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Login to post Forums » Off-topic discussion » The Oreo Diet

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Aug. 6, 2009 5:58 p.m. carguy123 Dork

Yeah, I know it's hard to believe but it's real and very, very scientific.

I hope I get all the details all right, my wife explained it to me so clearly while we were in the store but since I'm not as smart as my wife I sometimes get things wrong.

I apparently don't pay enough attention to packaging of food because it's been right in front of my face for a while now. If you buy the Reduced Fat Oreos they actually shrink the fat as you eat them. You can actually feel the Fat being Reduced as you eat.

I was skeptical at first but after my first 3 cookies I noticed that my fan belt started squealing. I'm on my second package of the day and soon I'll be so skinny my seat belt won't hold me in.

I applied some man logic to this so I hope I haven't screwed up some scientific principle, but knowing there was fat in milk I didn't want to replace all the reduced fat with new milk fat so I choose to drink a Dr. Pepper with my Oreos. I'm thinking this will make it work about twice as fast as if I drank milk. I guess it would work even faster with Diet Dr. Pepper, but diet drinks seem kinda thin when you drink them while eating foods high in sugar.

Who needs to try to save ounces off the weight of my car when I can save XXXX (edited for clarity's sake) pounds just by eating right.

I offered to buy my wife a whole case of Oreos and she just hit me - go figure.
Aug. 6, 2009 6:07 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

berkeley Reduced Fat Oreos. I eat Double-Stuff.

Think about it. There are far fewer Double-Stuff Oreos in a package than regular and Reduced Fat Oreos. So, when I sit down and eat a serving (one package, right?) of Double-Stuff Oreos, I just ate far fewer Oreos than I would have if they had been one of the other two types.

Eat fewer Oreos, eat less fat, be a bikini model in no time.
Aug. 6, 2009 6:16 p.m. carguy123 Dork

I hadn't thought of that, but you're using man logic. This defies the normal logic you don't want to eat less, you want to eat more to get more that Fat Reducing stuff in your system
Aug. 6, 2009 7:40 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

More cream. Less not-cream.
Aug. 6, 2009 7:52 p.m. NYG95GA SuperDork

I'll admit, I've eaten a pot-load of Oreos in my life, but I rarely do any more. Trying to get off the sweets..

Maybe if they came out with one with Key Lime filling?

Does that sound like the perfect snack, or is just me?
Aug. 6, 2009 10:19 p.m. MitchellC HalfDork

Fun fact: Oreos are vegan. Meaning, there's no dairy in them. I think that "cream" is closer to vanilla flavored shortening than anything. Keep eating them up, guys!

Ingredients: SUGAR, ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE {VITAMIN B1}, RIBOFLAVIN {VITAMIN B2}, FOLIC ACID), HIGH OLEIC CANOLA OIL AND/OR PALM OIL AND/OR CANOLA OIL, AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL, COCOA (PROCESSED WITH ALKALI), HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORNSTARCH, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA AND/OR CALCIUM PHOSPHATE), SALT, SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER), VANILLIN - AN ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, CHOCOLATE. CONTAINS: WHEAT, SOY.
Aug. 6, 2009 10:27 p.m. zoomx2 Reader

MitchellC wrote:

I think that "cream" is closer to vanilla flavored shortening than anything. Keep eating them up, guys!

Meh, vanilla is crap, that's why I eat Crisco straight from the can instead. I prefer my shortening all natural.
Aug. 6, 2009 10:33 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

MitchellC wrote:

Fun fact: Oreos are vegan. Meaning, there's no dairy in them. I think that "cream" is closer to vanilla flavored shortening than anything. Keep eating them up, guys!

Ingredients: SUGAR, ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE {VITAMIN B1}, RIBOFLAVIN {VITAMIN B2}, FOLIC ACID), HIGH OLEIC CANOLA OIL AND/OR PALM OIL AND/OR CANOLA OIL, AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL, COCOA (PROCESSED WITH ALKALI), HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORNSTARCH, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA AND/OR CALCIUM PHOSPHATE), SALT, SOY LECITHIN (EMULSIFIER), VANILLIN - AN ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, CHOCOLATE. CONTAINS: WHEAT, SOY.

You know... I actually know what all those ingredients are. That's kind of nice to know when we live in a world where a bottle of water now has ingredients whose names I cannot pronounce.
Aug. 6, 2009 10:40 p.m. z31maniac Dork

Pics of water bottle label with perservatives as ingredients or it didn't happen.
Aug. 6, 2009 10:46 p.m. Tim Baxter Online Editor

Hydrox > Oreo.
Aug. 6, 2009 10:48 p.m. griffin729 Reader

zoomx2 wrote:

MitchellC wrote:

I think that "cream" is closer to vanilla flavored shortening than anything. Keep eating them up, guys!

