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pinchvalve
pinchvalve MegaDork
9/20/19 1:19 p.m.

I keep hearing commercials that talk about what you deserve. One is for a private school that delivers the education your child deserves. Another is for a recruiter promising the good job you deserve. Another is for a travel agency promising the vacation that you deserve. I might be showing my age, but when did we all start deserving the best of everything? 

I think that I deserve basic human rights and dignity, but other than that, I deserve to get paid for my hard work. If I put in a lot of hours and save up my money, I have earned a vacation perhaps, but do I deserve one? 

I'm just wondering what everyone's view is on deserving things.

Duke
Duke MegaDork
9/20/19 1:28 p.m.

I'm pretty much on your page here.

I deserve what I earn.

That's pretty open to interpretation, of course.  But basically I deserve reward for my unique abilities and successful work.  I deserve praise when I go beyond, and I deserve chastisement when I fall short.  Note that there is no specific level of these things that I deserve - I need to negotiate acceptable levels reward as part of my agreements with every person I decide to obilgate myself to.

Other than that, I deserve to be left alone, so long as I am not interfering with others' right to be left alone.

 

RevRico
RevRico PowerDork
9/20/19 1:33 p.m.

In general, I think no one deserves anymore than to live until they die and anything else is just extra.

In practice though, I  feel  that I specifically deserve the reward for suffering that was dangled in front of me like a carrot my entire life then given to my scumberkeley uncle out of spite. I also feel I earned it after sacrificing my childhood and the beginning of my adult life in hospitals, nursing homes, rehab facilities, and hospice care taking care of my father through all his illness, which is specifically what the portion of the inheritance I DID NOT get was ear marked for. 

So I deserve my spot in hell torturing my grandfather for eternity.

FuzzWuzzy
FuzzWuzzy Reader
9/20/19 1:47 p.m.

I've always wondered how people got to the point where they assume that they deserve something.

"I deserve a six figure salary. I deserve a 5/5 house. I deserve the newest [Insert object here]."

I think people are somehow confusing 'deserve' with 'want.' 
 

Stampie
Stampie UltimaDork
9/20/19 1:50 p.m.

I think I deserve a frosty and shall make that happen once Lil Stampie gets out of school in 10 minutes. 

Fueled by Caffeine
Fueled by Caffeine MegaDork
9/20/19 2:00 p.m.
Duke said:

I deserve what I earn.

 

 

And these people selling people what they “deserve” are sure earning theirs. 

bobzilla
bobzilla MegaDork
9/20/19 2:03 p.m.

I'm with Duke. I deserve what I earn, and nothing more. I don't deserve anything special. I don't deserve to have a monthly leadership coaching session. I don't deserve a new house, or an awesome vacation. Some of those I earn, some of those are gifts that I appreciate for what they are. 

The more people learn that they don't deserve anything more than what they earn, the better off they will be. 

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH MegaDork
9/20/19 2:13 p.m.

It's just a hot new marketing tactic trying to emotionally persuade people to pay for things that they logically know they can't really afford these days, whether it's a largely worthless education from a predator college, a recruiter's commission that you don't need to spend and will effectively defer any pay increase, or a vacation that would be a nice escape from 24/7 burnout hell but will hurt you down the line. 

pinchvalve said:

I deserve to get paid for my hard work.

Careful now, that could get political cheeky

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
9/20/19 2:19 p.m.

I think a lot of people conflate deserving and entitled. 

As has been said, you deserve what you earn- good or bad. So yes, if you can afford it, you might think you deserve a race car.

You're entitled to basic human rights and dignity, nothing more. 
 

Robbie
Robbie UltimaDork
9/20/19 2:30 p.m.

I deserve a better thread

Flynlow
Flynlow HalfDork
9/20/19 2:31 p.m.

I've noticed the same trend, and it's irritating.  Hopefully it'll die out in a few years like so many marketing buzzwords .

 

FuzzWuzzy said:

I think people are somehow confusing 'deserve' with 'want.' 
 

"I want" makes much less of an impact, though I agree with you 100%.  Someone saying, "I deserve a vacation."  Makes it seems like fact.  That we should all just get on board with this new natural order of things.  "I would like (or want) a vacation" is much less powerful.  It is a conversation opener, and people rarely want to have a genuine back and forth conversation, they want to talk at you, which is much more one sided.  

At the risk of floundering, I've observed a similar trend in other areas:

"I deserve" vs "I want"

"That's offensive!" vs "I am offended by that"

"Don't you always/people always/you HAVE to....(do/say/go/etc)...(popular thing)" vs "why are you doing that? (With no judgement in the tone, just curiousity)"

I will post the other similar expressions as they come to me, but it seems to be a push towards absolutes.  And unfortunate.  

Fueled by Caffeine
Fueled by Caffeine MegaDork
9/20/19 2:36 p.m.

I deserve some ice cream and candy from the vending machine.. which I think I'll go get right now...

wae
wae SuperDork
9/20/19 2:45 p.m.

