for this.

infinitime
infinitime New Reader
March 20, 2017 7:42 p.m.

@ AClockworkGarage, Sorry to hijack your thread, but I've been trying to get a hold of you, regarding the Bonneville strut bar that you were selling. Unfortunately, as a new member, I can't PM you. Can you please let me know the best way to reach you by email? Thanks, Derek

Robbie UberDork
March 20, 2017 7:49 p.m.

I'm going to try this pie.

My only 'invented it myself' recipe so far is what I call american sushi.

Take a slice of procuitto or salami, or ham, and plop chream cheese and avocado in the middle. Pickle if you are saucy. Roll it up and slice it like a sushi roll.

1988RedT2 UltimaDork
March 21, 2017 9:56 a.m.
Robbie wrote: I'm going to try this pie. My only 'invented it myself' recipe so far is what I call american sushi. Take a slice of procuitto or salami, or ham, and plop chream cheese and avocado in the middle. Pickle if you are saucy. Roll it up and slice it like a sushi roll.

That "sushi" would be far more authentic if you rolled it up with a live goldfish inside.

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