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  • OrangeRazor

    Nov. 5, 2009 5:07 p.m. OrangeRazor New Reader

    PHeller wrote:

    Question: If such a thing existed (and it sounds like they are close), would you have any reservations to taking hormonally based MALE contraceptives? What if there were legitimate studies showing there were potentially long term adverse effects? Would it be OK if she wasn't willing to do the wild thing with you if you weren't willing to take them?

    I think they have already developed the male birth control pill, the only problem is that it prevents you from having a boner

    HOWEVER, I've always thought if there were such a pill I wouldn't really have that many reservations about taking it, so long as it could pass the FDA standards. Shucks, there are "legitimate studies" showing that there are potentially long term adverse effects of doing all kinds of things, like eating whole eggs ("But I just ate the eggs!") or drinking milk.

    But eh, condoms are still cheap and I'm betting they'll be cheaper than a male birth control pill. So I'll use the GRM method

  • tuna55

    Nov. 5, 2009 5:57 p.m. tuna55 Reader

    SVreX wrote:

    PHeller wrote:

    The topic is just focused around a woman who is opposed to taking hormone based birth control because it might mess with her system. She may be ignorant on the subject. She may have been in relationships where her past partners were sterile. She may have been in relationships where her past partners didn't care about her getting pregnant. It doesn't matter, because now (theoretically speaking) I'm into her, and we're clicking, and things are going great, and I'm in love with someone I can't have a sex life with for fear of babies.

    OK, lets focus.

    Are you suggesting that hormone based birth controls are more reliable?

    Are you suggesting that she just doesn't understand how safe they are?

    Question: If such a thing existed (and it sounds like they are close), would you have any reservations to taking hormonally based MALE contraceptives? What if there were legitimate studies showing there were potentially long term adverse effects? Would it be OK if she wasn't willing to do the wild thing with you if you weren't willing to take them?

    BTW, the young people I know who choose to abstain generally do not do it for fear of having babies (or STD's). They do it because they place value on it, and they have convictions they wish to stand on, and they believe there will be significant and long term benefits from waiting. Did you know there is a Facebook discussion group called "I'm Saving Myself for Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex"?

    Some people see abstaining as receiving something of great value, not being deprived of something they want.

    +1

    Saving sex for when it really matters is a good thing. Let's just break it down one step beyond where you are now - let's say you fell for this girl who wants to wait until marriage? What then? You need to be ok with her convictions in this area, or you likely don't respect her enough to love her as much as you think you do.

  • SupraWes

    Nov. 5, 2009 6:30 p.m. SupraWes Dork

    Ok, so said girl wants to have sex out of wedlock, does not want children, but refuses to use contraception. It seems like a problem waiting to happen to me. She should either take responsibility and use protection or not have sex at all. I am curious about her reasoning for this choice though. It seems like a mental illness to me to contradict yourself in that way. If you want to remain wholesome then don't have sex, if you want to have sex then be an adult and use protection.

    cwh wrote:

    As Jeff Goldblum said in Jurassic Park "Nature finds a way". Lot of truth there. Besides self-preservation, there is no stronger human drive than preservation of the species, as in making babies. Right now, I am trying to deal with a 16yo granddaughter living with an 18yo boy. Yeah, she's supposed to be on the pill, but I know what the end result will be and it will be devastating for a lot of people. Seems like I'm the only one concerned.

    All I'm sayin is its hard to be a teenager today.

  • oldsaw

    Nov. 5, 2009 7:05 p.m. oldsaw HalfDork

    Pheller needs to engage in some really serious conversation with his "target fixation" and mesh that with some really serious introspection.

    One suspects he already knows the answer, with or without the members' collective advice. Since nature always "find its' way" both parties have to share what they want/expect and be prepared for the joys or the consequences.

    It's never easy, but the burden of one decision lasts until the next one comes along, the other lasts more than one lifetime.

  • DoctorBlade

    Nov. 5, 2009 8:45 p.m. DoctorBlade New Reader

    I will point out that not all methods of protection work, even if you stack them. The best method is abstinence.

  • Nov. 6, 2009 5:57 a.m. SVreX PowerDork

    OrangeRazor wrote:

    But eh, condoms are still cheap and I'm betting they'll be cheaper than a male birth control pill. So I'll use the GRM method

    OK, but you didn't answer the question:

    SVreX wrote:

    Would it be OK if she wasn't willing to do the wild thing with you if you weren't willing to take them?

    So you are OK with a male hormonally based contraceptive, as long as it meets FDA approval.

    But the question was, IF you were opposed, would it be OK if she insisted on you using it in opposition to another method? Your potential approval of the product doesn't answer whether it is OK for her to expect you to do something you are opposed to just so she can have her way with you.

    You also dodged this one:

    SVreX wrote:

    Question: If such a thing existed (and it sounds like they are close), would you have any reservations to taking hormonally based MALE contraceptives?

    By saying this:

    OrangeRazor wrote:

    HOWEVER, I've always thought if there were such a pill I wouldn't really have that many reservations about taking it, so long as it could pass the FDA standards.

    And chasing some rabbit about eating eggs.

    Shall we assume that you WOULD in fact have some reservations, based on the highlighted portions?

  • PHeller

    Nov. 6, 2009 7:00 a.m. PHeller HalfDork

    not everything is a debate man, I'm gonna let this thread die.

