http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ford_unveils_new_car_for_cash
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Dec. 17, 2009 1:33 p.m. Wally SuperDork
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Dec. 17, 2009 1:36 p.m. cghstang Reader
The ad says it has a 5 speed!!
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Dec. 17, 2009 1:46 p.m. John Brown SuperDork
We're proud to unveil Ford's new vision for the future of automobiles in this country. An innovative concept that fits the needs of all Americans. I present to you the car for the modern age, the 1993 Ford Taurus. With a 3.1-liter V6 engine, a functioning exhaust system, and a working battery, the 1993 Ford Taurus is a car for everyone who can come up with $65 The '93 Taurus was designed by talking directly to American themselves. They told us, "We don't need all the bells and whistles, we want a car that can take us from our mother-in-law's house to the unemployment office and back." But you don't have to take my word for it. Let's hear from some of the drivers who have already pre-ordered their '93 Taurus. Basically, I just need a car and the '93 Taurus is one. I like that it has heat and air conditioning, so my family can live in it year-round. Buyers can also customize their Taurus to fit their life-style, with optional upgrades like working break lights, or a rear-view mirror, seatbelts, and doors that lock. Each '93 Taurus also comes standard with Primus, instead of just a cassette tape of their hit album, Sailing the Seas of Cheese, and plenty of space in the glove compartment for cans of tuna, and cup-of-noodle to eat. Here's a sneak preview of the ad that will be running during this season's Super Bowl. 1993 Ford Taurus 4-Door 5 Speed Stick Shift High Miles but Still Works! !!! $65 Call Greg at Ford 1-8 We encourage everyone to come down to their local Ford dealership today to check out the '93 Ford Taurus. Remember, the dealerships are heated in the winter, have clean bathrooms, and there is a bowl of free candy at the front. Thank you. Still Ahead: Embarrassed Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-MI) calls Speaker Pelosi 'Mom'.
Edited one line to make it bettar.
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Dec. 17, 2009 5:41 p.m. aussiesmg SuperDork
At least a 93 Ford still runs and has AC
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Dec. 18, 2009 10:09 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork
Oh my god, was that real?! I don't care if it is or not, that was hilarious! How did that guy keep a straight face the whole time?
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Dec. 18, 2009 10:10 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork
"Optional upgrades like working brake lights, a rear-view mirror..."
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Dec. 19, 2009 3:12 p.m. mad_machine SuperDork
it's the Onion.. those guys are trained specially to keep tongue firmley in cheek at all times
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Dec. 19, 2009 7:53 p.m. RedS13Coupe Reader
confuZion3 wrote:
Oh my god, was that real?! I don't care if it is or not, that was hilarious! How did that guy keep a straight face the whole time?
If you missed the onion, you need to get caught up.
The onion on nascar crew cheifs: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nascar_coach_reveals_winning
New Apple innovations: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary
Chrysler halts production of the neck belt: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/chrysler_halts_production_of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meiuOQHTsNg
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Dec. 19, 2009 10:20 p.m. neon4891 SuperDork
cghstang wrote:
The ad says it has a 5 speed!!
It must be an SHO then, but there where no 3.1L tauri. 3, 3.2, and 3.8.
I know I am read WAY too far into this.
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Dec. 20, 2009 12:51 a.m. Luke SuperDork
That was awesome.
Also, I started browsing The Onion and found this gem, among others.
