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nutherjrfan
nutherjrfan SuperDork
9/4/18 1:44 p.m.
RevRico said:

It should be legal to throat punch people who ask a question, don't like the answer, then rephrase the question a dozen different ways. 

ooh ooh you should be a waiter.  frown Try this in an southern English commoner accent.  "well it's exactly like you described it but it's not what I was expecting..."

Stefan
Stefan MegaDork
9/4/18 1:46 p.m.

Parents.  Why do they have to be such a PITA as they get older?

I've got my MIL and her mother here for 2 weeks visiting their newest grandbaby and lending a hand while my wife recovers from a c-section.  They are arguing and sniping at each other over dumbass stuff.  Lots of unresolved stuff from the past that just keeps getting drug up, except great-grandma is 82, doesn't speak English and has started showing signs of dementia.  My poor wife has to run interference and its just adding to the stress.

Meanwhile, my own Mother has apparently lost the plot and gotten irate over an innocent email chain thread about getting us diapers, etc. because she didn't want her email shared on "social media"  Mom, its a bloody evite, ignore it if you don't want anything to do with it, I can guarantee that you've got a ton of spam in your spam box and it has nothing to do with me.  I may have lost my cool and told her to act like an adult and deal with it herself.  Its been 2 weeks and an endless string of woe-is-me, why don't you respect me, yada, yada.  I finally told her that I'm done and I'm not going to communicate with her anymore, I just can't deal with the negativity while trying to manage a new baby, a 2 year old and a full time job.

Dusterbd13
Dusterbd13 MegaDork
9/4/18 1:47 p.m.

My ecu is still in the mail, and wont be here today as expected.  Which doesn't make today any better. Full on dumpster fire. 

nutherjrfan
nutherjrfan SuperDork
9/4/18 1:51 p.m.

In reply to Stefan :

how'd did they handle their kids i.e. you and your siblings when you squabbled?  Use that on them unless it involved a switch then ignore my advice. wink

I'd buy two old sets of boxing gloves give them a set each  and tell them to have at it.  Hopefully they won't but maybe they'll realize what a pain they are.

oldopelguy
oldopelguy UberDork
9/4/18 2:12 p.m.

My favorite "older people being petty and childish" reaction is to tell them that the next person who brings up something that happened between them before they got to my house is going to be asked to leave for 24 hours.  The second time something that happened before they got to my house gets brought up is a month.  

I got an uncle who slipped up at the last reunion a day at a hotel with a pool and when his sister started complaining about it after he left she was told to go home.  

I had to live under the rules of other people when I was a kid,  and I am still expected to respect them as an adult. Just because someone is older and family doesn't mean they don't owe me the same courtesy. 

It worked well for me. The family members in question were initially shocked that I was serious,  then remarkably apologetic.  We now have a "good old days" exception that allows for telling PG versions of old stories whenever a fire is burning in the fire pit or chiminea and the uncle who was the first in trouble is the policeman for it and has a similar rule at his cabin. 

N Sperlo
N Sperlo MegaDork
9/4/18 2:16 p.m.

I can't people today. That is all. 

mtn
mtn MegaDork
9/4/18 2:17 p.m.

A million things to get done at the house. A million things to get done at work. Would really love if I won a million bucks in the lottery tonight. 

Stefan
Stefan MegaDork
9/4/18 2:20 p.m.

In reply to nutherjrfan :

We had a good sit down and chat about all of that nonsense.  My MIL is the oldest of 7 kids, she was born when her mother was 16 and the other 6 kids came every 2 years afterward.  Basically she helped play Mom and didn't get to enjoy her childhood and she holds a huge grudge over that.  That isn't ever going away until she accepts that it was the way things were done at the time.  There won't be any apologies, its what they had to do to get by.  Great-Grandma had to survive the Japanese occupation and she hoards food in odd locations around the house, won't sleep without a light on or on the ground floor if she's alone.  There is a lot of deep-seated trauma there.

The other is that her Mother won't listen to her.  Um, she's 82, raised 7 kids and a bunch of grandkids, grew up during the Japanese occupation, raised kids during the reconstruction, Marco's regime, etc and now she has dementia.  You aren't changing anything, unless she wants it to change.  Treat her like an adult and let her do as she wants and just make sure she eats, bathes and try to have fun with her.  She doesn't care about fancy clothes or purses, etc.

Sigh, I see the same emotional headbutting between my MIL and my wife and our daughter and my wife.  I pointed out that my MIL can't even book a flight or plan a trip without my wife's help.  Let alone how to use her smartphone and she's an RN who just turned 62!  That went over like a ton of bricks.  Lots of very strong willed and intelligent women, but good lord can they be their own worst enemies sometimes.

Dusterbd13
Dusterbd13 MegaDork
9/4/18 3:43 p.m.

My harbor freight heat gun just caught fire.  While i was holding it.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
9/4/18 4:15 p.m.

In reply to Dusterbd13 :

Pics?

wae
wae SuperDork
9/4/18 4:29 p.m.
Dusterbd13 said:

My harbor freight heat gun just caught fire.  While i was holding it.

Every tool from Harbor Freight may eventually become a hammer.  But only the very best can aspire to become a Flaming Hammer.

Dusterbd13
Dusterbd13 MegaDork
9/4/18 4:47 p.m.

No pics. Threw it in the gravel driveway and let it go. Its now in the trashcan at the curb with a large number of rocks attached. Fumes gave me a headache and nausea.  

Ill buy another on lunch tomorrow. Assuming i can get a lunch break. Need it to finish up the window tint and door panel repair.....

dculberson
dculberson UltimaDork
9/4/18 4:49 p.m.

