In reply to Stefan (Forum Supporter) :
Congratulations on your discovery!!
In reply to Stefan (Forum Supporter) :
Congratulations on your discovery!!
I'm stuck on White Castle stuffing now. I need to recreate this with Krystals, being in the south. The recipe on the White Castle website says sliders with no pickle - but what else do they normally come with? I need to make sure I get the Krystals topped the same way.
In reply to ultraclyde (Forum Supporter) :
Pickles, diced onions and ketchup
Alfredo sauce is always better the next day.
Lasagna isn't it's best until 3-4 days after it's creation.
Anxiety is back again. Between Thanksgiving, and attempting to decorate for Christmas it was a little tough to begin with. Then some comments from various relatives that I seem too happy to be grieving properly because they never actually call or text but just go by my Facebook page, and now after a weekend of sounding pretty good the girl had a really bad day today.
Sorry I'm all over the place and sometimes I can't vent anywhere else.
You are on a rollercoaster. Not everyone will understand that. Sometimes you will be smiling and something will pull you down. Sometimes you will be crying and something will pick you up.
If people wonder, just tell them that you have a lot of happy memories of Jodi on facebook and you try to put on a happy face when you are there.
My wife says to live through all of your emotions. Nobody has walked the same path you are walking now, so no one has the right to talk smack about how you are doing.
Just another plug for visiting soaringspirits.org and talking with other widowed folks there.
Big hugs and always thinking of you. No matter what happens, you will never forget Jodi.
In reply to Wally (Forum Supporter) :
Dude, relatives or not, the only person you need to pay attention to is you. It's OK. You don't need to perform for anyone else.
Thank you both. I am doing relatively well considering everything that keeps going wrong. I have a dr that is helping a lot and a couple support groups that are amazing, great friends and family, and when she's up talking the new girl is amazing at picking my mind and seeing what's going on. I couldn't ask for things to go better. I know the next couple months are going to be hard but I don't have to like it. It would just be nice if I could go a day without something going wrong.
She's been doing chemo and PT and obviously her daughter who she hasn't been able to see in person for over a month deserves whatever energy she has at the end of the day so I get 2-3 madlib style texts on a good day. I am super happy that she's making progress but miss having someone easy to task to.
The Facebook comments hit me wrong. I'm very careful about what I post for a number of reasons. I wasn't the only one that took her passing hard, she was very active in her stroke group, everyone's favorite aunt and friend, so I try to keep everything happy if I post it at all. The people that contacted me and continue to do so has been unbelievable and they don't need to cry every time I have an off day. For some shiny happy person to assume that because I don't post angry or depressing thoughts means I'm over everything and don't miss her is infuriating. I do look at things a bit different because we had such a happy life and I try to continue to reflect that. It's what she wanted, we spoke many times on it, and it makes me feel better.
Of course life will continue to E36 M3 on me. I lost a lifelong friend to cancer this afternoon, somehow lost my wedding ring last night, and a bunch of little things are piling up to irritate me. The doc earned his check today. It never has to get better but I will continue plugging along the best I can.
Wally, I usually don't have much to say on a personal note on this site but I hope you realize just how much you mean to me and the gang and what a wonderful and admirable person you are. And I I oughta know, I've been following your annunciations for what , 15, 20 years!? Life is going to suck for a good while but just keep believing what a great guy you are. So many of us on here are well aware of what a wonderful and creative mind you have so keep patting yourself on the back even when you don't want to.
I love playing the Bass, even if I do it badly...
This is a fun and appropriate song to have stuck in my head all week:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AUFDsD9rNug
I can't believe how things keep going down hill. I lost a friend earlier in the week to cancer, I get 2-3 poorly worded sentences a day from the girl in the hospital as she struggles through her treatments, and coming home to a dark quiet house every night is getting difficult. I've gone back to a lot of old habits so the weight loss has stopped. I'm on vacation next week and I'm kind of dreading it. My therapist is earning his money right now.
In reply to Wally (Forum Supporter) :
What is on your project list? You need something that takes some concentration, but not a lot. You need something that 1/2 hour or an hour can bring a result, so that you can have that instant gratification. Bigger jobs for bigger chunks of time, sure, but you need easy wins that you can look at the finished product and it is still there, later.
Projects that get you out of the house are also plusses. Things like building a drone/plane/car/whatever and go fly/drive/whatever out where other people do the same. Races are good, but they do not always happen often enough.
For the vacation, make yourself escape your house and go somewhere out of town. Pick someplace and go, just so long as it is far enough away that it is not close by. Visit something, do something, form new memories around some activity someplace with geographical separation away from where you are. Mentally you will be visiting wherever you are with Jodi on your mind and in your thoughts, even if it is something you do just for you. It is okay to not want to be in your house, alone. Take my advice and the advice of anyone that does not see/support you every day with a grain of salt, but what you are talking about sounds very much like what my wife was going through a few months into widowhood and coming up on spring break.
My wife was in the same boat of not wanting to be in her house, especially for an extended time. This is a really common thread for widows and widowers. My wife had a really hard time forcing her self to leave the house when faced with her first vacation, but it was a little like tearing off a band-aid, scary but freeing. Her friends were there to help make it happen, and keep the house and dogs watched over. Here is what my wife did on her first vacation alone. She looked on the web for serene places (what she needed). She found lots of expensive places and lots of very busy places (it was spring break) and she also found Sedona in Arizona. She had never heard of Sedona, but she booked a trip and booked things to do on the trip. Once things to do were booked, it was easier for her to not just stay in her room. She saw new places, went on guided hikes and tours, and generally got out of the house/room.
