"I think I found the problem...looks like someone tried to cram-a-lam a Swiss Cake Roll into the disk drive!"
"I think I found the problem...looks like someone tried to cram-a-lam a Swiss Cake Roll into the disk drive!"
Co-worker: "The welds on these [Trax] control arms have gotten a lot better."
Me: "They stopped hiring the kids with no arms and started hiring the kids with no legs."
slowbird said:"I think I found the problem...looks like someone tried to cram-a-lam a Swiss Cake Roll into the disk drive!"
There are actually two Swiss Cake Rolls "cram-a-lammed" in the computer's innards.
"My preferred motor is a big block Ford, but everyone is cheap and puts LSs in everything...including me."
Granny should just give up trying to cook turkey if she hasn't gotten it right by now. - 100% absolutely not my 11 year old.
"The needler doesn't actually knock the rust off, it just pokes it until it gets annoyed and says 'berkeley this E36 M3.'" - One of our maintenance guys explaining the operation of an air needler.
"would you like a wheelbarrow?"
Me to a customer who asked if we had handicapped carts- like the rascals at Target.
"Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?"
on a reader board.
"This isn't nothin' but silliness and paperwork." One of the cops on Live PD, after trespassing two sisters . . . who live next to each other . . . from each other's property.
NickD said:Co-worker: "The welds on these [Trax] control arms have gotten a lot better."
Me: "They stopped hiring the kids with no arms and started hiring the kids with no legs."
"You guys know deer season's not for cars right?"
A couple hundred pounds of high speed meat bent the metal in one blow, you need a more or less equal and opposite amount of force to un-bend it. - Knurled
"I don't know why you guys are driving all the way to Philadelphia to get shot and/or stabbed. I'll just save me some time and go to Syracuse to get shot and/or stabbed."
Boss- "has anyone seen the forklift?"
(Me wondering if he just meant the key) you mean the key or the whole thing?
Boss- the whole thing.
Other boss- Francis is using it to deliver microwaves to William.
All of this made sense to everyone involved.
In reply to Mndsm :
We lose our forklift all the time. I thought it was normal.
Daylan C said:In reply to Mndsm :
We lose our forklift all the time. I thought it was normal.
It's kinda hard to lose a forklift in a hardware store.
In reply to Mndsm :
I'm sure I could pull it off.
"My car didn't break, I pulled it apart because I'm retarded"
Why Florida?
Because they don't ask questions. They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun.
Let me know if you're gonna hit her, so I can look away and tell the cops I "didn't see nothing".
"Does it count as child abuse if it isn't your child?" - Adam Kovic
My friend: Summit Point is having a track-cross on January 12th. Want to come down for it?
Me: What would I drive? The Miata is parked for the winter. I supposed I could run whatever rental car I get.
Friend: Hertz does not approve.
Me: What they don't know, won't Hertz them.
I don't think "Bro! Dance with my girlfriend while I bowl!" counts as chivalry.
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