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Login to post Forums » Off-topic discussion » LOL PRICELESS!

Dec. 22, 2009 9:19 a.m. Spinout007 HalfDork

Iranian Air Defense controller: "Unidentified aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace without authorization."

Reply from pilot: "I am in Iraqi airspace, not Iran."

Iranian Air Defense controller: "You must identify yourself."

Reply from pilot: "This is a United States aircraft in Iraqi airspace."

Iranian Air Defense controller: "You must leave Iranian airspace or we will send interceptors to shoot you down."

Reply from pilot: "This is a United States Marine Corps F/A-18 fighter. Send them up. I'll wait."

Iranian Air Defense controller: (silence)

May be a repost but I thought I would share for those of us that are aviation nuts.

http://www.hotrodders.com/forum/irainian-air-controller-us-f18-pilot-154803.html
Dec. 22, 2009 9:32 a.m. madpanda New Reader

I love the one with the British Airways pilot in Frankfurt too.
Dec. 22, 2009 9:53 a.m. Grtechguy UltraDork
Dec. 22, 2009 10:11 a.m. 4cylndrfury Dork

that thread wins at the internet
Dec. 22, 2009 10:16 a.m. aircooled SuperDork

My favorite:

On air traffic control frequency covering cross country (not airports etc.) traffic on a quite day:

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm bored"

Center: "Aircraft calling, please identify"

Unknown Aircraft: "I said I'm bored, not stupid"
Dec. 22, 2009 10:18 a.m. EastCoastMojo SuperDork

The one with the lighthouse was my favorite.
Dec. 22, 2009 10:20 a.m. PHeller HalfDork

stoopid ameracuns vant de lighthouse to move?
Dec. 22, 2009 11:29 a.m. 4cylndrfury Dork

lol no, I agree that the British one "Ive been here before, but it was dark and I never landed here"...could you imagine the controllers face? bwahahahaha
Dec. 22, 2009 11:34 a.m. RX Reven' Reader

Here is another good one & it relates to an SR-71 communication...

One day, high above Arizona, we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. ‘Ninety knots,’ ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. ‘One-twenty on the ground,’ was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was. ‘Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground,’ ATC responded.

The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter’s mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, ‘Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground.’ We did not hear another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.
Dec. 22, 2009 12:00 p.m. Spinout007 HalfDork

LMAO, I had heard the SR71 one before but had forgot about it. But with my old man being a former Air Force controller I've heard alot of stories. One of my favorites is back in 93 when the B1 was still kinda new, there was an airshow at the base we were on, B1 was scheduled for a flyby, I was in the tower with my old man watching the going on's, and heard him request a flyby with an immediate turn out and climb to 18,000 feet. I was thinking cool, he'll do a low level pass and then climb, out over the atlantic. Nah just at the end of the runway he stood it on it's tail and hit the afterburners, Yup almost strait up. Car alarms were going off for MILES!
Dec. 22, 2009 1:35 p.m. purplepeopleeater New Reader

Probably 40 years ago, on a mid shift @ Chicago ATC I was working A-side out of Madison as a Trainee. Had an Air Guard in an F102 looking for take-off & hr requested a 'Gate Climb'. I didn't know what that was so I asked the senior controller what he was talking about. He said to grant it & off he went. A 'Gate Climb is with the afterburners on. It's a mile long runway & he crossed the end of the runway out of 17,000 feet looking for High Altitude.
Dec. 22, 2009 6:17 p.m. maroon92 UberDork

aircooled said:
My favorite:

On air traffic control frequency covering cross country (not airports etc.) traffic on a quite day:

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm bored"

Center: "Aircraft calling, please identify"

Unknown Aircraft: "I said I'm bored, not stupid"

You made it too clean, I heard it as follows. its better.

My favorite:

On air traffic control frequency covering cross country (not airports etc.) traffic on a quite day:

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm berkeleying bored"

Center: "Aircraft calling, identify immediately."

Unknown Aircraft: "I said I'm berkeleying bored, not berkeleying stupid"
Dec. 22, 2009 7:47 p.m. Mental UberDork

Spinout007 wrote:

LMAO, I had heard the SR71 one before but had forgot about it. But with my old man being a former Air Force controller I've heard alot of stories. One of my favorites is back in 93 when the B1 was still kinda new, there was an airshow at the base we were on, B1 was scheduled for a flyby, I was in the tower with my old man watching the going on's, and heard him request a flyby with an immediate turn out and climb to 18,000 feet. I was thinking cool, he'll do a low level pass and then climb, out over the atlantic. Nah just at the end of the runway he stood it on it's tail and hit the afterburners, Yup almost strait up. Car alarms were going off for MILES!

Tinker AFB is the depot maintence facility for those things. They set off car alarms on a regular takeoff.

One I heard. A new Captian misses his taxiway and the female ground controller really starts berating him.

"AA 1171, you idiot! Now listen to me very closely. You will get instructions to each taxi piont and youwill acknowledge my instructions verbatum and ask for clearence before you move. You got that?"

Of course everyone is afariad to crack the mic until a voice comes over the freq...

"Wasn't I married to you?"
Dec. 22, 2009 8:15 p.m. maroon92 UberDork
Dec. 23, 2009 2:07 a.m. mad_machine PowerDork

At least he missed the cone!
Dec. 23, 2009 2:15 a.m. Appleseed Dork

F-16s don't drift!
Dec. 23, 2009 6:36 a.m. 4cylndrfury Dork

maroon92 wrote:

that will buff out
Dec. 23, 2009 7:26 a.m. Rza HalfDork

The SR-71 quote was from a pilot's biography. I read some excerpts from it and it was pretty awesome.
Dec. 23, 2009 9:20 p.m. SVreX PowerDork

Sometimes I like to just stand near Marines hoping a bit of their awesomeness will fall off on me.
Dec. 23, 2009 10:26 p.m. wbjones HalfDork

In a bar in Subic Bay Marines were actually buying me and my mates all the beer we wanted
Dec. 24, 2009 2:22 a.m. Appleseed Dork

Rza wrote:

The SR-71 quote was from a pilot's biography. I read some excerpts from it and it was pretty awesome.

Most likely Rich Graham. Met him a few times. Awesome guy to talk with. Sled drivers are a breed apart.

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