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Login to post Forums » Off-topic discussion » Of Paintballs and Speeders

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Aug. 18, 2009 4:42 p.m. Keith SuperDork

It's actually similar to a scheme a friend and I worked out a few years ago. Everyone gets, say, 3 paintballs a month. If you see someone doing something that you think is wrong (speeding, street racing, doing donuts on your lawn, parking across a line, etc), you can paintball them. Heck, use all 3 if you want.

If the cops see a car with more than a certain number of paintball hits, they get pulled over and given a ticket for being an shiny happy person.

The trick is the limited number of paintballs. You have to consider who you're going to peg.

Come to think of it, it sounds like something the Lemons organizers might do - mob rule, crush the guy nobody likes for whatever reason.

The safest car I own is the old Cadillac. Because it loves to just cruise at 5 under. I swear I'm gonna have to get myself a nice hat if I keep driving like this.
Aug. 18, 2009 5:52 p.m. Will Reader

I think pointing anything that might be mistaken for a real firearm at passersby is a bad idea. Hypothetical: you decide to squeeze off a few rounds at a passing car. The driver hears the paintballs impact his car and he mistakenly decides he is under actual fire. Maybe a paintball even goes through an open window and hits him or a passenger. If the driver is armed things might go very badly for the guy with the paintball gun.
Aug. 18, 2009 6:24 p.m. Datsun1500 HalfDork

Keith wrote:

It's actually similar to a scheme a friend and I worked out a few years ago. Everyone gets, say, 3 paintballs a month. If you see someone doing something that you think is wrong (speeding, street racing, doing donuts on your lawn, parking across a line, etc), you can paintball them. Heck, use all 3 if you want.

If the cops see a car with more than a certain number of paintball hits, they get pulled over and given a ticket for being an shiny happy person.

Gallagher the comedian said the same thing in a 1983 routine using darts... paintball guns were not too popular then....
Aug. 18, 2009 8:23 p.m. 924guy HalfDork
Aug. 18, 2009 8:51 p.m. MrJoshua SuperDork

Yeah, bad idea. Ive been screamed at in neighborhoods by angry old guys who think a loud car is a fast car. Heck, there is a guy in my neighborhood who glared at me every time I drove by because he had to get his kids out of the middle of the road. I have driven slow in neighborhoods for years. Wave and smile, whole bit. I would have to start shooting back if one of those jackasses shot my car.
Aug. 19, 2009 10:17 a.m. rebelgtp Dork

I have posted before about the one person who has gone speeding down my street. The street has multiple families with kids under 10, it leads to the local elementary school has basketball hoops etc setup along the street. There are also tons of dogs and cats. This punk decided it would be a good idea to go ripping up and down my street on a 250+cc dirt bike at a high rate of speed, also being a full on squid wearing shorts a t shirt and no helmet. After the second pass by my house I went out my front door and yelled at him from the edge of the street as he passed again. He has not been back since.
Aug. 19, 2009 10:20 a.m. mad_machine SuperDork

I guess the part that goads me to go so slow down my road... the worst offenders of the speedlimit are the people who live on it or just off of it.

Who would want to speed through their own neighborhood where their kids and their neighbor's kids play?
Aug. 19, 2009 9:28 p.m. NGTD HalfDork

914Driver wrote:

I think the velocity of a paint ball would make a dent in a car, depending on where it got hit.

I get riled when I can't turn into my street off the main highway because some knuckhead from the other direction is blocking the side street. There's a sign right there "DO NOT BLOCK SIDE ROAD". Some little blondie girl gave me the finger Saturday, I wish I had a paintball gun.

I wouldn't do well in jail...

Paint balls are designed to break when they hit your body (skin). I can't contemplate any scenario where they would dent a car. When they break they disipate all their energy.

The "paint" inside them is vegtable oil with food colouring (and yes that is how you spell colour!).
Aug. 19, 2009 9:52 p.m. Toyman01 HalfDork

I have had pretty good luck with a tennis ball. Nice bright color so they see it coming. Nice and soft in case it hits the car.

The paint ball gun needs to be mounted in the front of my van so I can spray the jerks that pull out in front of me.
Aug. 19, 2009 11:59 p.m. DustoffDave Reader

When I was a kid my friend's dad put a bunch of those big residential garbage cans in the street to stop some kids that would constantly drive down their street at ridiculous speeds every Saturday/Friday night, effectively making a chicane. Well, after a couple of weekends of this, the kids got fed up with it and decided they would just ram the cans out of the way -- surprise, they were full of sand and water. They never came back.
Aug. 20, 2009 12:32 a.m. fiat22turbo SuperDork

DustoffDave wrote:

When I was a kid my friend's dad put a bunch of those big residential garbage cans in the street to stop some kids that would constantly drive down their street at ridiculous speeds every Saturday/Friday night, effectively making a chicane. Well, after a couple of weekends of this, the kids got fed up with it and decided they would just ram the cans out of the way -- surprise, they were full of sand and water. They never came back.

