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Login to post Forums » Off-topic discussion » Degreasing...a kitchen floor

Aug. 17, 2011 7:53 a.m. Twin_Cam SuperDork

How to screw up your linoleum floor: 1. Cook pork shoulder in two bottles of beer in slow cooker 2. Attempt to lift pork shoulder out with kitchen implements 3. Drop pork back into slow cooker (still full of liquid) 4. Splash drippings all over counter and floors

Seriously. I cannot get the last of this goddamned grease off of my floor. It feels like I'm walking on, well, grease. I've tried 409, rubbing alcohol, and just now I tried freaking carb cleaner. No dice. I'm out of ideas. Nothing can get that last slimy film up. My wife has one of those Shark floor steamer/cleaner things, but I'm pretty sure that'll just smear it around onto all of the floor.

Ideas?
Aug. 17, 2011 7:54 a.m. mndsm SuperDork

Dawn dish soap? It'd leave soapy mess everywhere, but the steamer ought to take care of that.
Aug. 17, 2011 7:55 a.m. jrw1621 SuperDork

Dawn dishwashing liquid soapy water applied to area then dried up with towels.
Aug. 17, 2011 7:56 a.m. trucke New Reader

You can't get the grease off your floor and your eating food you prepared in that?
Aug. 17, 2011 8:10 a.m. dinger New Reader

Seriously though, it's good stuff. I'd give it a try.
Aug. 17, 2011 8:23 a.m. Twin_Cam SuperDork

trucke wrote:

You can't get the grease off your floor and your eating food you prepared in that?

Hey man, you ever see how much fat cooks out of a pork shoulder? Why do you think pulled pork is so juicy? Haha.

Duh! Purple Power or Simple Green. Didn't think of those. Good call, GRM.
Aug. 17, 2011 8:30 a.m. mndsm SuperDork

Huh I hadn't said simple green, because I'd automatically assumed that's what you were using already. Go figure.
Aug. 17, 2011 8:44 a.m. N Sperlo Dork

Worked in an Italian restaurant. Toasted ravioli is a greasy mess. Get Purple Power, a new mop, and a bucket of water. Spray the E36 M3 all over that greasy floor and let it soak. New mops work best because you need to put your weight on it and you don't want to scratch the floor. Get the mop a little wet and scrub it down like a motherberkeleyer. Eventually it will come up. Rinse and repeat.
Aug. 17, 2011 9:06 a.m. rob_lewis Dork

Orange clean wipes. Been using them to clean off my son's kart between sessions for a long time. Decided to try them on the vent hood in my kitchen and was shocked at how well it worked. Ended up cleaning/degreasing the entire kitchen with them because it was so easy to do.

Gojo makes some, but there are other brands. Should be able to find it in any autoparts store or section of a store (like Wally World).

-Rob
Aug. 17, 2011 10:10 a.m. Grizz Reader

That steamer would work actually.

My mom has one, I've yet to see it not get rid of something.
Aug. 17, 2011 11:42 a.m. mtn SuperDork

Might also want to try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Aug. 17, 2011 11:45 a.m. David S. Wallens Editorial Director

mtn wrote:

Might also want to try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

That thing is, well, magic.
Aug. 17, 2011 11:59 a.m. N Sperlo Dork

David S. Wallens wrote:

mtn wrote:

Might also want to try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

That thing is, well, magic.

HE'S A WITCH! BURN HIM!
Aug. 17, 2011 12:04 p.m. poopshovel SuperDork

David S. Wallens wrote:

mtn wrote:

Might also want to try Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

That thing is, well, high grit sandpaper. Proceed w/caution.

fixed. I finally threw those goddamned things in the trash so my wife would stop destroying things with them. She seriously asked if she could use them to get bugs off the front of the car, which prompted a new house rule: Don't berkeleying touch the cars. Ever.
Aug. 17, 2011 12:18 p.m. Twin_Cam SuperDork

Tried Simple Green. Better, but if I was walking in socks I'd still slip right off my feet standing still. Half the problem is that the linoleum is textured. May have to go the mop and bucket route. Didn't want to have to do that, but it's come to that.

And I second the thing about the Magic Eraser, they're a waste of money. We had a loveseat that would shift back on the carpet and contact the wall. As people sat down and got up, the loveseat would leave dull black marks on the wall. Tried to use one of those things to take it off, it only made it worse, and then took some paint clear off the wall. Yay!
Aug. 17, 2011 12:23 p.m. N Sperlo Dork

Like I said, use a fresh head and press hard. Its a bitch to do, but it is the best working option I ever used. It might even get bugs off the front of the car.
Aug. 17, 2011 12:37 p.m. keethrax HalfDork

We had an entire half gallon bottle of lamp oil spill all over a linoleum kitchen floor. Talk about slippery. Particularly walking into the kitchen first thing in the morning before we knew it had happened. Lots of mop work eventually took care of it. But it wasn't easy.
Aug. 17, 2011 12:46 p.m. DrBoost SuperDork

Yeah, I've had cooking oil on parts of my body, cars, house, wife, and dog that I'd rather not mention. Purple power works.

If that first sentence makes it into the magazine I may have to change my screen name....
Aug. 17, 2011 1:10 p.m. N Sperlo Dork

I don't cook naked anymore.

Enough said?
Aug. 17, 2011 1:29 p.m. 92CelicaHalfTrac SuperDork

Hot bacon grease spatters on your hootus does not a good time make.
Aug. 17, 2011 1:34 p.m. Taiden HalfDork

Media blast the entire floor. The new surface profile should give you all the grip you need.
Aug. 17, 2011 1:35 p.m. N Sperlo Dork

How did you know it was bacon? Seriously creepy, dude.
Aug. 17, 2011 2:27 p.m. mtn SuperDork

N Sperlo wrote:

How did you know it was bacon? Seriously creepy, dude.

I think that most guys who have gone through drunken night cravings of bacon have been through the same experience.
Aug. 17, 2011 2:50 p.m. 92CelicaHalfTrac SuperDork

I think of it as a rite of passage.
Aug. 17, 2011 3:21 p.m. mndsm SuperDork

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote:

Hot bacon grease spatters on your hootus does not a good time make.

I consider it a challenge to cook bacon with no pants on and NOT burn myself. I've been successful ever since I went to the oven method.

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