dealing with Stress

I made some allusion to high blood pressure earlier this week.. well, I now know for a fact what is causing it.

I realize that all companies and departments have differing personalities working for them. Inevitably you get a couple who are the "do everything, be everywhere" people who get most of the work done.. and because you have that end of the bell curve, you also get the "doing just enough not to get fired" people on the other.

I tend towards the side of the curve of getting everything done. It is just how I was brought up and how I prefer to be. There is a time to work and a time to play..

Last sunday, I went to the "urgent care" place near me with a roaring headache and knowing my BP was up.. it spiked at 205 over 100 with a pulse of 120bpm. It was no wonder I was feeling ill. While I was there, it dropped to 155 over 70.

My doctor is on vacation all this week, so I sucked it up and kept on plugging away at work knowing I was not far from stroking out and going home perminently.. yesterday I was almost feeling like I was going to have a heart attack, I ached everywhere and even climbing a flight of steps was leaving me winded and lightheaded (I can run up 6 flights of stairs wthout getting out of breath.)

Today, I felt completely normal. Resting pulse rate was back down to just under 70 bpm and my BP was hovering around 130 over 60.. spent all day like that until 3ish when the two people at work that annoy me the most (because they do the bare minimum to not get fired) and I could feel my pressure rising again.

It is a shame to say this.. but for my own health, I am going to have to write these two off. No more will I pick up their pieces and carry them so the department as a whole does not fail. I just cannot do it.

I cannot go to management about it.. nobody gets fired from my department.. ever. In the 12 years we have been open, not a single person has been let go from entertainment... even though the bosses know who are the movers and shakers and who the slackers are..

So short of quitting.. any clues how to handle this without breaking a line and going home dead?

When you find the answer, please send it my way. Actually, I might go for a bike ride tonight. That helps.

Start swinging a baseball bat around the office.

http://youtu.be/k0D_pug7RJw

Put your efforts into your sailboat, and become one of the guys that does enough to not get fired

Make it through the weekend and see the Doc on Monday. Then plot a course of action. Until then, get some ear plugs, paint a smile on your face and try to relax a bit.

My tip: Don't hold other people to your own personal standards. Mist people will let you down and you will be the only one stressed out about it. If the job is not getting done, then it's up to management to figure out why and correct that situation. I respect your loyalty and your work ethic, but you have made the right decision to stop carrying these guys.

Exercise. Ride a bike, treadmill, elliptical, rower, something!

Exercise until you've burned off all your stress and want nothing more than to go to bed. It helps. Take a tablet and earphones and watch Netflix or something if you need the distraction to motivate yourself to work out. You're not trying to break records, just a steady aerobic burn.

You know, the excercisr thing is about right. I bust my ass at the brewery. Hefting kegs and cases and growlers and firkins and all manner of heavy E36 M3 all day. Also lots of running, bending turning, etc. At the end of the day, I am wore the berkeley out. Everything hurts (though progressives less) and I can barely walk. I've never been more relaxed. Now I'm not saying bail on your gig, though maybe its time to start considering it, since its clear they won't take care of you- but find something large and heavy, and move it. Then move it again. Or get a big hammer and a big rock, and make some small rocks. Its amazing how cathartic absolute brute caveman force is.

Don't get lulled by the siren song of catharsis. Venting those negative emotions in the form of violent behaviors just reinforces the emotions even more. It's a vicious circle. http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/08/11/catharsis/

Exercise is good. Both physical and mental. Buddhist readings can make excellent thought exercises, and many of them deal with exactly the kinds of things you're trying to work on: Letting go of fear and anger, understanding that you are largely a passenger or observer when it comes to much of the universe. Just a few minutes of buddhist readings can lead to ours of deep contemplation, which is kind of the whole point I suppose.

JG Pasterjak wrote: Don't get lulled by the siren song of catharsis. Venting those negative emotions in the form of violent behaviors just reinforces the emotions even more. It's a vicious circle. http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/08/11/catharsis/ Exercise is good. Both physical and mental. Buddhist readings can make excellent thought exercises, and many of them deal with exactly the kinds of things you're trying to work on: Letting go of fear and anger, understanding that you are largely a passenger or observer when it comes to much of the universe. Just a few minutes of buddhist readings can lead to ours of deep contemplation, which is kind of the whole point I suppose.

This is so true and basically how I have successfully dealt with problems similar to yours, Mad Machine.

When you ARE home, meditation meditation meditation. My usual suggestion.

Anxiety and stress can do a number on you. Can you use some vacation days?

Alcohol. Lots of alcohol!

But you have to get in shape first. Lose weight and get in shape. The bp will come down all by itself.

Learn to give your berkeleys more selectively. Some things are not worth giving a berkeley about.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a berkeley

^Link above doesn't work because forum is censoring the word "berkeley".

sounds like his BP is fine …other than when the stress hits ( 130/60) … the systolic could come down a tiny tiny bit if he were trying to hit "sweet spot" dead center …

sounds to me like you need to find some way to make the "I really care so I'll cover for everyone of you SOB's" attitude lighten up …

don't know how it is at your job, but when y'all are setting up or tearing down, can you just do what you're assigned and then move on to the next job, and leave the slackers to answer for their own work ? or is it … "get this set up" and the boss walks away, knowing that someone (you) will bust your ass until it's done ?

