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Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
6/20/19 3:11 a.m.

"There was 3 polar bears in the club. I don't know how they got in there but I'm glad I got out. No more questions."

chandler
chandler PowerDork
6/20/19 6:22 p.m.

I drove by a church this morning who’s reader board  read “Ark plans inside”. As much rain as we’ve had I thought it was perfect.

slowbird
slowbird New Reader
6/20/19 6:42 p.m.

From Rocko's Modern Life: "If the job's worth doing, it's worth doing adequately."

Torkel
Torkel Reader
6/21/19 7:28 a.m.

In reply to RevRico :

Fun fact: This is not taken out of thin air. The official driver of Koenigsegg: Robert Serwanski, has won the (roughly) Swedish equivalent to Spec Miata several times.

RX8driver
RX8driver Reader
6/21/19 7:45 a.m.

One of my favourites: "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy" - Red Green

wheelsmithy
wheelsmithy SuperDork
6/21/19 7:59 a.m.

"No good deed goes unpunished" -my Dad

Karacticus
Karacticus Dork
6/21/19 8:11 a.m.

"There's no amount of good you can't do in this world if you're willing to let someone else take the credit for it."

Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
6/21/19 12:09 p.m.

"Testing has shown that a 100 shot from a mother bottle will last almost 3 miles. That poor 305...

Did you run out of nitrous or pistons?

It melted 5. 5 pistons not cylinder 5."

 

An exchange between me and the guy that talked me into buying Humphrey.

ddavidv
ddavidv PowerDork
6/22/19 6:16 a.m.

"I love the fact that we can actively change ourselves but I hate the idea that it's squandered by 99 percent of the population." -- Adam Carolla

Knurled.
Knurled. MegaDork
6/22/19 6:52 a.m.
Daylan C said:

"You how you treat that right? Soak it in alchohol...from the inside."

Old manager referring to the cut above my eye I got during the course of a brake job I was 100% done with. 

I mashed my thumb hard at work the other day.  One of the guys said I better hit the wound with peroxide.

 

I told him, after I got home, I'd treat it with an oral application of 45% ethanol that had been aged in charred oak barrels.

 

 

Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
6/23/19 5:51 p.m.

"I paid good money for that car to not be the village bicycle anymore." - Matt Farah referring to his Countach that was whored out like crazy for photo and video appearances before he bought it.

Madhatr
Madhatr Reader
6/23/19 10:07 p.m.

Guidelines for life in general:

 

You can have it:

Fast

Cheap

Accurate 

Pick your favorite two of the three.

---

And my one of my favorites from my Grandfather:

I bought a Ford in 1948... and that's the last one I owned!

spacecadet
spacecadet HalfDork
6/23/19 11:37 p.m.

"This is WAY BETTER than I thought it would be!" 

David Whitener halfway through his first autocross run in his new Tesla Model 3. 

Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
6/25/19 11:26 p.m.

"I ran over a bottle of dykem. Guess I'll have a blue driveway now."

chuckles
chuckles Dork
6/26/19 5:24 a.m.

"Humility is truth."

 

Erasmus.

Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
7/4/19 10:28 p.m.

"If you pinpoint all the places I've been you'll notice...I haven't actually been that many places."

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH MegaDork
7/9/19 10:38 a.m.

Weather this morning reminded me of a good one:

"Alright men, the plan is to hide and wait for the other team to die of humidity!" - A guy on the paintball team I was about to go up against, on an island in a swamp in Barbados.

ultraclyde
ultraclyde PowerDork
7/9/19 11:03 a.m.
GameboyRMH said:

Weather this morning reminded me of a good one:

"Alright men, the plan is to hide and wait for the other team to die of humidity!" - A guy on the paintball team I was about to go up against, on an island in a swamp in Barbados.

Dig it. This morning driving to work, at 7:07AM it was 77*F and well over 70% humidity. Not-so-lucky-sevens.

spacecadet
spacecadet Dork
7/10/19 5:06 p.m.

"You know what they call that? .........CRAP!

Certified Retarded Accounting Processes."

 

Stated by a co worker today. 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
7/11/19 7:17 p.m.

He’s a loathsome brut, yet I can’t look away.

 

Daylan C
Daylan C UberDork
7/11/19 7:31 p.m.

"What are you gonna do about it?

Yell, cry, scream.

In that order?

Yes."

Crxpilot
Crxpilot Reader
7/16/19 11:22 p.m.

Fitzy- “It’s time to fight fire with fire.”

Davis- “But that’s how we lost the train station.”

NickD
NickD PowerDork
7/17/19 8:49 a.m.

"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another." -- Malcolm Reynolds

Stefan
Stefan MegaDork
7/17/19 10:45 a.m.
NickD said:

"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another." -- Malcolm Reynolds

Cut to Jaynestown....

The0retical
The0retical UberDork
7/17/19 12:10 p.m.
spacecadet said:

"You know what they call that? .........CRAP!

Certified Retarded Accounting Processes."

 

Stated by a co worker today. 

To be fair, and I work for an ERP developer with an in-house developed accounting and inventory package:

"You can ask four different accountants how to do something and you'll get six different answers."

 

I ask clients all the time what exactly they're trying to accomplish. Generally because most of the time I have no idea why someone would do something the way that they're attempting to do it. It's not that the package can't, it's just a question of why they're taking that route to get to the same point I can reach with far less complexity.

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