This is something that I've been talking to my own kids about recently.  First thing we have to do is define our terms and decide what it means to "deserve".  I teach my kids that it means it's something that someone has to give you whether you earn it or not.  So far, I've only come up with basic human dignity falling into that category.  That's stuff like honoring your promises, treating other people respectfully, and treating yourself with respect.  Things that people say they deserve may flow from some of that:  If I have an agreement with you to rent an apartment from you and I have lived up to my obligations under that contract then I deserve to expect that you will do the same.  But no matter how hard I work and no matter what I do for my employer, the only thing I deserve from them is my paycheck and other benefits that we've agreed to under my employment agreement.  I don't "deserve" to help myself to the supply closet when it's time to go school supply shopping, for example.

It's a really good way to convince someone that they should buy something to say "come on!  You *deserve* this widget!" and I think that collectively we've started to believe our own bullE36 M3.

mazdeuce - Seth
mazdeuce - Seth Mod Squad
9/20/19 2:48 p.m.

It's marketing trying to elevate things that would otherwise be wants. 

As far as actually deserve? Children do deserve love caring and understanding from adults in their lives. Maybe not every adult but from some important ones. Adults deserve basic human dignity from other adults. They deserve a chance and not to be excluded for reasons other than their proven ability. We all deserve to be shunned by society in some form if we cannot play by the basic rules. 

The things we actually deserve are powerful. If marketers can link those emotions with what they're selling then they'll get what they deserve at bonus time. 

red_stapler
red_stapler SuperDork
9/20/19 2:50 p.m.

de·serve /dəˈzərv/

verb: deserve; 3rd person present: deserves; past tense: deserved; past participle: deserved; gerund or present participle: deserving

  1. do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).

    "the referee deserves a pat on the back for his bravery"

    Similar: merit - earn - warrant - rate - justify - be worthy of

 

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
9/20/19 2:54 p.m.
wae said:

First thing we have to do is define our terms and decide what it means to "deserve".  I teach my kids that it means it's something that someone has to give you whether you earn it or not.  So far, I've only come up with basic human dignity falling into that category.  

 

This is what I mean when I said people are conflating deserve and entitled. You can't deserve something unless you earn it through your actions. It's how somebody that rushes into a burning building to rescue a child may deserve praise and a criminal who stole from the elderly may deserve punishment.

Somebody may think they deserve something they didn't earn. That makes them entitled. 

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy UltimaDork
9/20/19 2:55 p.m.
mazdeuce - Seth said:

It's marketing trying to elevate things that would otherwise be wants. 

As far as actually deserve? Children do deserve love caring and understanding from adults in their lives. Maybe not every adult but from some important ones. Adults deserve basic human dignity from other adults. They deserve a chance and not to be excluded for reasons other than their proven ability. We all deserve to be shunned by society in some form if we cannot play by the basic rules. 

The things we actually deserve are powerful. If marketers can link those emotions with what they're selling then they'll get what they deserve at bonus time. 

Those are things we are entitled to. We only deserve what we earn.

Will
Will UltraDork
9/20/19 4:13 p.m.

Toebra
Toebra Dork
9/20/19 4:17 p.m.

^Came here to post this clip^

NOHOME
NOHOME MegaDork
9/20/19 4:24 p.m.

In general, we end up getting what we deserve.....

 

The difference between "want" and "need" was lost to most people a looooooooooooooooooonnnggg time ago. Hence society "deserves" the indenture to debt that we live under.  "Consumer" sounds so much more pleasant than "Indentured Slave".

 

Pete

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
9/20/19 4:32 p.m.

I deserve insulin (the exact same insulin that cost $21.00 out of pocket in 1996) that should now be $34.00, not $280.00 with insurance.

Tell me how I earned that?

Shadeux
Shadeux Reader
9/20/19 4:35 p.m.

I've never, ever, thought I "deserved" anything. Where has this "I deserve X" come from?

nutherjrfan
nutherjrfan UberDork
9/20/19 5:41 p.m.

A foot rub.devil

nderwater
nderwater UltimaDork
9/20/19 5:50 p.m.

I'm surrounded by people who sincerely feel they "deserve" things, or are "owed" things. I find it shockingly self-centered and deeply frustrating.

Knurled.
Knurled. MegaDork
9/20/19 7:25 p.m.
pinchvalve said:

I keep hearing commercials that talk about what you deserve. One is for a private school that delivers the education your child deserves. Another is for a recruiter promising the good job you deserve. Another is for a travel agency promising the vacation that you deserve. I might be showing my age, but when did we all start deserving the best of everything? 

I think that I deserve basic human rights and dignity, but other than that, I deserve to get paid for my hard work. If I put in a lot of hours and save up my money, I have earned a vacation perhaps, but do I deserve one? 

I'm just wondering what everyone's view is on deserving things.

Those commercials bug me.  If someone is trying to sell you something by telling you that you are entitled to it, I instantly distrust anything else they say.

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