Yeah, you read that correctly. In my local alternate newspaper, there's an story that first appeared in The Military Times detailing how the "top brass" for the Marines in Afghanistan have issued a "command directive ordering troops to restrain their audible flatus because, apparently, offended Afghan soldiers and civilians complained. The reporter doubted the directive could be effective, passing gas by front-line troops is "practically a sport"."
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:29 p.m. integraguy SuperDork
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:30 p.m. integraguy SuperDork
I apologize to all Marines, as I should have capitalized the word Marines in my "headline".
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:31 p.m. EastCoastMojo SuperDork
So they like church creepers over there, do they?
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:33 p.m. Curmudgeon SuperDork
George Carlin would have had a field day with this one.
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:33 p.m. imirk Reader
Marines: Silent but Deadly!
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:37 p.m. cwh SuperDork
Personally, I don't think I would like to be the guy to tell Marines IN FREAKIN' AFGHANISTAN not to fart. Nope, not me, toot away, Leathernecks. Some raghead has a problem, gee, too bad.
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:39 p.m. jhaas Reader
SBD Dauntless
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:40 p.m. Mental SuperDork
espcially when you consider all of the military in the aircraft over them are pratically giving out prizes for a good one...
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:46 p.m. Karl La Follette Dork
Hey who stepped on a duck
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Nov. 17, 2011 3:51 p.m. integraguy SuperDork
Is that line REALLY from Blazing Saddles?
I ask, because it's one of my favorite comedy movies and depending on which TV channel is playing it it has different lines/sounds. (I've noticed some channels edit the campfire/bean eating scene.) If I ever heard that "duck" line, I guess I never got the meaning.
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Nov. 17, 2011 4:02 p.m. slantvaliant Dork
I don't want to speculate what "sport" will replace flatulence.
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Nov. 17, 2011 4:12 p.m. Curmudgeon SuperDork
'Round here we call 'em Timorean barking spiders. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=barking%20spider
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Nov. 17, 2011 5:00 p.m. 914Driver SuperDork
Ever had an MRE? Ever had food made in 100 person units?
How can you not off gas?
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Nov. 17, 2011 5:04 p.m. BoostedBrandon HalfDork
Jay Hickman had a hilarious but about holding in farts.... I think I'll go look for that.
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Nov. 17, 2011 5:21 p.m. Karl La Follette Dork
its from Caddyshack but who better to run a fart joke than Mel Brooks
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Nov. 17, 2011 6:51 p.m. 64chrysler300 New Reader
Here's another one...
http://www.manolith.com/2008/11/04/battle-at-thunderblow-great-crepitation-contest/
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Nov. 17, 2011 8:29 p.m. stroker HalfDork
Like the Afghans didn't do anything to deserve some well-timed and vicious bowel gas. They obviously are not Monty Python fans for having failed to recognize the admonition that "I fart in your general direction!"
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Nov. 17, 2011 10:19 p.m. neckromacr Reader
914Driver wrote:
Ever had an MRE? Ever had food made in 100 person units?
How can you not off gas?
Eat them for a week and your turds will have the same density as a neutron star.
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Nov. 17, 2011 10:27 p.m. joey48442 SuperDork
I guesse it's all in context. Is a group of marines encouraged to blow ass around a bunch of American citizens? I doubt it.
Joey
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Nov. 18, 2011 4:45 a.m. foxtrapper SuperDork
Centuries old game by solders of all types. As well centuries old prohibitions on farting in formation, or at the passing of an officer and such.
Old, old story and game.
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Nov. 18, 2011 8:10 a.m. rotard Reader
I dunno, I like crop dusting the occasional formation...
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Nov. 18, 2011 11:23 a.m. fasted58 SuperDork
so, on the bright side... belching and hawker contests are still legit, cool
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Nov. 18, 2011 3:29 p.m. carguy123 SuperDork
I just talked to a buddy in Afganistan and they laughed their a$$e$ off over this. They've never heard of this nor it seems, have they heard anything this funny in a long time.