Of course an Autocrosser would stop at the end of the block and expect to get their time through the run.
Aug. 20, 2009 7:47 a.m. Datsun1500 HalfDork

My Grandfather lived on a straight 30 MPH road in a tourist town. The place was dead in the winter so about 2 am one fall morning he built speed bumps in the road on either side of his property. People do about 60 down the road, stop for his first bump, do 20ish, go over the 2nd bump, and back to 60. Solved the problem for him. This was done in about 1984 and they are still there, a lot smaller though....
Aug. 20, 2009 9:35 a.m. ClemSparks SuperDork

Keith wrote:

The safest car I own is the old Cadillac. Because it loves to just cruise at 5 under. I swear I'm gonna have to get myself a nice hat if I keep driving like this.

This one should go to press...

Laughing out loud...at work.

Clem
Aug. 21, 2009 12:07 a.m. Trans_Maro HalfDork

ClemSparks wrote:

I've had some ugly confrontations just for hollering at jerks driving too fast...

Clem

Amen brother.

I yelled at an shiny happy person coming down my street way too fast.

He came back, threatened my friend and I and told me he'd come back and trash my stuff when I wasn't home.

As much as people like to be internet badasses, and talk tough, I backed down.

This guy knew where I lived and I didn't know where he lived. It's just not worth it.

Man, I hate humans.

Shawn
Aug. 21, 2009 3:23 p.m. Wowak Dork

Fire a projectile weapon at my car, and my car becomes a much bigger projectile weapon. Consnider yourself warned.

That said, it sounds like its time for a speed survey. If the majority of drivers are ignoring the speed limit, it is likely set too low.

(aside: this is why I go out of my way to live on a cul de sac or dead end street.)
Aug. 21, 2009 4:16 p.m. AngryCorvair SuperDork

Trans_Maro wrote:

ClemSparks wrote:

I've had some ugly confrontations just for hollering at jerks driving too fast...

Clem

Amen brother.

I yelled at an shiny happy person coming down my street way too fast.

He came back, threatened my friend and I and told me he'd come back and trash my stuff when I wasn't home.

i had a similar situation. so i walked to the back of his car and read his license plate out loud a few times so i'd remember it. then i took his picture with my cell phone. berkeley me? oh no, berkeley you!
Aug. 21, 2009 8:03 p.m. Trans_Maro HalfDork

AngryCorvair wrote:

i had a similar situation. so i walked to the back of his car and read his license plate out loud a few times so i'd remember it. then i took his picture with my cell phone. berkeley me? oh no, berkeley you!

Thing is though, yeah, you can call the cops after the crazy berkeleyer has smashed your E36 M3.

They won't do anything and you'll still have smashed E36 M3.

Criminals have more rights than decent citizens nowadays.

Shawn
Aug. 22, 2009 12:14 a.m. AngryCorvair SuperDork

Trans_Maro wrote:

AngryCorvair wrote:

i had a similar situation. so i walked to the back of his car and read his license plate out loud a few times so i'd remember it. then i took his picture with my cell phone. berkeley me? oh no, berkeley you!

Thing is though, yeah, you can call the cops after the crazy berkeleyer has smashed your E36 M3.

They won't do anything and you'll still have smashed E36 M3.

Criminals have more rights than decent citizens nowadays.

Shawn

two points here:

first, he knows that i have his picture and his license number, which he's probably smart enough to realize means that he can be pretty easily identified, and therefore my having that info is a deterrent to him coming back and trashing my stuff. lotsa people talk tough, even in person, but aren't really prepared to back it up.

second, for $5 i can go to the secretary of state office and they'll give me the name and address of the registered owner of that car.

quid pro quo, bitches. or some other cool latin phrase meaning something like " berkeley me? oh no, berkeley you!"
Aug. 22, 2009 7:09 p.m. porksboy Dork

A friend of mine lived in an apartment complex where people would speed thru the parking lot. After partaking in a few too many adult beverages he got some of his neighbours kids clothes, stuffed them full of pinestraw and tossed it out in front of the next offender he saw. The police admired his sense of duty and creativity but asked him not do do it again. He said they were laughing as they left.

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