beaterworld
beaterworld New Reader
Nov. 23, 2009 1:25 p.m.

Okay, I've got a friend that wants to turn his car into a luxury-sports sedan. however. the budget is $5000, and the car is a baby-blue 1999 Ford Taurus sedan, with a huge dent in the right corner of the nosecone that is big enough for the space shuttle. Junkyard hounds, do your worst.

GameboyRMH SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 1:27 p.m.

BMW emblems

Big F'in Turbo

Leather seats from American Luxo-barge

Giant gobs of body filler

Rattle-can paint

That's the best I can do

EastCoastMojo SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 1:32 p.m.

Plush New Suspension
Window Tint
One Large Whale Penis (to recover seats)
Drive like an asshat

that ought to do it.

beaterworld
beaterworld New Reader
Nov. 23, 2009 1:36 p.m.

what about stuff from the junkyard? impala SS V8?

Gearheadotaku Reader
Nov. 23, 2009 1:43 p.m.

Spend the 5 grand on something that's not crippled by FWD, and auto trans.

were you stoptheeconobox in a past life?

RX Reven' Reader
Nov. 23, 2009 1:44 p.m.

Chop the roof

Cross over the rear doors so they’re mounted suicide style

Add handles, flags, etc.

Rattle can gloss black

Have GF dress up like Jackie O and Enjoy the bounty of accolades as you drive around town.

Hey, both are FoMoCo products so who would complain

jrw1621 Dork
Nov. 23, 2009 1:58 p.m.

There can only be one answer:
Fourez

More:
http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/only-1-word-to-describe-this/11435/page1/

Wally SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 2:00 p.m.
RX Reven' wrote: Chop the roof Cross over the rear doors so they’re mounted suicide style Add handles, flags, etc. Rattle can gloss black Have GF dress up like Jackie O and Enjoy the bounty of accolades as you drive around town. Hey, both are FoMoCo products so who would complain

Just watch out for those grassy knolls, they can be real killers.

You could try and convert it to the Mercury Mistress

16vCorey SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 2:03 p.m.

Step 1: Sell Taurus Step 2: Buy the nicest BMW $6,000 can buy.

John Brown SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 2:11 p.m.

1999 Taurus, Which engine?

3.0L DOHC:

  • Add manual transmission from 2.5L Cougar/Contour.

  • Add twin turbos from Noble supercar

  • Add wheels from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Add interior from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Add springs/struts/bars from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Delete all emblems

3.0L OHV:

  • Add manual transmission from Ford Tempo 3.0L V6

  • Add wheels from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Add interior from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Add springs/struts/bars from 1998 Taurus SHO

  • Delete all emblems

Gearheadotaku HalfDork
Nov. 23, 2009 2:38 p.m.

Thats actually a good answer

Apexcarver SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 2:53 p.m.

step 1 remove radiator cap

step 2 remove excess parts from garage

step 3 pull in E36M3

step 4 install radiator cap

note, radiator cap may have to be replaced

from someone who as modified a mustang, you can mod it so far, but you will never fully run away from the compromises make in the design of the car without severe compromises of your own. (cant make a mustang a corvette, cant make a taurus a M3) your money is better spent on a better car in your case. (I know, not GRM of me, but $5k can buy a better car then it can make out of a taurus without serious cut, chop, weld)

Nov. 23, 2009 3:19 p.m.
jrw1621 wrote: There can only be one answer: Fourez More: http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/only-1-word-to-describe-this/11435/page1/

+1 for getting the whole adhesive alphabet on your rear window!

jpod999 Reader
Nov. 23, 2009 4:28 p.m.

Slammed and fitted. Do they make Taurus coilovers?

MiatarPowar HalfDork
Nov. 23, 2009 4:39 p.m.

My stepmother has the same car. After driving it a few times, I'm going to have to recommend $10 worth of gasoline as an accelerant, a match, then spend $4990 on something that doesn't eat your soul.... Not that the stepmother had one to begin with, ifyaknowwhatimean.

Lesley SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 4:46 p.m.

But... you can buy a couple, mebbe three, nice cars for $5,000

NYG95GA SuperDork
Nov. 23, 2009 6:17 p.m.

Rename it the econobox, then drop it off a cliff until it stops.

Tommy Suddard SonDork
Nov. 23, 2009 9:08 p.m.

Canoe Cannon on the hood. Automatic V6, so you can drive and shoot.

Toyman01 HalfDork
Nov. 23, 2009 9:45 p.m.

Push it off a cliff. Sell tickets. Buy nice car for 10K.? Just a thought.

Or you could go with what Mr. Brown says...

Strizzo SuperDork
Nov. 24, 2009 12:05 a.m.

i saw a nissan altima badged as a lexus the other day... maybe you could try that

Tighe New Reader
Nov. 24, 2009 12:40 a.m.

Holy cow, that guy is from my home town, or at least very nearby. I see that car parked at the local AutoZone often. Small world.

ignorant SuperDork
Nov. 24, 2009 4:48 a.m.

use money to

  1. buy track car

  2. keep ford reliable

  3. all of the above

Answer 3.

Wally SuperDork
Nov. 24, 2009 5:45 a.m.
Tighe wrote: Holy cow, that guy is from my home town, or at least very nearby. I see that car parked at the local AutoZone often. Small world.

Probably buying more letters

TJ HalfDork
Nov. 24, 2009 7:10 a.m.
Wally wrote:
Tighe wrote: Holy cow, that guy is from my home town, or at least very nearby. I see that car parked at the local AutoZone often. Small world.

Probably buying more letters

Nope, turns out they are backordered due to unusually high local demand for them. He stops in every few days to see if the store has been resupplied. When they do come in and he can buy all of them, he has big plans to cover the entire windshield with them so it matches the rear window.

HappyAndy Reader
Nov. 24, 2009 7:33 a.m.
Gearheadotaku wrote: Spend the 5 grand on something that's not crippled by FWD, and auto trans. were you stoptheeconobox in a past life?

was stoptheeconobox officialy stopped?

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