None taken. Thanks everybody for all the advice.
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Feb. 22, 2009 9:26 p.m. Tommy Suddard SonDork
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Feb. 22, 2009 10:59 p.m. egnorant Dork
Just smile and say " You praise me with faint damns".
Bruce
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Feb. 22, 2009 11:14 p.m. slantvaliant Reader
Tommy Suddard wrote
Barbarian Motor Works
Bavarian Murder Weapon
I kind of like those - no insults there!
Don't you love the opinions of people who have no basis for them?
One of my high school classmates looked down on my '63 Belair, telling me that he would never own a used car. I told him that every car was used as soon as it left the dealership. I then asked what kind of car he owned. He didn't - drove daddy's car when daddy let him. Of course.
Smile and drive safely!
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Feb. 22, 2009 11:27 p.m. mtn Dork
slantvaliant wrote:
Tommy Suddard wrote
Barbarian Motor Works
Bavarian Murder Weapon
I kind of like those - no insults there!
Don't you love the opinions of people who have no basis for them?
One of my high school classmates looked down on my '63 Belair, telling me that he would never own a used car. I told him that every car was used as soon as it left the dealership. I then asked what kind of car he owned. He didn't - drove daddy's car when daddy let him. Of course.
Smile and drive safely!
My dad had a 63' Belair as his first car. that was in about 1969, the car had 9300 miles on it. He would tell us about how it had a heater, and if you were lucky, and it was wet, the rear tires would chirp.
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Feb. 23, 2009 12:06 a.m. neckromacr New Reader
A favorite of mine I use on the guy at my shop that drives a G35 is to tell him to look at the first three letters of his VIN.
"JNK"
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:56 a.m. Mental UltraDork
I know you want Infinit Jokes, but start with these I stole from another forum;
How do you make a Focus actually reliable shut off the engine.
What's the most read section of a Focus owners manuel? "how to hitchike"
Why is the country so far in debt? The President drives a Focus
What should the Focus really be called? The Ford fixus
I like my Focus, it's the best, drive 1 mile, walk the rest.
My Focus is not leaking oil, it's just marking it's territory. (althoug you had a spitfire, better stay away from that one)
Why did the chicken cross the road? To push his Focus back into the shop.
What's in the back of a Focus owners manual? A lifetime buspass.
Why were sidewalks invented? To give Focus owners a safe way to find a tow truck.
What do you call a Focus with a spoiler? A pushmower.
Why did the Focus get a bad EPA rating? Because Tow Trucks just love gas.
How do you make a Focus go somewhere? Push it downhill.
What do you call 1 running Focus? A mirage.
What do you call 2 running Focuses? A miracle.
What's the biggest part of the Focus? The amout of money spent on repairs.
What's the second biggest part of a Focus? The engine fire.
How do you make a Focus go a long distance without breaking down? Shove it off a cliff.
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Feb. 23, 2009 12:00 p.m. RXBeetle New Reader
Tommy there is only one way to win this one; you must steal his girlfriend and he must find out about it by seeing the two of you in your E30. However, he does have the right to kill you and wizz on your grave for doing so.
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Feb. 23, 2009 12:36 p.m. 4cylndrfury Reader
a quick shot to this guys pills by accident in PE is always a solid fix to a problem like you have
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Feb. 23, 2009 12:43 p.m. John Brown MegaDork
Tommy, remind him you are featured in multiple national magazines and that he is still a (I was going to write douche but I don't want your mom hurting anyone by have to dig a REALLY deep patio) twit.
Offer to compare facts:
1: BMW drivers get more. 2: Focus drivers most often wear skirts.
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:13 p.m. Josh Reader
<---- Counterpoint of Fact #1
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:22 p.m. John Brown MegaDork
Thank you Josh, and to your counterpoint, remember Race Drivers drive Miatas.
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:28 p.m. Josh Reader
I also own a BMW. I'm one confused boy, apparently.
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:31 p.m. John Brown MegaDork
Nope, you are a race driver that is getting some... I see no confusion here.
I own two VW Beetles...
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:45 p.m. ClemSparks UberDork
It really doesn't do any good to insult his car. He's not into cars...
Clem
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Feb. 23, 2009 1:52 p.m. NYG95GA Dork
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with home field advantage.
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Feb. 23, 2009 2:24 p.m. Salanis UltraDork
If your friend wants to test the top speed of his car at an airfield in the middle of the night, politely decline.
To get back at him, next time he tries to rile you with complete b.s., put your hands in your pockets, and just happen to find your time slips from the last auto-x you were at.
"Oh hey, that's the 48.07 I got last weekend when I was driving the car that I actually put effort into making be mine."
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Feb. 23, 2009 3:13 p.m. Debbie Brozyna Assistant to the Publisher
NYG95GA said:
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with home field advantage.
Amen.
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Feb. 23, 2009 3:30 p.m. Volksroddin HalfDork
You can always buy a car. But you cant buy skill.
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Feb. 23, 2009 3:35 p.m. Jensenman MegaDork
Focus = Slowcus.
Ford didn't think they could build anything worse than the Escort. The Focus is proof that yes they could.
Infiniti = you'll never finish paying for it.
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Feb. 23, 2009 3:52 p.m. Joe Gearin Associate Publisher
Tommy,
Here's hoping your buddy is just a product of his environment, and not a total toolbag. By the way, how does he already have a Focus if he can't drive yet? (Mom's car that he drives with his permit?) It is kinda strange for a kid to have a car before his license unless, like you, he is working on it.
BMW = Bought Myself by Working
Beating Mindless Wimps
Just ask him which is cooler.....
A BMW that you have modified yourself by working hard, and learning things you can use later....or
a 370Z in drag......oooohhh he can get those fancy chrome wheels though!
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Feb. 23, 2009 4:08 p.m. DirtyBird222 HalfDork
If you need a car to help you get some, then you have some problems. For instance...you have no game. I have a friend that could quite possibly be considered the missing link, drives a Nissan Stanza, yet his game pulls him the most attractive women.......baffles my mind
Tommy, just ignore him lol, you know you worked hard for you car and to get it where it is at, plus you don't see E30s on the road all that much. Just those simple facts are enough to make your car way cooler, plus you are the offspring to the creator of this awesome magazine, if he keeps his Focus or gets a G37 he's just running around in the run of the mill everyday cars......
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Feb. 23, 2009 4:26 p.m. Salanis UltraDork
The car you have is cooler than the car you don't.
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Feb. 23, 2009 4:34 p.m. Tommy Suddard SonDork
I think I'll just laugh quietly when he goes about his bragging, and pwn him on the autocross course.
Oh, and order a yard of cement.
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Feb. 23, 2009 4:51 p.m. ArtOfRuin HalfDork
friedgreencorrado wrote:
And if he brings up "first on race day!", remind him that anything can be fast if it has a sqadron of professional mechanics working on it all week long.
You can change "First On Race Day" to "berkeleyed On Race Day."
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Feb. 23, 2009 11:04 p.m. gamby UberDork
Tommy--
When you're older, you'll realize what an absolute jackass this kid is being.
One day, his parents' net worth won't define him and he'll be left wondering why he can't buy that G37 himself.
Old cars make for great stories. Expensive new cars that you parents bought don't have the same charm. Hard not to come across as a complete jackknob when bargging about something your parents handed to you.
Your car is cooler--period.
