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  • John Brown

    Oct. 12, 2009 9:45 a.m. John Brown MegaDork

    Dear Abby,

    I am a crack dealer in Columbus, Ohio, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin , is married to a transvestite.

    My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City . I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

    Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

    Signed,

    Worried About My Reputation

  • Kramer

    Oct. 12, 2009 9:52 a.m. Kramer HalfDork

    You used to be able to buy a T-shirt in Columbus that said "berkeley Michigan." Of course, the dirty word on this shirt was against the law, so they reprinted the shirts.

    Now, they just say "berkeley."

  • 914Driver

    Oct. 12, 2009 3:52 p.m. 914Driver SuperDork

    Don't tell her, she's been through enough.

  • OrangeRazor

    Oct. 12, 2009 4:16 p.m. OrangeRazor New Reader

    There are prostitutes in Grove City? How come nobody told me?

    Seriously though, I'm very glad I live in Clintonville.

  • porksboy

    Oct. 12, 2009 6:18 p.m. porksboy Dork

    Where is the brothel in Atlanta?

  • confuZion3

    Oct. 12, 2009 6:21 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

    There is a big billboard advertising "Berkely College" in Pennsylvania that I pass sometimes when I'm driving to Williamsport or Pocono Raceway. I laugh every time.

  • Will

    Oct. 12, 2009 6:28 p.m. Will Reader

    John Brown wrote:

    Dear Abby,

    I am a crack dealer in Columbus, Ohio, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin , is married to a transvestite.

    My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City . I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

    Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

    Signed,

    Worried About My Reputation

    Dear WAMR, I suggest you call your local ACORN office. They can point you in the right direction.

    Signed,

    Abby

  • wbjones

    Oct. 12, 2009 8:26 p.m. wbjones Reader

    Will wrote:

    John Brown wrote:

    Dear Abby,

    I am a crack dealer in Columbus, Ohio, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in Dublin , is married to a transvestite.

    My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City . I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

    I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

    Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

    Signed,

    Worried About My Reputation

    Dear WAMR, I suggest you call your local ACORN office. They can point you in the right direction.

    Signed,

    Abby

 

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