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  • nocones

    Dec. 17, 2009 7:28 a.m. nocones Reader

    I challenge you to read this chart without hearing it sung..

  • Wally

    Dec. 17, 2009 7:34 a.m. Wally SuperDork

    I'll have to get back to this

  • Gearheadotaku

    Dec. 17, 2009 7:40 a.m. Gearheadotaku HalfDork

    Tim Baxter wrote:

    Now thats my kind of pie chart!

  • nocones

    Dec. 17, 2009 8:06 a.m. nocones Reader

  • Dec. 17, 2009 10:38 a.m. skruffy Dork

    It amazes me that more would-be car thieves don't go to the library and get directions from google.

    I'm also amazed that anyone who makes a living stealing cars doesn't carry a slide hammer with them. Start anything that doesn't use transponder keys in about 5 seconds...

  • Dec. 17, 2009 11:13 a.m. dj06482 Reader

    Some idiot broke into my '92 Mustang GT to steal a cassette deck and equalizer that were both 10 years old. And this was in 2004!

    I can only imagine what his look must have been when he realized that both of the items he worked so hard to steal were worthless. I found them both in the bushes behind the car.

  • Wally

    Dec. 17, 2009 11:35 a.m. Wally SuperDork

    I had my Escort broken into in 2001. They ripped the lock cylinder out of the passenger side door and stole a turkey sandwich. The worst part was that if they had smashed the window with any of the large blocks of concrete nearby my glass coverage would have covered it but instead I was out $400 to fix the door skin. Not to mention the loss of a fresh turkey hero.

  • aircooled

    Dec. 17, 2009 12:11 p.m. aircooled SuperDork

  • sachilles

    Dec. 17, 2009 12:18 p.m. sachilles HalfDork

    I have a somewhat related story based upon"don't ever steal a car while drunk" comment. I have a friend, who apparently was quite the idiot in college. He was rushing a frat, and they got everybody drunk, load up the drunk kids in cars and the seniors said they were taking them to a party. They drove north about 30 miles, and then made on the drunk pledges get out(and find their own ride home). It was late fall and quite cold. He and some of his other drunk pledges get the bright idea to break into a mechanics garage and steal a car from there(I told you he was an idiot). So they get into the garage, find keys to a car that was on the lift. They figure out how to lower the car, and take off in the car. There is a reason a car might be on the lift in a mechanic's garage....it's broken. Needless to say, they didn't get all that far down the road, before sparks started flying, car becomes disabled. Story finishes with them and the police showing up. He typically breaks out the story when someone is being a drunken idiot, as an example of what not to do.

  • Datsun1500

    Dec. 17, 2009 8:30 p.m. Datsun1500 Dork

    A few years ago I came out to find the Durango with a smashed steering column and a screwdriver stuck where the key would be. If the would be thief looked in the ash tray for change (as I would have) they would have found a $20 bill. If they would have taken the $20 (as I would have) they would have found the spare key....

  • porksboy

    Dec. 17, 2009 8:47 p.m. porksboy Dork

    A rocket scientist tried to steal my motorcycle once. busted the cylinder but apparently couldnt figgure out you must depress the clutch lever to start it. So to add insult to injury he dropped it on the pavement and ran off.

    Or there was the story about the lady being carjacked in her own driveway. Thief kept stalling the car when he let out the clutch. Finally got out and ran away on foot. Here's a clue for you dumb ass, learn to drive a straigt shift BEFORE you try to steal one.

  • junkbuggie

    Dec. 21, 2009 12:23 a.m. junkbuggie New Reader

    I have a buddy that has a jeep cherokee that had a bad gas tank. He pulled one from a parts car, it was a few years off but looked right. To save time he just kept the sending unit in the tanks, well somewhere along the line jeep switched the polarity of the sender so when it was fixed it was full on E and empty on F. Someone stole the truck but you gessed it they ran it out of gas before they could do real damage. It was found in the middle of nowhere in wisconsin in febuary. god I love karma.

  • Opus

    Dec. 21, 2009 1:47 a.m. Opus Dork

    nocones wrote:

    I challenge you to read this chart without hearing it sung..

    I HATE YOU

    now where is that Rick Astley CD

  • Woody

    Dec. 21, 2009 7:25 a.m. Woody SuperDork

    I had a 67 Plymouth Belvedere II hardtop in high school. Somebody tried, unsuccessfully, to pry open the driver's door with a crowbar, damaging both the door and the quarter panel.

    The prize inside that they were after? An Audiovox FM converter.

    It would have been a lot better for me if they just smashed the window.

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