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  • Wally

    May 6, 2009 9:35 a.m. Wally SuperDork

    Usually about once a day someone approches me with something to change my life. Generally a fantastic vitamin program, a weight loss miracle, or a vegan. These people have more determination than any Jehova's Witness or Mormon I've ever encountered. They don't seem to understand that I'm at work, and can't really talk much even if I were interested. It always ends the same way, they are doing it for my benefit, and I have to continue to insult them until they cry and/or call the company and complian that I'm an awful person.

    Why can't they just accept that I don't care and move on. I am the horrible fat, meat eating, tree hating, water poluting, conservative(omg did he say that) asshat that I look like, and some 60 year old woman telling me Vegans have better sex lives isn't going to change it. In fact it is kinda creepy, like the day the school nurse came in and explained why we were all growing hair everywhere. If it wasn't $10.50 a pack I'd take up smoking to piss of the few people I hadn't yet.

  • Woody

    May 6, 2009 9:42 a.m. Woody Dork

    Just cough in their direction and mention that you've felt like crap since returning from Mexico.

  • Bobzilla

    May 6, 2009 9:54 a.m. Bobzilla Reader

    Amen Brother Wally.... Amen.

  • EricM

    May 6, 2009 9:55 a.m. EricM HalfDork

    LULZ...

    Zealets, what are ya gunna do?

  • PHeller

    May 6, 2009 9:56 a.m. PHeller HalfDork

    You could always fight back by keeping a roast beef sandwhich, a litercola and some random other "unhealthy" things laying around.

  • bludroptop

    May 6, 2009 10:09 a.m. bludroptop Dork

    Wally wrote:

    Why can't they just accept that I don't care and move on. I am the horrible fat, meat eating, tree hating, water poluting, conservative(omg did he say that) asshat that I look like....

    The first step to recovery is recognizing that you have a problem. Our patented Asshat Reduction Balm, applied in the comfort of your own home twice daily, is guaranteed to reduce these symptoms in just 7 days.

    Seriously - people selling e36M3 don't bother me so much because I recognize that as crappy as my job may sometimes be - theirs is worse.

    It is the people who proselyte their religion that set me off - believe whatever nonsense fairy tale you wish, but spare me the pitch.

  • JFX001

    May 6, 2009 10:13 a.m. JFX001 Dork

    You just keep letting your freak flag fly Wally....the World will come around to your point of view.

    .......Wally World?

  • P71

    May 6, 2009 10:55 a.m. P71 Dork

    Well at least one of your proposals is true... My girlfriend is a vegan and I can "confirm" that theory

  • andrave

    May 6, 2009 11:00 a.m. andrave New Reader

    geez where the berkeley do you live/work that you encounter these weirdos on such a regular basis?

    on a side note, a massive jehovah's witness single handedly pushed my Infiniti M30- with me steering-up over a 5" curb in houston when the anti theft system malfunctioned and I was blocking an intersection. He shook my hand and his fingers came halfway up my forearm. He was nearly 7' tall and had to weight around 400 lbs.... that dude was amazing. He gave me a little book about the church, then he got on his bike and rode away, with his shirt tucked in and his tie flapping.

  • Xceler8x

    May 6, 2009 12:56 p.m. Xceler8x Dork

    andrave wrote:

    on a side note, a massive jehovah's witness single handedly pushed my Infiniti M30- with me steering-up over a 5" curb in houston when the anti theft system malfunctioned and I was blocking an intersection. He shook my hand and his fingers came halfway up my forearm. He was nearly 7' tall and had to weight around 400 lbs.... that dude was amazing. He gave me a little book about the church, then he got on his bike and rode away, with his shirt tucked in and his tie flapping.

    That act alone will do more to get me to listen about religion than anybody rolling up on my porch unannounced.

    I hates uninvited guests.

  • poopshovel

    May 6, 2009 1:08 p.m. poopshovel SuperDork

    If it wasn't $10.50 a pack I'd take up smoking to piss of the few people I hadn't yet.

    I can always ship you a few $3.80 packs. You know they help with weight loss, make your whang bigger, and cure cancer, right?

  • bludroptop

    May 6, 2009 1:20 p.m. bludroptop Dork

    P71 wrote:

    Well at least one of your proposals is true... My girlfriend is a vegan and I can "confirm" that theory

    Translation: she's too weak to put up much resistance.

  • John Brown

    May 6, 2009 2:14 p.m. John Brown SuperDork

    LOLZ

    Since I mailed in my diet while eating three meals a day at the hospital since the baby was born and had trouble, I too get the lovely folks from work suggesting alternative forms of dieting. I stand or run from 6:30am to 6:30pm every week day, then my saturdays and sundays are covered with taking the kids swimming, soccer, Beetleworking, and ocassionally sitting on my ass watching NASCAR (say something, I dare you ). Believe me folks, the gym membership would help with my pecs but not help me lose weight... Not being stuck at work 60% of my life will.

  • InigoMontoya

    May 6, 2009 7:51 p.m. InigoMontoya Reader

    I work for a domain (.com) registration company mentioned in other threads.

    People with all the get-rich-quick schemes calling in all day, and then pitching me the products.

    Really? I have not already seen that site 5 times today, and in a year after they have tapped out your bank account you will be calling me back to cancel your registrations.

    I usually tell them they can take a look at my current site at http://www.kalecoauto.com and they can become a partner.

  • SupraWes

    May 7, 2009 5:14 p.m. SupraWes Dork

    InigoMontoya wrote:

    I work for a domain (.com) registration company mentioned in other threads.

    People with all the get-rich-quick schemes calling in all day, and then pitching me the products.

    Really? I have not already seen that site 5 times today, and in a year after they have tapped out your bank account you will be calling me back to cancel your registrations.

    I usually tell them they can take a look at my current site at http://www.kalecoauto.com and they can become a partner.

    What happened to the Camshaft Rotational dampners? You sell out or something? I need 2 big ones cuz my car has dual camz yo!

  • RexSeven

    May 7, 2009 5:39 p.m. RexSeven HalfDork

    andrave wrote:

    geez where the berkeley do you live/work that you encounter these weirdos on such a regular basis?

    Why, he's GRM's friendly neighborhood bus dispatcher, of course!

    InigoMontoya wrote:

    I usually tell them they can take a look at my current site at http://www.kalecoauto.com and they can become a partner.

 
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