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  • pinchvalve

    July 1, 2009 10:03 a.m. pinchvalve UltraDork

    My feeling is that once man discovered the twin miracles of fire and beef, all other foods were rendered obsolete.

    Mushrooms - They grow in poo. End of story.

    Seafood: Yes, all fish. They all taste the same, they are all disgusting. Crustaceans, see above. Gross. And Clams and other filter feeders? I used to sell the equipment that dumped sewage into the ocean. I am not eating anything on the receiving end of that! Plus, you have to risk your life in the frozen bearing sea to pull this crap off the ocean floor. Hello? Cows just sit there in the pasture waiting to be eaten. Its so much easier! And then you decide that you are not even going to cook it and call it sushi? Go live in Japan you freak.

    Coffee - A scalding hot liquid that tastes like burnt beans? How did this ever become popular? I'll tell you how, the smell. I love the smell of a coffee shop, but that god-aweful taste. Yuck!

    Beer - OK, now I know I am flirting with being flamed after attacking coffee, but Beer is just not my thing. Again, once man discovered Rum, beer should have gone bye-bye.

  • gamby

    July 1, 2009 11:00 a.m. gamby UberDork

    Tommy Suddard wrote:

    Mushrooms.

    Onions.

    I won't eat any of them.

    The onion thing is one i just don't get. I can understand having an issue w/ them raw, but cooked onions???

    Take 90% of any recipe on the planet and it begins w/ "begin by browning onions". Onions are the foundation of most of the cuisine on Earth.

  • walterj

    July 1, 2009 11:11 a.m. walterj Dork

    pinchvalve wrote: Beer - OK, now I know I am flirting with being a flamer after attacking coffee, but Beer is just not my thing. Again, once man discovered Rum, beer should have gone bye-bye.

    I fixed that for you :)

  • fiat22turbo

    July 1, 2009 11:17 a.m. fiat22turbo SuperDork

    Man, I thought my brother was weird for his dislike of water melon, now I know he isn't alone. That thought scares me.

    Seriously, Bacon? WTF? I love the stuff, of course it doesn't love me. So like a recovering alcoholic I stay away from the bacon for the sake of my arteries. The sole exception to my no-bacon policy are buffets, if they have bacon, I'm loading an entire plate with bacon.

    Cheese is the same, though I don't binge on it like I could with bacon.

    I dislike onions, pickles and tomatoes, yet I love cheese burgers so I either have to remove the "fixins" or order without and hope they got it right.

    I HATE nuts in my brownies, absolutely detest it. It is a texture thing, though I don't like most nuts outside of peanuts and walnuts, so that is a factor as well.

  • FindlaySpeedMan

    July 1, 2009 11:19 a.m. FindlaySpeedMan New Reader

    Pinchvalve said:

    Coffee - A scalding hot liquid that tastes like burnt beans? How did this ever become popular? I'll tell you how, the smell. I love the smell of a coffee shop, but that god-aweful taste. Yuck!

    Beer - OK, now I know I am flirting with being flamed after attacking coffee, but Beer is just not my thing. Again, once man discovered Rum, beer should have gone bye-bye

    See, here's the problem with both beer and coffee. They are in fact disgusting. You know this as a little kid. You take a sip of mom's coffee, or Dad's beer, and you make a face. You decide they both taste nasty and you don't get it, and, technically, you're right.

    Then, one day, someone, somehow, gets you to drink a whole crapload of the stuff. You become Cornholio (coffee) for a while, or you fall down and laff a lot for hours (beer).

    After that, they become essential parts of your life.

  • July 1, 2009 11:33 a.m. spitfirebill Dork

    shuttlepilot wrote:

    Oysters, they taste like metal to me.

    That's cuz they are full of mercury.

  • July 1, 2009 11:36 a.m. spitfirebill Dork

    The folks here that don't like mayo must not have tried Duke's.

  • JThw8

    July 1, 2009 11:48 a.m. JThw8 SuperDork

    Wow, I feel soooo much a part of this group now :)

    Onions, pure evil, I too claim allergies

    Mushrooms - its all been covered

    Seafood - just got back from the worst business trip ever, every night was a catered meal and every night it was seafood (oceanside resort in Denmark so I guess it makes sense) I lost 5 lbs that week.

    Oddly enough my wife says I make an amazing clam chowder. I make it for her (obviously) because I cant stand the stuff, and its one of the few things I've just learned to cook by eye without tasting as I go.

    I'm with Pinchvalve, we just need to have more beef and rum parties (with some bacon appetizers perhaps)

  • poopshovel

    July 1, 2009 11:56 a.m. poopshovel SuperDork

    Fruit.

    Jim Gaffigan: "The pig is the most incredible creature in the world. It can take an apple, which is basically garbage, and turn it into bacon!"

    amen.

  • Duke

    July 1, 2009 12:06 p.m. Duke Dork

    RedS13Coupe wrote:

    But honestly if its not meat (no fish), cheese, bread or potato I probably don't like it much.

    Hey, I have a friend just like you. All the waitresses at the places we go for lunch call him "Meat 'n' bun" because that's all he ever wants - a plain hamburger, cooked to death and sitting on a dry white bun. French fries on the side with no condiments.

    On the subject of "well done" beef - blech. If you don't like meat, just don't eat meat. No need to turn it into cardboard.

    I love food of many varieties, but I just don't dig seafood. Tuna salad, cold steamed shrimp, and fried clams are about as far as it goes for me - none of which really cut it as "seafood". I even grew up on the Chesapeake bay and I just don't like crabs.

    I also prefer salad to most cooked vegetables.