  • Duke

    Nov. 6, 2009 9:38 a.m. Duke SuperDork

    pigeon wrote:

    Reminds me of a story told about an old acquaintance of a friend. Seems the acquaintance was a very attractive young lady in college who was "saving herself for marriage" by engaging exclusively in anal sex.

    That "old acquaintance of a friend" was actually a character in the original Debbie Does Dallas.

    PHeller - recommend she talk to her doctor about a diaphragm, and you wear a condom. Nothing but not doin' it is 100% effective, but that combination will come damn close. The diaphragm is not an irritant like an implant and is not hormone based. It's only worn for about 6 hours at a stretch following sex, otherwise it stays in the case in her nightstand. It allowed my future wife and I to get to know each other very well without having kids before we were ready, and when we were ready, there was zero down time and no complicating aftereffects.

  • Nov. 6, 2009 9:43 a.m. SVreX PowerDork

    You're right. It wasn't my intent to debate. For that, I apologize.

    It's an important issue, the heart of which is the value, respect, and importance people place on each other, particularly men regarding women.

    I was merely observing that post didn't really uphold those aspects of mutual respect (which have taken me many years to sort out myself).

    My apologies for reducing it to a trivial debate. Again, it wasn't my intent.

  • Kramer

    Nov. 6, 2009 11:38 a.m. Kramer HalfDork

    You need to know exactly what time to PULL OUT of the relationship.

  • mel_horn

    Nov. 7, 2009 8:10 a.m. mel_horn Dork

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    You are forgetting that some people are also extremely sensitive to latex, so some have to use the single use "Non-latex" male contraceptive....

    That infers that other types are "multiple uses?" Eeewwwwww...

  • Chebbie_SB

    Nov. 7, 2009 9:09 a.m. Chebbie_SB HalfDork

    mel_horn wrote:

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    You are forgetting that some people are also extremely sensitive to latex, so some have to use the single use "Non-latex" male contraceptive....

    That infers that other types are "multiple uses?" Eeewwwwww...

    Multiple uses requires turning it inside out, and shaking the berkeley out of it !!

  • Giant Purple Snorklewacker

    Nov. 7, 2009 9:21 a.m. Giant Purple Snorklewacker Dork

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    mel_horn wrote:

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    You are forgetting that some people are also extremely sensitive to latex, so some have to use the single use "Non-latex" male contraceptive....

    That infers that other types are "multiple uses?" Eeewwwwww...

    Multiple uses requires turning it inside out, and shaking the berkeley out of it !!

    dishwasher safe!

  • zoomx2

    Nov. 7, 2009 10:25 a.m. zoomx2 Reader

    Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote:

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    mel_horn wrote:

    Chebbie_SB wrote:

    You are forgetting that some people are also extremely sensitive to latex, so some have to use the single use "Non-latex" male contraceptive....

    That infers that other types are "multiple uses?" Eeewwwwww...

    Multiple uses requires turning it inside out, and shaking the berkeley out of it !!

    dishwasher safe!

    C'mon guys, that's what BrakeKleen was really intended for. Worlds best wasp AND sperm killer.

  • ignorant

    Nov. 7, 2009 10:25 a.m. ignorant PowerDork

    My wife was on about 4-5 different pills early on in our marriage. Holy CRAP did those things mess her up. I finally told her to stop because some pills would decrease her sex drive and some would turn her into the wicked witch from the west and some would turn her into a crazy nervous person. I did not like her on those drugs.

    Sadly; Having a 7 month old is the best contraception possible.

  • mtn

    Nov. 7, 2009 10:49 a.m. mtn SuperDork

    ignorant wrote:

    My wife was on about 4-5 different pills early on in our marriage. Holy CRAP did those things mess her up. I finally told her to stop because some pills would decrease her sex drive and some would turn her into the wicked witch from the west and some would turn her into a crazy nervous person. I did not like her on those drugs.

    Kinda the opposite for my girlfriend. She's on the pill for PMDD. Its like PMS. On steroids.

  • Drewsifer

    Nov. 7, 2009 10:56 a.m. Drewsifer New Reader

    I'm late, but I'm gonna chime in. As stated the best way to not end up with a kid, is to not have sex. Should you avoid girls who are unwilling to beyond condoms for birth control? I would so no, but it's an issue you need to deal with early on in the relationship. Maybe she has a reason for not wanting to use it, and knows something you don't.

    As for some pills killing sex drive, +1 for that. My wife is on a pill that does that. I really hate that berkeleying pill.

  • EastCoastMojo

    Nov. 7, 2009 11:19 a.m. EastCoastMojo SuperDork

    I'm just gonna throw this out there. Maybe she is opposed to birth control because it makes it too easy to focus on the instant gratification and not on the big tough questions in a relationship. When you take sex out of the equation, it brings the other aspects of the relationship into sharp relief.

  • Nov. 7, 2009 12:21 p.m. SVreX PowerDork

    Ding ding ding!

  • CarKid1989

    Nov. 7, 2009 1:30 p.m. CarKid1989 HalfDork

    EastCoastMojo wrote:

    I'm just gonna throw this out there. Maybe she is opposed to birth control because it makes it too easy to focus on the instant gratification and not on the big tough questions in a relationship. When you take sex out of the equation, it brings the other aspects of the relationship into sharp relief.

    Wow...brilliant!

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