Seb took the lead, blew up and dnf. Minor win? Driver of the day.
I have had a lot of Mallört tonight, and feel quite good about that.
Mike said:I have had a lot of Mallört tonight, and feel quite good about that.
I’m so, so sorry to hear that such a tragedy has taken place. If you need help dealing with the ptsd, we are here for you.
(What bar? Past two in the burbs that I’ve tried to get a shot of it for my BIL out of spite didn’t have any)
In reply to Mike :
YOU FOOL!
In reply to mtn :
Oh no, I keep it in my house. I've finished the big bottle, and polished off some airline-sized bottles ofI bought for sharing with the unsuspecting. It takes well to being consumed neat, and is one of my favorite ways of imbibing.
Good Lord. I’ve heard of and seen maschioism, but you are one truly deranged individual. And I’ve spent many a drunken night in Chicago dive bars and I stand by my words.
I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
In reply to Duke :
It's what they use to de-grease the machines that make Jagermeister.
Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
Everything is worse than Jager.
Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
I just looked it up and found these gems of advertising slogans
Apparently it's only active flavor ingredient is wormwood. And while Malort means "wormwood" in Swedish, it translates in Russian to Chernobyl, no joke.
NickD said:Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
I just looked it up and found these gems of advertising slogans
- Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
- Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
- Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
- Malort, the Champagne of pain.
- Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
- Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
- Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
- Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.
Apparently it's only active flavor ingredient is wormwood.
The label used to say this:
Most first-time drinkers of Jeppson Malört reject our liquor. Its strong, sharp taste is not for everyone. Our liquor is rugged and unrelenting (even brutal) to the palate. During almost 60 years of American distribution, we found only 1 out of 49 men will drink Jeppson Malört. During the lifetime of our founder, Carl Jeppson was apt to say, 'My Malört is produced for that unique group of drinkers who disdain light flavor or neutral spirits.' It is not possible to forget our two-fisted liquor. The taste just lingers and lasts – seemingly forever. The first shot is hard to swallow! Perservere [sic]. Make it past two 'shock-glasses' and with the third you could be ours... forever.
It now says this:
Jeppson Malört has the aroma and full-bodied flavor of an unusual botanical. Its bitter taste is savored by two-fisted drinkers.
Should be all you need to know. My friend who bartends uses it to give out as shots on the house to people he doesn't like.
NickD said:Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
I just looked it up and found these gems of advertising slogans
- Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
- Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
- Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
- Malort, the Champagne of pain.
- Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
- Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
- Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
- Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.
Apparently it's only active flavor ingredient is wormwood. And while Malort means "wormwood" in Swedish, it translates in Russian to Chernobyl, no joke.
Now I gotta try it. I'll add it to the list of things to try if I find them (currently the only other thing is Aquavit) I see it as first a challenge, and then maybe a new pleasure. (I actually like Ouzo, both neat and in screwdriver form)
Wormwood is also the "deranging" agent in absinthe, and I thought was illegal as a food additive in the US, so finding some might be difficult. (Absinthe sold in the US is made specifically for US laws, sort of like some other spirits)
If you're ever in Chicagoland, it is fairly easy to find at a well stocked liquor store or a divey enough/hipster enough bar. It is really nasty stuff though. Some other quotes, found on the wikipedia page for it:
The satirist John Hodgman has also adopted the drink in his stage show, offering shots to his audience.[15] In an interview with Gothamist blog Chicagoist, John Hodgman said Jeppson's Malört "tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak."[16]
In Joe Swanberg's 2013 film Drinking Buddies, drinking a shot of Malört is described as a Chicago tradition for erasing past mistakes.[19] In it actor Jason Sudeikis riffs that Malört is like swallowing a burnt condom filled with gasoline.[20]
Tremaine Atkinson, founder of CH Distillery, was introduced to Malört when he first moved to Chicago, he compared it, "to taking a bite out of a grapefruit and then drinking a shot of gasoline".[10]
Knurled. said:NickD said:Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
I just looked it up and found these gems of advertising slogans
- Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
- Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
- Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
- Malort, the Champagne of pain.
- Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
- Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
- Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
- Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.
Apparently it's only active flavor ingredient is wormwood. And while Malort means "wormwood" in Swedish, it translates in Russian to Chernobyl, no joke.
Now I gotta try it. I'll add it to the list of things to try if I find them (currently the only other thing is Aquavit) I see it as first a challenge, and then maybe a new pleasure. (I actually like Ouzo, both neat and in screwdriver form)
Wormwood is also the "deranging" agent in absinthe, and I thought was illegal as a food additive in the US, so finding some might be difficult. (Absinthe sold in the US is made specifically for US laws, sort of like some other spirits)
From what I read, wormwood became legal in 2008, and Malort has an extremely low thujone level, which is the chemical that makes you trip.
In reply to mtn :
I might be in rallycross future.
It is funny how it can be regional... I can't find Absolut Peppar in Cleveland because "the state board gives us a list of things we can sell and they took that off the list", but it is easy to find in Columbus, which last I heard was in Ohio.
edit: What is up with Scandinavian booze? Is there something that happens to your brain when you live near the Arctic Circle, living on fermented fish and rotting sharks and lutefisk, that makes you think "This vodka is nice, but what would be really good would be if it tasted really, really bad!"
Knurled. said:In reply to mtn :
It is funny how it can be regional... I can't find Absolut Peppar in Cleveland because "the state board gives us a list of things we can sell and they took that off the list", but it is easy to find in Columbus, which last I heard was in Ohio...
For this one, I think it is regional not for any laws but for the market. In any case, if I ever see an airport bottle of it I'll buy it and try to send it to you through the mail.
Knurled. said:Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
Everything is better than Jager.
FTFY. Jaeger is all the flavor of chugging cough syrup without the advantage of feeling better afterwards.
Duke said:Knurled. said:Duke said:I've never even heard of Mallört. Is it worse than Jaegermeister?
Everything is better than Jager.
FTFY. Jaeger is all the flavor of chugging cough syrup without the advantage of feeling better afterwards.
Yeah. This page is making me understand why Knurled is the way he is, for better or worse. 
mtn said:Knurled. said:In reply to mtn :
It is funny how it can be regional... I can't find Absolut Peppar in Cleveland because "the state board gives us a list of things we can sell and they took that off the list", but it is easy to find in Columbus, which last I heard was in Ohio...
For this one, I think it is regional not for any laws but for the market. In any case, if I ever see an airport bottle of it I'll buy it and try to send it to you through the mail.
Looks like you can order it online. And you can also order Zubrowka, i might have to buy some.
Minor win: this thread has me laughing out loud at the descriptions of Malort.
I found and bought a bottle of it here in Peoria last spring.
It's missing 1/4 of 1 shot as we speak.
SaltyDog said:I found and bought a bottle of it here in Peoria last spring.
It's missing 1/4 of 1 shot as we speak.
Side note, did you ever go to Stan's liquor store in Peoria? He always had odd stuff like this. He was also the widower of Susan G Komen. Cool dude, I was sad when he retired.
My wife is very enthusiastic about our chickens and I'm very enthusiastic about cars. It works for us. We went to pick up a new used chicken coop from an acquaintance of hers last Saturday, and sitting in the back yard of the house they're moving from was an obviously dead Land Cruiser. I asked about it and went on with coop disassembly and loading, then made a low offer before we left. She responded yesterday with a slightly higher low offer and the rest is history. I'm pretty berkeleying excited to mess with this beast.
In reply to mtn :
I don't think I ever made it to Stan's. I've always lived on the other side of the river, so it was a farther to his shop.
It got a lot of press when he retired, the place was certainly well known and had a great reputation.
I found the Malort at UFS. They have probably the third largest selection in town behind Friar Tuck and Super Liquors.
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