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Keith wrote:I'm going to Shawn's funeral. I want a can-o-Shawn. Although how can we tell it's really Shawn, and not some sort of filler meat? And will there be a best-before date?
With my diet, it's probably already filler meat 
We can call it (me) "Smeat"
4eyes wrote:By law, you can't re-use a casket.
Sure, wouldn't do for a corpse to catch whatever the previous occupant died in from a casket.
Trans_Maro wrote:We can call it (me) "Smeat"
Shpam!
Quoted off the men's room wall of the Wild Turkey Saloon, Fairview MI "When it is my time to die I want to go in my sleep like my Grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car."
Rental coffins? What the hell? My parents weren't at their funerals... they were still "sent out" to the furnace. We were fine with that—not like they would've been there anyway, even if we had dragged in the leftovers.
Keep the memories. Burn the rest.
Margie
When my FIL died a few years ago they had the traditional "viewing" even though he was cremated. The box was press board and burned fast.
My family owns a funeral home in Albany, there are some funny laws. A few really good parties there, but funny laws.
Dan
Marjorie Suddard wrote:Keep the memories. Burn the rest.
Well said.
Thanks to some really fat people out there, funeral homes are having trouble cremating some of the larger fatties.
Apparently it has to do with the fact that once you burn in a certain way, air can't feed the fire anymore so it doesn't burn completely.
The purely practical side of me says to do it a piece at a time but I'm sure there's laws regarding that behaviour.
Shawn
Trans_Maro wrote:Thanks to some really fat people out there, funeral homes are having trouble cremating some of the larger fatties.
Apparently it has to do with the fact that once you burn in a certain way, air can't feed the fire anymore so it doesn't burn completely.
The purely practical side of me says to do it a piece at a time but I'm sure there's laws regarding that behaviour.
Shawn
Seriously, nothing that cannot be solved with a Sawzall.
Viking funeral for me :)
mtn wrote:I like this idea: http://www.kenoshanews.com/news/racing_in_peace_6494145.html
I liked the comment from one of the guys in the paddock. "So they took him on his last pass. That's cool." We are all alike, aren't we. 
Marjorie Suddard wrote:Keep the memories. Burn the rest.
Margie
Heck, you can even be cremated next to the mexican restaurant down the road.
John Brown wrote:Waldo, google whale explosion...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4096586/
I see you ending this exact way.
The video is awesome.
Hopefully no one comes by to "experience" Wally's member. Read all the way to the bottom. Somewhat disturbing sentence there.
Trans_Maro wrote:Thanks to some really fat people out there, funeral homes are having trouble cremating some of the larger fatties.
Apparently it has to do with the fact that once you burn in a certain way, air can't feed the fire anymore so it doesn't burn completely.
The purely practical side of me says to do it a piece at a time but I'm sure there's laws regarding that behaviour.
Shawn
Hopefully my alcohol/blood ratio will be enough that I burn a couple days at least.
Jensenman wrote:Damn right, there will be no weeping at my funeral. I want it to be more like a kegger.
I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on a race track somewhere by the following method: 120 MPH, unscrew the lid and stick the jar up in the slipstream. I really mean it, that's going in my will.
In case you haven't found a driver yet...I'm just sayin'. You pick the LeMons theme, I'll make it happen. Word is bond, homeee.
Keep the memories. Mix the rest in with the patio concrete.
edited fo tr00f.
"And when I die bury me upside down. So the world can kiss my a"
poopshovel wrote:Jensenman wrote:Damn right, there will be no weeping at my funeral. I want it to be more like a kegger.
I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on a race track somewhere by the following method: 120 MPH, unscrew the lid and stick the jar up in the slipstream. I really mean it, that's going in my will.
In case you haven't found a driver yet...I'm just sayin'. You pick the LeMons theme, I'll make it happen. Word is bond, homeee.
I'm thinking a John Prine theme. http://www.jpshrine.org/lyrics/alphabetical_lt.html
Please Don't Bury Me ©John Prine
Woke up this morning Put on my slippers Walked in the kitchen and died And oh what a feeling! When my soul Went thru the ceiling And on up into heaven I did ride When I got there they did say John, it happened this way You slipped upon the floor And hit your head And all the angels say Just before you passed away These were the very last words That you said:
Chorus: Please don't bury me Down in that cold cold ground No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up And pass me all around Throw my brain in a hurricane And the blind can have my eyes And the deaf can take both of my ears If they don't mind the size Give my stomach to Milwaukee If they run out of beer Put my socks in a cedar box Just get "em" out of here Venus de Milo can have my arms Look out! I've got your nose Sell my heart to the junkman And give my love to Rose
Repeat Chorus
Give my feet to the footloose Careless, fancy free Give my knees to the needy Don't pull that stuff on me Hand me down my walking cane It's a sin to tell a lie Send my mouth way down south And kiss my ass goodbye
Repeat Chorus
captain_napalm wrote:Viking funeral for me :)
+1
Also acceptable: Funeral Pyre
For those not near any water.
Jensenman wrote:poopshovel wrote:Jensenman wrote:Damn right, there will be no weeping at my funeral. I want it to be more like a kegger.
I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on a race track somewhere by the following method: 120 MPH, unscrew the lid and stick the jar up in the slipstream. I really mean it, that's going in my will.
In case you haven't found a driver yet...I'm just sayin'. You pick the LeMons theme, I'll make it happen. Word is bond, homeee.
I'm thinking a John Prine theme. http://www.jpshrine.org/lyrics/alphabetical_lt.html
Please Don't Bury Me ©John Prine
Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:
Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose
Repeat Chorus
Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye
Repeat Chorus
Fixed it for you. Awesome song, BTW.
http://s0.ilike.com/play#John+Prine:Please+Don't+Bury+Me:198017:s39078119.10566225...
Marjorie Suddard wrote:Keep the memories. Burn the rest.
This, but at least part me out before taking me to the crusher.
purplepeopleeater wrote:But they don't, they just use you to park bicycles."And when I die bury me upside down. So the world can kiss my a"
This is some of the best stuff I've read in weeks. Glad I'm not the only one like this.
MitchellC wrote:Marjorie Suddard wrote:Keep the memories. Burn the rest.
This, but at least part me out before taking me to the crusher.
Well said.
http://organdonor.gov/donor/index.htm
I just hope that with all my "hard livin", there's something left for them to take.
Maybe I should leave my body to science fiction
