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jmthunderbirdturbo
jmthunderbirdturbo HalfDork
4/8/19 1:51 a.m.

"Do the hard part first, then the job progressively gets easier." -My old boss at a car lot I worked at. 

"If your going to bother to do it at all, bother enough to do it well." - My dad.

"The problem with having your foot on a tigers neck, you will eventually have to let it up." - Fast7 I think.

"I'll give it a 30-30 warranty. 30 seconds or 30 feet. your pick." - My dad.

"Always be polite to food service people, especially at a drive thru. They have complete control of the amount of spit on your sandwich." - Me.

 

-J0N

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
4/10/19 10:15 p.m.

"As soon as they invented artificial light, they forgot about night shift."

bustedplug
bustedplug New Reader
4/11/19 7:42 a.m.

"If you 're gonna be dumb, you better be tough"

"Play stupid games, get stupid prizes"

"He can't tell his ass from a hot rock"

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
4/12/19 8:07 p.m.

"Just because I have nice things doesn't mean I'm rich. It means I spend my money poorly."

The0retical
The0retical UberDork
4/12/19 8:13 p.m.

Confuse them with questions, because they probably don't know what they want either.

akamcfly
akamcfly Dork
4/13/19 6:47 a.m.
The0retical said:

Confuse them with questions, because they probably don't know what they want either.

^^^ My life as a planner in one sentence - if you remove "probably".

 

Rons
Rons Reader
4/13/19 9:02 a.m.

From my Dad: Figures don't lie, but liars sure can figure.

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
4/22/19 12:14 a.m.

"Well there's your problem. Music isn't loud enough so you can hear all the noises this worn out piece of E36 M3 makes."

-maintenance guy to one of the other cnc operators after cleaning out the cooling fan cover on that Fadal mill that nearly caught fire a couple months back.

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
4/22/19 4:49 a.m.

Before we work on artificial intelligence, how ‘bout we do something about natural stupidity?

NickD
NickD PowerDork
4/22/19 7:15 a.m.

Relationship is a good ship but a damn poor ship to sail on - Nicholas James Dixon Jr.

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
4/29/19 3:25 a.m.

"We are the Alabama of the north."

My Indiana dwelling friend when I asked if I was about to be disappointed ordering the tea at a small restaurant in Indianapolis.

chandler
chandler PowerDork
4/29/19 5:47 p.m.

Passed a gun store in Indiana yesterday on the way home from the Draft that had a huge banner out front that said “we sell ARs...because we aren’t Dick’s” 

 

niiice

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
4/30/19 9:20 a.m.

Had a particularly gross plumber working for me once in a ditch with a live broken sewer line. 

He said, “I don’t know what the big deal is. An hour ago it was hamburger”

KyAllroad (Jeremy)
KyAllroad (Jeremy) UltimaDork
5/2/19 8:09 a.m.

Stress is when you can't do what you know needs to be done, usually because the "law" says so.

Lawyers are responsible for the chickenE36 M3 laws that we live under.

Therefore lawyers are responsible for the majority of stress.

Want a healthier, happier society?  Kill all the berkeleying lawyers first.

Wally
Wally MegaDork
5/7/19 7:32 a.m.

These upstate New York cities look like model train towns with an opioid problem 

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
5/7/19 7:35 a.m.

"You can't fish tuna in E-town!"

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
5/7/19 8:12 a.m.

Manager: "You've all done really well eliminating un-ticketed work. (Then, serveral points later)  Customer satisfaction is down."
Literally everybody: "That's because we won't work on anything without a ticket."

 

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
5/9/19 2:35 p.m.

My teenage son: "If I ever have to fight an anti-vaxxer's kid, I'm licking my hands first for bonus damage."

 

mtn
mtn MegaDork
5/9/19 2:52 p.m.

"I can afford anything I want, I can't afford everything I want"

Dusterbd13-michael
Dusterbd13-michael MegaDork
5/9/19 8:37 p.m.

" if you ever have to choose between learning and inspiration, boy, choose learning. It works more of the time" -leo graf, falling free

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
5/16/19 4:07 p.m.

"You how you treat that right? Soak it in alchohol...from the inside."

Old manager referring to the cut above my eye I got during the course of a brake job I was 100% done with. 

ddavidv
ddavidv PowerDork
5/17/19 6:21 a.m.

"Untainted by technology" -- Royal Enfield motorcycle advert.

"There's this thing called books. It's like TV for smart people." -- Bill Bryson

The following are Tweets I've saved.

" Taking life advice from 20 year olds is like asking for sex tips from virgins. "

" Calm is a superpower"

" Give the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate your presence. "

" Marry an asset, not a liability. "

kazoospec
kazoospec UltraDork
6/7/19 3:49 p.m.

The trail to the top of Everest is littered with the frozen corpses of once highly confident people.

RX Reven' - In the Mt. Everest thread.

 

It just has so many other applications.

JohnInKansas
JohnInKansas SuperDork
6/7/19 4:06 p.m.

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
6/7/19 7:07 p.m.

Not inspirational or anything, but I got a new IR thermometer gun. I of course, pointed it at SWMBOS booty, because, you know I'm 12. She asked me what the hell I was doing. I said "Your ass is hot". She turned bright red, i laughed, it was fun for the whole family. 

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