Unless your job description is to run the world, cut it out. You are not doing anyone any good including you or your boss.

You might need to learn the difference between "Driven" and "Driving". I get people who apply for jobs who claim that they are "Driven to succeed". That tells me that they are neurotic control freaks who must see themselves as better than the rest of the room and who will burn out and become a problem in the future. I avoid this personality like the plague that it is.

I want someone who can look around see the people in the room for what they are, and figure out how to work with them and get them to do stuff they would not do on their own without pissing them off. This is a person who drives success.

Bravo to you and your work ethic. That is an admirable trait. Don't change your professional drive. The working world needs people like you! But you can take steps to reduce stress and maintain good health. They're simple and have already been mentioned here. First, exercise. It doesn't have to be strenuous. A half hour of brisk walking during your lunch break and another half hour in the evening is sufficient. Second, "meditation." I put that in quotes because it doesn't need to be traditional TM with the Ummmmm chanting. When you feel frazzled and about to pop, just get to a quiet place at work, relax, take a few deep breaths, and concentrate for a few minutes on a pleasant time you've experienced, like a vacation or something. Don't let work issues or your coworkers enter your thoughts during that time. Last, don't over- imbibe with alcohol in the evening to relax. That'll only make things worse the next day. Those things worked for me during my career.

After trying those steps and your blood pressure still spikes, then by all means get proper medication.

I'd suggest doing your job and only your job. I refuse to pick up the slack when somebody is berkeleying off. That's the boss's responsibility to sort out.

When the boss starts complaining about the job not getting done, bluntly and loudly direct said boss to the slacker(s). It's quite liberating to be honest and blunt when the easy route would be holding your tongue.

Obviously something needs to change and the problem is not with your work ethic so I don't think you should be forced (by your health) to walk away from a secure, good paying job.

NOHOME wrote: I get people who apply for jobs who claim that they are "Driven to succeed". That tells me that they are neurotic control freaks who must see themselves as better than the rest of the room and who will burn out and become a problem in the future. I avoid this personality like the plague that it is.

Whoa good thing I never said that in an interview...I always thought it was another BS catchphrase that HR liked to hear

I generally agree with Nohome, but I also know how you feel. For me it is a constant battle with my inate desire to please everyone and my need not to drive myself mad. Because I've been in this office for longer than anyone else currently active here, I tend to operate with a general lack of fear - I will make decisions or take command in situations that would normally have nothing to do with my job decription (electrical designer). Management will occasionally ask me to do these things, but usually not. But I've never been criticized for any decision I've made. That said, there are also times when I'll step aside and simply say, 'this is not my job...' I'll assist if asked, but I won't drive the project.

Right now, my office in NJ has been asked to send some drawing racks we aren't using to our California office. The request was made about a month ago. A couple of weeks ago, I took one apart to determine the required box size and gave that info to our office manager. Earlier this week, I had some extra time, so I tore down the other two we're sending. The office manager still hasn't gotten the boxes. Now if it had been me, these things would have been shipped out 3 weeks ago, but it's not me and I refuse to lose sleep over it.

I am a very unstressed person, I actually have low BP and heart rate. I wish I could offer you advice on being as chill as I am, but I think my secret is that I have nothing to lose.

well... as some people stated about getting in shape and losing weight. At just under 6 foot, I only weigh in at 172 (was 195 a year ago) and it is usually nothing for me to run up 6 flights of steps without getting winded. My job also requires me to lift and move up to 75 pounds.. so being in shape is not an issue.

Now that the warm weather is here again, I will break the bike out once more. It will not take me long to get back to my 30 mile days.

But as somebody mentioned.. my "list" at work depends on what is going on and who is working. if it is just me in the morning, I get to do it all. If I have somebody with me, we are supposed to both do it... inevitably I take all the stuff on the far end of the building to get away from my co-workers.

Something else to add that does not come across well on the internet. I am actually quite the introvert. I can function in a group well, but I find it very mentally draining. All of my co-workers are loud extraverted types who hate the quiet.. me, I prefer it. With my co-workers about, finding a quiet place to work is near impossible because the guys who do the least amount of work latch onto those that do it all like leaches.

Like I said, I am going to have to be an shiny happy person, just do my work, and tell everyone around to just leave me alone

Keep doing your work and less and less of theirs. It will be noticed and they'll be called to task.

I used to go above and beyond my required work but they expected it all the time, slackers were left alone. I'm to the point now I just do what I'm told. It's difficult to let it go when you care about getting work done but fair is fair, the pay is the same.

Getting worked up about things beyond your control is futile and as you know... bad for you. To steal from the Tyler Durden quote list... you need to acquire the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

If you can't do that you have to get out of there. A dead man can't spend the pay check anyway.

I'm attempting to relieve stress by post whooring.

You need to meditate & exercise enough to cool down to the level where you can ambush those two berkeley heads together & lose your E36 M3 on them (only you know that you have just been to your happy place and are actually cool & calm & only acting bat-E36 M3 crazy). Really let loose & let them know your not covering their asses anymore, hand them each a roll of toilet paper or wet naps to symbolize they need to take care of their own E36 M3 in order to join the big-boy-club.

And even though my advise should be tempered with the advise that my advise usually sucks.......Please heed your body's warnings, we don't want you blowing the fuse to your ECU.