Quote of the day: a thread for things that aren't necessarily motivational

"Guys, what if OP just posted a dumb idea to steal Curtis's and Knurled's secrets"

- Girthquake

"If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, why is a ram in the ass a goose? *maniacal laughter*" - Nolan North.

Daylan C said:

"Guys, what if OP just posted a dumb idea to steal Curtis's and Knurled's secrets"

- Girthquake

"The easiest way to find the right way to do something is post the wrong way to do it on the internet."

I have no idea who first said that one.

Matthew

"Tom, are you building things that don't exist again?"

"No, this time I'm just making a vent cap"

And my favorite all time Jeremy Clarkson quote " for about the price of a bag of golf bats, you can go motor racing. ". 

Golf bats makes me laugh every time. 

In reply to jharry3 :

That's always been one of my favorite scenes, and I use "there is iron in your words" whenever someone drops a difficult truth on me.

barefootskater said:

Came home from work and my 3yo is sitting eating Cheerios without pants on. 
"where are your pants?"

"No pants, it's party time!"

Ain't no party like a 3YO party!

Captain Planet was always a bit of a dick anyway. 

Guy at work:

"Corn is just a tracking device for your digestive system."

Mrs. Kazoo to Kazoo Jr. - -> "It's not 'lost' unless mom can't find it."  

If you can't remember when you last took a shower, you need to take a shower.

In reply to Appleseed :

That was one of the funny scenes from Memento.  He finds himself in a bathroom, looks around, sniffs the inside of the jacket he's wearing, and starts getting ready to take a shower...

Random comment from Facebook.

All of my stitches, serious bruises and "give me a second" moments occurred in the first 20 years of my life, back when I knew how to have fun.

From the Tales of Automotive Repair Reddit that popped back up again.

"Provided the vehicle carried a legitimate inspection sticker, the brakes were good, the clutch sound and the engine running well, the Objectives of Car were met and the car was therefore perfect in every way. The lack of a radio, the tendency of a deeply-questionable aftermarket sunroof installed by some previous owner to leak sometimes, an utter lack of working gas struts on the back hatch so that it had to be propped with a 2x4…he didn’t give a E36 M3. That car got 40mpg or better, the brakes were new, the clutch was good and the engine was, despite its’ mileage, somehow perfect, so it was a perfect car. Everything else could go berkeley itself until we had more money."

"Sometimes, Keith whips the mules, and they stop and stare at him."

"Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough"  -?

and 

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" -Nietzsche

Toyman01 said:

Random comment from Facebook.

All of my stitches, serious bruises and "give me a second" moments occurred in the first 20 years of my life, back when I knew how to have fun.

Haha!  That was my 30s!

Wish in one hand, E36 M3 in the other see which fills up first. You make E36 M3 happen, wishing doesn't make E36 M3 happen. 
-my dad. 

"Chaotic neutral pretty much describes Australia in a nutshell."

"What you plan and what takes place ain't exactly been similiar."

source

"It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry out off in." - My grandfather

I'm not saying I'm ambidextrous, but I can eat an ice cream cone with my left hand. 

"It's a lot of black magic, and we didn't want to sacrifice any goats to make it work."

How does one waste $10,000 in a year? By spending $27.40 in miscellaneous spending a day, or $192.31 a weekend.