Came home from some errands today to find this fella (or lady, never got that far) in my driveway:
Aww, I thought. A cute snapping turtle. Just like a regular turtle, but with sharp jaws to eat cabbage and dandelions and delicate flowers better. And certainly he can't reach that stubby neck out too far, so as long as I hold him steady while I carry him to the bushes everything will be cool.
So, we get about half way o the underbrush and the little bastard hisses and snaps his alarmingly long neck around toward one of my ten favorite fingers and earned himself a quicker trip to the ground than he was probably hoping for.
A quick perusal of Wikipedia afterward revealed such useful knowledge as:
"Lifting the turtle with the hands is difficult and dangerous. Some snappers can -- and will -- stretch their necks halfway back across their own carapace to bite."
"A handler must also be wary of injury; these turtles are aptly named, as they can snap with amazing speed and power - a large adult snapper can easily bite off a finger or toe."
And, when threatened, they "will pull arms, legs, head, and tail into their shell, fire flames out of the arm and leg cavities and spin around like a frisbee."
At least the armadillo moved on.
jg
Southern kids learn a healthy respect for those things at a very young age. Glad you still have all your eye pokers.
Did I just say that?
Gomer is the bigger one in the back. His shell is deformed from malnutrition (his young keeper didn't do any research, instead he just fed him what the pet store sold him,) and his rear legs are badly atrophied from living in a 4'x4' pen. Hes regained alot of mobility, but he still drags his shell along the ground instead of standing up. Due to the deformity, his shell is much heavier than it should be for his size. He seems quite happy though. 
