I don't have many details yet but a friend and co-workers son decided to take the final solution Friday night. 30 years old and had everything to live for. His parents are understandably destroyed. Seriously people, if things are bad talk to someone. Anyone.
we went through this with my (now late) nephew. When you are that depressed, you see everything as hurting, including talking to people about it. Not that it is going to hurt you, but it is going to hurt them. Simply put, when you are that depressed, you think everyone else is too and cannot imagine anything else.
The ones that talk to people, call crisis hotlines, and such, are still on the fence, know they have a problem, and need a way to be saved. The ones that are too far gone, don't leave a note, don't call for help, or even reach out, they simply end the pain.
That said, I am very sorry, it is hard to come to grips with, but remember, they are not trying to hurt their loved ones, they are trying to save them from the pain they are feeling. Consider it a selfless act of love
Man that sucks. 
I'm not gonna attempt to play devils' advocate here, because the situation sucks all around. But unless you've been down that road, it's impossible to understand. The phrase "Everything to live for" makes no sense when you're absolutely ready to check out. Case in point- I'm 23, hot girlfriend, fast car, good job, everything on my plate, and I attempted. Twice. It took her leaving and me crashing and burning to even get a sense of how bad I really was. Granted it turned out she was a cheating h00r, but that's beside the point. When E36 M3 hits you like this, it REALLY doesn't matter. You just want it to stop as quickly as humanly possible and you're willing to do whatever it takes to get there. It's like the people that are physically tortured to the point of wishing for death, as it would be less painful. That's about what I can describe it to. A lot of times, in cases like this, you're well beyond asking for help. It could be any number of mitigating factors that cause it, but when you arrive at that decision, it's almost a sense of peace- because dammit, you're in control of it, and ain't E36 M3 gonna change it. You've made your bones with the devil inside and determined how you're solving the issue.... it's just a matter of doing it. And let me tell you, waking up the next morning is one berkeley of a pickle to be in. I've never been so confused in all my life. In any event, I'm sorry it came down to this for him, it's never an easy thing to bear as family or friend... you never really know. It's not like they can come back and explain it.
For understanding why, both why he did it, and why you can't truly understand without firsthand experience (I've been there), I find this quote a pretty good summary.
David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest said: The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.
I used to think that was a cowardly act; a giving up instead of soldiering on like the rest of us. More maturity and thought, though, and I realize how absolutely horrific and terrifying it must be to be in that place and in that time where ending your life seemed like the better of two bad paths. The comparison of jumping out of the window of a flaming building sounds like it could be incredibly apt for that situation. It's a blessing to not be able to understand what would drive someone to do that.
That's a very good way to describe it.
The only ones of us who know were the edge is are those of us who have toed the precipice and leaned over. Fortunately, I leaned back. Its a dark scary road that I never wish, nor wish anyone else, to travel.
Damn, that sucks.
My wife's uncle did the same about 15 years ago. I had a few beers and a good time with the guy about two nights before and he seemed like the happiest guy in the world.
Still bothers me to this day, I wish there was something I could have done.
Trans_Maro wrote: Damn, that sucks. My wife's uncle did the same about 15 years ago. I had a few beers and a good time with the guy about two nights before and he seemed like the happiest guy in the world. Still bothers me to this day, I wish there was something I could have done.
And that's the pickle deluxe of it. Most of the time you will have 0 clue. Ask anyone that knows me, they'd never guess. Very few have seen the downside, at all. You get good at faking. The other side of it is, there's often little you can do. You can suspect and reach out all you want, but to anyone that's made that decision, there's often a bit of clarity and calm, knowing there's am end to the madness. All I can say is, if you know someone like that, just be cool. Don't treat them like they're broken. They already know. And if you suspect E36 M3s gone way past rational a simple "doing alright?" Is all you need. Don't pry. It's not gonna make life easier.
You'll need to log in to post.
