Best prison letter ever. Nov 10, 2010
From the Desk of: Tom Heath
We get all sorts of interesting mail around the GRM offices, and even when we’re busy we try to make time to read it all. Every once in a while, we get a real gem like this.
Dear GRM-
If you noticed the return address on the envelope, you’ll see this is from an inmate in a jail in Virginia. My name is WITHHELD TO PROTECT A NICE GUY and I’m currently incarcerated, finishing up the last nine months of a year and a half sentence. Y’all can sleep easy- this isn’t correspondence from some Buffalo Bill-type serial killer (you know…”Silence of the Lambs”). My crime was unauthorized use of a vehicle (kinda like a less serious charge of Grand Theft Auto). Your cars are safe, too. This was something involving my ex-wife (thanks, Sweetie!). Besides that, I’ve learned my lesson and my life of crime is over. Jail sucks, but thankfully it’s mostly just boring and not the traumatic experience depicted on TV shows like “Oz”. For now, my life consists of reading, playing cars, and talking about cars. There’s a few of us who I guess you could call enthusiasts and we talk about cars we’ve had or would like to own. Now I’m 33, and when I was in high school my friends and I were into VWs and Hondas. There’s a particular car I haven’t seen in years and I think it’d be sweet to have one, but the question is would it be worth it? The car is the short-lived Volkswagen Corrado. I know for now it’s only a dream I can’t pursue for months, but am I out of my mind to consider pursuing one? What can you tell me about this car? I’ve only seen one copy of “Grassroots” and that’s here in jail, but I’m convinced after reading the articles “Attention Spans” and “Golf Games” in the June 2010 mag that I could not pose my questions to someone better. As of now I don’t have a subscription, but I’m working on it. My guess is that a Corrections Officer brought your mag in or someone donated it. Whoever it was THANK YOU! If you do respond to this letter, could you mail the response back to me? Your magazine is awesome and shares has a special place under my mattress.
It was written with a lot of care and attention to penmanship, if not formatting. It strikes me as a genuine letter written by a decent human being, and the last line made me laugh pretty hard. I think he did it on purpose.
I’m going to pony up some Tom money and get him a subscription for a year. If you know someone trying to get rid of a decent Corrado project, drop me a line and I’ll get you in touch with him.
Comments
- ansonivan wrote: Nov 10, 2010 2:31 p.m.
- Every Corrado is a project, none of them are decent. Awesome letter.
- G60ING wrote: Mar 26, 2011 1:51 p.m.
- Good letter Tom (“wet noodle”), There are some good corrados out there but as with any 20 year old car they tend to be overdue for a lot of TLC and parts replacement. My daily driver is a TDI Corrado and it’s a blast for what I use it for. No Corrado will ever be the fastest or best handling car on the road but it’s a fun fairly rare car that gets complements from other car enthusiasts. Frank (skinny fat guy) ps: nice posting date