Meh, vanilla is crap, that's why I eat Crisco straight from the can instead. I prefer my shortening all natural.

Crisco plus confectioners sugar, that's about it for the cream. My personal choice is only available once a year. Halloween Oreos, FTW. They say you can't tast the food coloring, but you can. The flavor of the color orange is so much better.
Aug. 6, 2009 11:13 p.m. thedude Reader

reduced fat oreos also refuse to accept the fatty milk infusion introduced via dunking in high-fat milk. theyre no fun and i hate them.
Aug. 7, 2009 1:02 a.m. Appleseed HalfDork

I'm now a diabetic. I know what Oreos taste like. I cry a lot.
Aug. 7, 2009 1:46 a.m. Wally UberDork

Am i the only person who doesn't like Oreos? Vienna Fingers I can eat by the ton though.
Aug. 7, 2009 4:07 a.m. thatsnowinnebago HalfDork

Wally wrote:

Am i the only person who doesn't like Oreos? Vienna Fingers I can eat by the ton though.

No, you are not alone.
Aug. 7, 2009 7:15 a.m. Luke Dork

Oreos are amazing. In general, you Americans have the best confectionery, and Oreos are one of the few which are widely available here in Australia. I've also recently developed a taste for peanut-butter flavoured chocolate bars (Take 5, 5th Avenue, Reeses cup things etc.), which can only be had from speciality candy stores. So that's where I get my fix. $2.80 a bar but definitely worth it .

Krispy Kreme donuts are a real treat, here, too, and a few stores have opened up around the city. I say if you're going to make a donut, no point in half-arsing it. It may as well be decadent and 100% unhealthy, and delicious.
Aug. 7, 2009 9:30 a.m. DILYSI Dave UltimaDork

Tim Baxter wrote:

Hydrox > Oreo.

Why do you hate America?
Aug. 7, 2009 9:52 a.m. Tim Baxter Online Editor

I don't. Better chocoloate, better cream (no lard). Hydrox was the original, and was the better cookie. Too bad they got crushed by Nabisco. But that's how the cookie crumbles.
Aug. 7, 2009 1:40 p.m. Marjorie Suddard General Manager

Wally wrote:

Am i the only person who doesn't like Oreos? Vienna Sausages I can eat by the ton though.

Fixed. Matter of fact, I enjoyed a can for lunch today.

Margie
Aug. 7, 2009 2:25 p.m. aussiesmg Dork

Luke, I miss Tim Tams almost as much as a good Meat Pie.

Steve
Aug. 7, 2009 6:12 p.m. carguy123 Dork

I too like Vienna Fingers, but Vienna sausages go to the back of my pantry with the decade old can of Spam.

Hydrox has a bitter flavor when compared to Oreos. My mom used to buy both and I've always liked Oreos better.

But you guys are missing the point, you can eat all the Reduced Fat Oreos you want and instead of getting fatter you'll only get skinnier. You'd better go out and stock up on Oreos cause as soon as the National Enquirer and all those other mags catch on they'll give it the media blitz and you won't be able to find an Oreo anywhere.

No telling what they'll cost on the black (chocolate) market!
Aug. 7, 2009 6:50 p.m. NYG95GA SuperDork

The reason Vienna Sausages (and Sardines) are packed so tightly is that the oil they come in actually costs more than the product itself.

I'm just sayin'..
Aug. 8, 2009 7:39 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

carguy123 wrote:

But you guys are missing the point, you can eat all the Reduced Fat Oreos you want and instead of getting fatter you'll only get skinnier. You'd better go out and stock up on Oreos cause as soon as the National Enquirer and all those other mags catch on they'll give it the media blitz and you won't be able to find an Oreo anywhere.

No telling what they'll cost on the black (chocolate) market!

We didn't all miss the point. I just think that you can do better with double-stuffs than regulars... although they won't have the fat-blasting effect that the reduced fat Oreos have.

I think everyone else got the point too, but they instead decided to argue that Oreos are somehow not delicious because they're communists.
Aug. 8, 2009 7:46 p.m. confuZion3 SuperDork

z31maniac wrote:

Pics of water bottle label with perservatives as ingredients or it didn't happen.

Sure.
Aug. 8, 2009 9:33 p.m. Jensenman MegaDork

I try to avoid Viennas. Like cocktail weenies, they remind me of my shortcomings.

Damn... is this thing on?

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