In reply to matthewmcl (Forum Supporter) :
I would love to go away but right now anything out of state will require a two week quarantine when I return. I put together a list of stuff to do here that I hope to try knocking out. For today's fun I asked a coworker how is pregnant wife was. Turns out miscarried a week ago. It's also the first day in four months I've heard nothing from the girl. I hope everything is going to be ok, I feel so bad for her kid.
Wally, I've sent prayers your way but just wanted to say a couple of things. Screw anyone who comments on how you grieve. I'm so sick of comments like that. I don't want to go on a rant, but anyone who isn't supportive should just be dropped like a bad habit.
I get the travel restrictions. In maine there are tons of places I have yet to see or want to see again. Check out something drivable, you have a lot to choose from. You never know what you'll find in off beat or places you've always meant to see someday.
You my friend, if you don't mind me saying it, need all the respite you can get.
God Bless
What if my life is just another dimension's me's berkeleyed up dream? And my berkeleyed up dreams are his regular day?
Recon1342 said:I love playing the Bass, even if I do it badly...
You and me both.
Appleseed said:What if my life is just another dimension's me's berkeleyed up dream? And my berkeleyed up dreams are his regular day?
What color pill did you take?
Appleseed said:What if my life is just another dimension's me's berkeleyed up dream? And my berkeleyed up dreams are his regular day?
If that's the case for me, then Other Me has a REALLY interesting life.
The other night, I was at a trackday with two other people, in my Golf. I was in the back seat. The course had a long sweeping right, and the straight on the outside of the corner was lined with cones, because the straight went over a long bridge over a valley. Our driver overcooked the corner, plowed over the wall of cones, and we didn't make it back onto the road before the bridge fencing started so we started to go over into the valley. I hit reset, and we were back in the paddock, discussing the poor driving choices that led us to that point. One thing led to another (srsly, I don't remember the conversational details) and I said, well, what would have happened? So *blink*, we're back in the car doing the Thelma and Louise thing. The ground falls away and we're airborne. The driver pops the chute, like a drag chute, and we're slowly falling nose-first through a bunch of vegetation and bridge trusses and stuff, for minutes. We land on a damp dirt road in a jungle environment, and we can see up the road a bit around the corner that there's a small house. We start walking towards it to see if there's someone there, to ask if the road would take us to the top. Coming around the bend, I could see that there was an older middle aged woman sitting in the chair in front of the house. Kind of a cross between Granny Clampett and Dark Fate-era Sarah Connor, grey and wiry but you know she got that old because she's a badass, not coddled. The one of us walking up front held his hand up to signal us to stop walking, and said "There's a tiger, we have to go back." So we turn around and head back to the car, and Granny Sarah or whoever shouts a name, (the tiger's name, it is implied) and we turn around to look. The tiger is standing RIGHT THERE where we had been, on a boulder, looking at us, and I remembered a thing Dolph Volker said on one of his YouTube videos that you never turn your back to a stalking predator because their instinct is to attack things that can't see them.
Now, the tiger didn't look like a tiger. It had a tiger body, but it had the fur/colorings of a goldendoodle, all curly golden fur, and it had the face of a sunflower with an emoji on it.
That's when I woke up.
Appleseed said:What if my life is just another dimension's me's berkeleyed up dream? And my berkeleyed up dreams are his regular day?
I've been starting to wonder lately if I actually survived rolling my cavalier 12 years ago, and maybe I'm just in hell. It sure would explain a lot.
RevRico said:Appleseed said:What if my life is just another dimension's me's berkeleyed up dream? And my berkeleyed up dreams are his regular day?
I've been starting to wonder lately if I actually survived rolling my cavalier 12 years ago, and maybe I'm just in hell. It sure would explain a lot.
A lot of us are here with you which would imply this is some sort of Lost type purgatory. Anyone here suddenly regain the ability to walk about 12 years ago? If so-press the button, its real.
In reply to thedoc :
Thank you, I have places I want to go but can't bring myself to right now. I'm going to try and knock out some things here. Suddenly not hearing from the new friend for a few days has taken a toll too. I really hope if things have turned so quickly that she has someone with her and got to finally see her daughter. Life is really unfair.
Parenting children shouldn't be this damn difficult. When I was 12 I had to wait for my mom to boil water on the stove to take a bath with. now im a parent, I'm arguing with my 12 year old why she doesn't deserve boba tea. Wtf
Wally (Forum Supporter) said:In reply to thedoc :
Thank you, I have places I want to go but can't bring myself to right now. I'm going to try and knock out some things here.
If it is flat out too early to take a trip like that, yourself, then it is too early. When it does become an okay time, it will still be hard to do, but you will feel glad you did it.
In the meantime, plan some day trips or things to do around town that still get you out of the house.
If you have anyone that will be around, make some plans with them. Their job is just to come over an convince you to get in the car.
Either way, keep your plans flexible. Some days will feel like the whole world is crashing down on you and you may have to cancel those plans. If you have a friend that can stick around the house on those bad days, so much the better.
I really hope your friend is responding well to treatment.
Wally (Forum Supporter) said:This is a fun and appropriate song to have stuck in my head all week:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AUFDsD9rNug
I can't believe how things keep going down hill. I lost a friend earlier in the week to cancer, I get 2-3 poorly worded sentences a day from the girl in the hospital as she struggles through her treatments, and coming home to a dark quiet house every night is getting difficult. I've gone back to a lot of old habits so the weight loss has stopped. I'm on vacation next week and I'm kind of dreading it. My therapist is earning his money right now.
To call that a “song” would imply it is music
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