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  • John Brown

    Feb. 17, 2009 8:16 a.m. John Brown MegaDork

    So looking for good news today all I could find was bad. Is it that technology allows us to get all of the stories or are all people going nuts.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/16/buffalo.beheading/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

    Man who wants to prove Muslim stereotypes are wrong beheads wife.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/17/washington.barracks.death/index.html?iref=mpst...

    A pair of sixteen year old girls found unconscious or dead at a military barracks. Nothing good can come of this story.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/17/chimp.attack/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

    Drunk monkey jumps chunky flunkie... news at eleven.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/17/china.mistress.contest/index.html?iref...

    Even mistresses are getting laid off.

    What is the world coming to?

  • Duke

    Feb. 17, 2009 12:32 p.m. Duke Dork

    How about this casual reference?

    the story said:

    In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.

  • John Brown

    Feb. 17, 2009 12:49 p.m. John Brown MegaDork

    From Newstados Unidos

  • Tom Heath

    Feb. 17, 2009 1:14 p.m. Tom Heath Production Editor

    Duke wrote:

    How about this casual reference?

    the story said:

    In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.

    I don't know how common this sort of incident is, but I think I met the victim of this crime at the PRI show in 2007. His name is Harley Saint James, he was a oval track driver and collector of cool cars. He was also featured on the Barry Meguiar show. Here's the link. He still looked much like he does in this video...

    http://www.carcrazycentral.com/TV-Show-Watch-Episodes.aspx?VideoID=316

    Take away lesson- Don't berkeley with Chimps.

  • John Brown

    Feb. 17, 2009 1:15 p.m. John Brown MegaDork

    What was HSJs nose doing so close to his gennies that BoBo was able to chew both off?

  • John Brown

    Feb. 17, 2009 1:16 p.m. John Brown MegaDork

    OFF!

  • Tom Heath

    Feb. 17, 2009 1:28 p.m. Tom Heath Production Editor

    It was like a gang of chimps, they were beating/chewing on him for a long time before he was rescued. It sounded very unpleasant.

    Watch the video, I can't effectively retell the story. He's got my vote for worst day evarrr.

  • poopshovel

    Feb. 17, 2009 1:55 p.m. poopshovel SuperDork

    Well hey thanks. Now I've got something new to have horrible, vivid nightmares about. Awesome.

  • HiTempguy

    Feb. 17, 2009 2:37 p.m. HiTempguy Reader

    So looking for good news today all I could find was bad. Is it that technology allows us to get all of the stories or are all people going nuts.

    You also missed the story about how GM and Chrysler are bringing their restructuring plans out today.

    Should be good for some of those "crying laughing" moments.

  • captainzib

    Feb. 17, 2009 2:48 p.m. captainzib Reader

    Hey John Brown, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? I'm a firm believer that this movie is more than simple satire, but an actual prophecy.

  • confuZion3

    Feb. 17, 2009 3:40 p.m. confuZion3 Dork

    I'm not gonna lie: I just voted capt. Zib up on that comment.

  • captainzib

    Feb. 17, 2009 4:11 p.m. captainzib Reader

    LOL, thanks man. I have a tendency to rant about this topic with my friends a lot. It's something that really gets to me, but there is no acceptable solution without violating some basic human rights so I end up just getting frustrated.

  • Snowdoggie

    Feb. 17, 2009 4:24 p.m. Snowdoggie Reader

    So where can I get one of these trained attack chimps? This would be better than a watch dog, or hiring Chuck Norris to protect your house. They probably work for banannas.

  • captainzib

    Feb. 17, 2009 4:25 p.m. captainzib Reader

    Uh, if you haven't seen the Trunk Monkey ads, you're in for a treat. Search google video or youtube for trunk monkey. Now.

  • JG Pasterjak

    Feb. 17, 2009 4:44 p.m. JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director

    God, Tom. I've known you all this time and you never thought to mention that you met the bakersfield chimp guy? You're cooler to me now.

    He even inspired a euphamism.

    jg

  • Osterizer

    Feb. 17, 2009 4:58 p.m. Osterizer HalfDork

    captainzib wrote:

    Hey John Brown, have you seen the movie Idiocracy? I'm a firm believer that this movie is more than simple satire, but an actual prophecy.

    The working title for that movie was superior to the actual title:

    Uuhmerica.

  • fornetti14

    Feb. 17, 2009 6:21 p.m. fornetti14 Reader

    www.positiveeconomicnews.com

    I thought this thread needed some balance.

  • friedgreencorrado

    Feb. 17, 2009 8:05 p.m. friedgreencorrado Reader

    To zib:

    Agreed. I got into television as a career because I was going to stop "Network" from coming true. You all can see I've got a huge dose of fail coming my way..

  • Will

    Feb. 17, 2009 8:31 p.m. Will Reader

    Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).

  • GameboyRMH

    Feb. 18, 2009 6:56 a.m. GameboyRMH SuperDork

    Tom Heath wrote:

    Duke wrote:

    How about this casual reference?

    the story said:

    In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.

    I don't know how common this sort of incident is, but I think I met the victim of this crime at the PRI show in 2007. His name is Harley Saint James, he was a oval track driver and collector of cool cars. He was also featured on the Barry Meguiar show. Here's the link. He still looked much like he does in this video...

    http://www.carcrazycentral.com/TV-Show-Watch-Episodes.aspx?VideoID=316

    Take away lesson- Don't berkeley with Chimps.

    The more I learn about chimps the more I see them as being one of the most dangerous creatures in existence.

  • Jake

    Feb. 18, 2009 8:55 a.m. Jake HalfDork

    The average IQ is 100. Remember that it's just a number and doesn't mean anything real, but also remember that for every decently-intelligent 120-130 IQ person out there, there's a corresponding person on the other side with an IQ of 70-80.

    Fun to think on, sometimes- on the average, people really are pretty stupid.

  • friedgreencorrado

    Feb. 18, 2009 11:45 p.m. friedgreencorrado Reader

    Will wrote:

    Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).

    I didn't even know Brawndo was a real drink. I thought it was a made-up name because they couldn't get the rights to the name "Gatorade". I'll have to go find some just for laughs...

  • carguy123

    Feb. 19, 2009 12:12 a.m. carguy123 Dork

    fornetti14 wrote:

    www.positiveeconomicnews.com

    I thought this thread needed some balance.

    Thanx for the link.

    I'm going to use it tomorrow in office.

  • Will

    Feb. 19, 2009 6:44 a.m. Will Reader

    friedgreencorrado wrote:

    Will wrote:

    Idiocracy is brilliant. I actually found and bought a case of Brawndo a while back and if that's what plants crave I'm berkeleying glad I'm not a plant. In the movie it's supposed to be like Gatorade, but the real Brawndo is more like an energy drink and is the exact color of Hi-C Ecto Cooler (or antifreeze, take your pick).

    I didn't even know Brawndo was a real drink. I thought it was a made-up name because they couldn't get the rights to the name "Gatorade". I'll have to go find some just for laughs...

    At the time the movie was made it was fake, but some company licensed the name after the movie came out.

 

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