  • 93celicaGT2

    July 1, 2009 12:13 p.m. 93celicaGT2 Dork

    I like my steak to try to run around the plate to get away from the fork and knife.

    Bonus points if it's still quivering in my mouth.

  • WilD

    July 1, 2009 12:54 p.m. WilD Reader

    pinchvalve wrote: Beer - OK, now I know I am flirting with being flamed after attacking coffee, but Beer is just not my thing. Again, once man discovered Rum, beer should have gone bye-bye.

    Rum.... uggghhhh, just thinking of this E36 M3 makes me want to puke. That goes double for scotch. I am not a fan of hard liquor.

    Beer is awesome.

  • poopshovel

    July 1, 2009 1:02 p.m. poopshovel SuperDork

    That goes double for scotch.

    Mmmmm. Double Scotch.

  • Rufledt

    July 1, 2009 1:03 p.m. Rufledt New Reader

    ok - i'm not alone - i also can't stand beer. tastes like if you made a broth of rotten plants and homeless dogs. (please don't kill me beer lovers!)

  • Chris_V

    July 1, 2009 1:03 p.m. Chris_V SuperDork

    Hmm. I dislike beets, especially pickled ones.

    I truly am allergic to onions (either that or they simply make me sick). Which is too bad, 'cause I like the taste of good onion rings, and the bloomin' onions at Outback. but I can't have to much, or I end up vomiting.

    Other than that, I really feel sorry for a lot of you.

  • slantvaliant

    July 1, 2009 1:09 p.m. slantvaliant Reader

    Mayonnaise or salad dressing, or whatever they want to call that stuff. I don't like the smell, the taste, the texture, or the thought.

    Mushrooms cannot be trusted. They aren't really plants, and aren't animals either. I suspect the Martians left them behind as part of some plan for taking over.

    Raw meat - what are you people thinking? Meat should be cooked through.

    Licorice is candied tar. Blech.

    The libertarian in me says, "Eat what you want, and leave me alone.", so I'll leave it at that.

  • Josh

    July 1, 2009 1:13 p.m. Josh HalfDork

    Look, the reason you (in the collective sense) start out hating coffee and beer is not that they are inherently disgusting. It's just that you almost universally weren't allowed to have any until you were nearly adults, and your tastes were already formed. You all remember when you were babies, right? You hated everything that didn't come out of a boob. Then you got used to actual food, and even started liking it after a while. You get to go through that all over again as a grown up with coffee and beer. This is why we have college. You are forced to drink the coffee to keep yourself awake for all the studying, and then you are forced to drink the beer to forget how poorly you did on the exams. You emerge as a fully formed adult who can enjoy coffee and beer instead of whining about the horror of experiencing a slightly foreign taste.

  • 16vCorey

    July 1, 2009 1:22 p.m. 16vCorey SuperDork

    slantvaliant wrote:

    Licorice is candied tar. Blech.

    Oh yeah, forgot about licorice. Who thought that was a good idea?

  • poopshovel

    July 1, 2009 1:25 p.m. poopshovel SuperDork

    16vCorey wrote:

    slantvaliant wrote:

    Licorice is candied tar. Blech.

    Oh yeah, forgot about licorice. Who thought that was a good idea?

    Wayne.

  • 16vCorey

    July 1, 2009 1:27 p.m. 16vCorey SuperDork

    That sounds about right. Oddly enough, I don't mind Jager. I know, big surprise, I don't mind drinking something that's mostly alcohol.

  • benzbaron

    July 1, 2009 1:36 p.m. benzbaron Reader

    I mostly cannot stand highly processed food, something about them makes me sick. I'm not a big fan of organ meats except sweetbreads but haven't eaten enough to make a judgement.

    Other than that I'll eat anything I can find.

  • Duke

    July 1, 2009 1:40 p.m. Duke Dork

    slantvaliant wrote:

    Raw meat - what are you people thinking? Meat should be cooked through.

    We're thinking we like delicious, subtle flavor and tender, juicy texture instead of shoe leather.

    On the subject of licquorice, I concur.

    slantvaliant wrote:

    The libertarian in me says, "Eat what you want, and leave me alone.", so I'll leave it at that.

    And that I can agree with - even if I do express my opinion about it.

  • walterj

    July 1, 2009 1:44 p.m. walterj Dork

    Duke wrote:

    slantvaliant wrote:

    Raw meat - what are you people thinking? Meat should be cooked through.

    We're thinking we like delicious, subtle flavor and tender, juicy texture instead of shoe leather.

    Long before there was fire, animals were delicious.

  • Jensenman

    July 1, 2009 1:50 p.m. Jensenman MegaDork

    spitfirebill wrote:

    The folks here that don't like mayo must not have tried Duke's.

    Again inviting death and destruction considering where I live, Duke's was my favorite for years. Then I tried Hellmann's and never looked back. Pumpernickel bread, smoked ham, cheddar, lettuce, COLD tomato slices, salt, pepper, French's yellow mustard and a generous slathering of Hellmann's- yum.

    I forgot one other thing I refuse to eat: brie cheese. I read somewhere the Japanese don't eat cheese because to them it's rotten milk. I think brie was the trigger for that. Cheese should not look brown and slimy or flow that way. It's not done, put the damn thing back until it becomes cheddar.

  • July 1, 2009 1:53 p.m. Soma007 New Reader

    Josh wrote: You all remember when you were babies, right? You hated everything that didn't come out of a boob.

    Quote of the year!

    I also agree on licorice. It tastes of nothing and resembles plastic rope. No thank you!

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