In reply to Stefan :

You gotta love family that comes to "help." I could tell some similar stories but thankfully they only involved one family member not two of them so there was less bickering involved.

stanger_missle
stanger_missle SuperDork
9/4/18 5:20 p.m.
wae said:
Dusterbd13 said:

My harbor freight heat gun just caught fire.  While i was holding it.

Every tool from Harbor Freight may eventually become a hammer.  But only the very best can aspire to become a Flaming Hammer.

That is a built-in, no cost feature.

Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy UltimaDork
9/4/18 5:32 p.m.
Stefan said:

In reply to nutherjrfan :

We had a good sit down and chat about all of that nonsense.  My MIL is the oldest of 7 kids, she was born when her mother was 16 and the other 6 kids came every 2 years afterward.  Basically she helped play Mom and didn't get to enjoy her childhood and she holds a huge grudge over that.  That isn't ever going away until she accepts that it was the way things were done at the time.  There won't be any apologies, its what they had to do to get by.  Great-Grandma had to survive the Japanese occupation and she hoards food in odd locations around the house, won't sleep without a light on or on the ground floor if she's alone.  There is a lot of deep-seated trauma there.

The other is that her Mother won't listen to her.  Um, she's 82, raised 7 kids and a bunch of grandkids, grew up during the Japanese occupation, raised kids during the reconstruction, Marco's regime, etc and now she has dementia.  You aren't changing anything, unless she wants it to change.  Treat her like an adult and let her do as she wants and just make sure she eats, bathes and try to have fun with her.  She doesn't care about fancy clothes or purses, etc.

Sigh, I see the same emotional headbutting between my MIL and my wife and our daughter and my wife.  I pointed out that my MIL can't even book a flight or plan a trip without my wife's help.  Let alone how to use her smartphone and she's an RN who just turned 62!  That went over like a ton of bricks.  Lots of very strong willed and intelligent women, but good lord can they be their own worst enemies sometimes.

The inter generational power struggle seems far more long lasting and rancorous in women than it is in men.  I have often wondered whether it is due to the maternal instinct to hold kids close and protect them, as compared to the paternal instinct of protecting kids by teaching them how to fly and survive in the big cruel world.

Or, in cases where Dad is a douche, are sons just more likely to write them off and build their own lives far down the road?

No sexism or bigotry intended. Just personal experiences.

Greg Smith
Greg Smith HalfDork
9/5/18 9:48 a.m.

Why is it that every year once school is back in session, drivers get stupid on the commute? 

And every year, it is *worse*......

914Driver
914Driver MegaDork
9/5/18 10:13 a.m.

Stefan, went through this when my kid was born, also a CSection.  My outlaws came for too long.  Finally I took my FIL outside and said "While I appreciate your effort in helping your daughter this is our house.  How you treat each other in public or in your home is your business, this is my home.  These conditions and the way you treat each other is upsetting the girl you came to help; so take it outside, tone it down or take it on the road".

He apologized, shook my hand and we had an accord.

Best wishes.

Ashyukun (Robert)
Ashyukun (Robert) UltraDork
9/5/18 12:58 p.m.

Look, I get it- smartphones are cool, and it's neat to be able to watch movies on them wherever you want.

But for fork's sake, PAUSE THE DAM MOVIE for the time it takes you to wash your dishes in the breakroom sink and don't stand there half watching it and half washing your dishes, because you're holding up the rest of the people in the office who have to use that same sink. It took this genius like 5 minutes to wash and dry a plate and flatware, and better than half of that was not actually washing but staring at the phone.

I found myself actively cheering for him to move his head too much and drag the phone into the sink by the headphone cord.

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair MegaDork
9/5/18 3:24 p.m.

In reply to Ashyukun (Robert) :

i'm the coworker who tells people to get the berkeley out of the way because they're holding up progress.

Greg Smith
Greg Smith HalfDork
9/5/18 5:01 p.m.

In reply to Dusterbd13 :

heh. I have a 1300 watt Conair hair dryer from the 80's that I was using to force-feed a small charcoal fire to melt aluminum in a crucible. things happened and it briefly had fire coming out the wrong end.

I unplugged it and thought it was a goner... but after whatever overheat protection untripped, it still works. And now I allow an air gap for blowback. 

They don't make things like they used to. 

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
9/5/18 9:27 p.m.

In reply to Greg Smith :

Dusterbd13
Dusterbd13 MegaDork
9/6/18 8:42 a.m.

The febreeze commercial on the radio with the my best life line makes me want to choke people. I will endeavor to find any alternative to febreeze now because of it.  If i have to hear it again today, i may lose it.

Its even on pandora. Nowhere is safe.

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH MegaDork
9/6/18 2:44 p.m.

What a coincidence, I was just feeling generally E36 M3ty about life for the same reasons stated in this hot-off-the-presses article:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/to-survive-today-you-have-to-think-like-celebrity/

I feel like we're 5 years at most from catching up with Black Mirror's "Nosedive." Today's corporate social media training session sure didn't help.

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH MegaDork
9/6/18 2:51 p.m.

Oh wait I'm not done ranting. Bank still hasn't restored the money that was stolen from the scraped card they forgot to deactivate back in late June / early July. Monday was the final deadline on which they should've restored it. I'm racking up credit card debt now because of this. I give the bank teller an A+ for sympathetic performance though. Maybe he should be an actor and an actor could pretend to be a banker and do a better job than these guys are doing?

Ashyukun (Robert)
Ashyukun (Robert) UltraDork
9/6/18 3:18 p.m.

In reply to GameboyRMH :

Dear god I hope not... I still have not made it all the way through that episode. Black Mirror tends to hit a bit too close to home at times and stresses me the heck out when watching some episodes.

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