Column: Getting a Drive-Thru Burrito in a Borrowed Ferrari

J.G.
By J.G. Pasterjak
Jan 3, 2021 | Ferrari, Columns, 328 GTS | Posted in Columns | From the Nov. 2020 issue | Never miss an article

Photography Credit: Chris Tropea

If you’ve been around our websites or social media accounts lately, you’ve probably seen some content we produced with an absolutely gorgeous white 1987 Ferrari 328 GTS. And you were probably like, “Hey, what are these guys doing with a Ferrari? Who let them get their juices all over that nice car?”

As with everything, there’s a behind-the-scenes story here, and while I’ll be writing some actual content for Classic Motorsports in addition to the video we’ve already produced with the Ferrari, the lasting effect of that car was not what I expected it to be. So, while you wait for the objective summary in our sister magazine, here’s the subjective portion of the story.

It began, as so many stories in my life for the past 30 years have, with a call from Tim. “Hey, do you have any space in your shop?” was the ask on that particular July 4th afternoon. 

These queries are not unusual in our world, as someone always needs space to temporarily store (or hide) a recent find or something they need to get out of their hair. It’s as much part of the job as proofreading or Photoshopping particularly embarrassing porno magazines out of pictures. “Yeah, I’ve got a spot,” was naturally my reply, expecting an awful Spitfire, slightly less awful Honda Civic, or just a barely identifiable pile of oxidized steel to occupy some of my floor space for a while.

Okay, cool, I’m dropping this Ferrari off in half an hour,” was his casual response.

Cue record screech and buggy-eye sound.

I still don’t know the entire details of the business arrangement that led to me babysitting someone else’s Ferrari for a month, but it had to do with some thoroughly squirrelbag deal that Tim made where he was getting a four-post lift from someone who mas moving their shop but the new place wasn’t ready yet and they needed a place to keep their Ferrari until something something and at that point my eyes just kind of glazed over and I was like, “Okay, cool. You know the gate code.”

And sure enough, when I got home from whatever thoroughly masked and social-distanced errand I was running that day, there was a sparkling white 328 GTS, built the same year I graduated high school, looking for all the world like the poster adorning my wall that same year, sitting in my shop with the keys on the center console.

Oh, did I mention that part of the “deal” of storing the car was that we got to drive it and do some editorial with it?


That night I texted the owner with a photo of its safe and secure resting location. His reply: “Drive it like it was meant to be driven. You have to shift it like you mean it.”

Well, you don’t have to tell me twice. Off to Taco Bell!

The first time you get a drive-thru burrito in someone else’s Ferrari is–and I’m not even exaggerating here–pretty effing spectacular. Doing mundane things in spectacular cars may be even more fun than doing spectacular things in them, since clearly that’s been done to death.

“Hi, can I take your order?”

“I’d like a bean burrito with extra onions. I’m in a Ferrari.”

“Uh, okay. Will there be anything el—”

“NO! Just that. I’m driving a Ferrari!”

“I… I didn’t ask what you were dri—”

“FERRARI! ARRRGGGHH!”

Okay, maybe I thought it was more fun than it actually was. But here’s the hidden secret that I’m still kind of wrapping my head around as I prepare to write the actual story for Classic Motorsports: Yes, the Ferrari was amazing, and driving it around a little bit and giving my wife and best friend a shotgun view of the “Miami Vice” life was pretty cool. But the most amazing thing about the car was how it made me appreciate my MR2 again. 

Yeah, if you go to our website now, you’ll also see a lot of content about my 1991 Toyota MR2 Turbo with the Gen IV 3S-GTE conversion from Prime MR2. Honestly, I had let the car sit a little too long and taken it for granted a bit. 

On one of my subsequent trips to Taco Bell in the Ferrari, it kind of struck me how I had a 2900ish-pound, 260ish-horsepower, mid-engine sports car of my own that I really needed to drive more, seeing as how I was having such a good time in someone else’s. 

And you know what? 

Haha! Psych! You’ll have to wait for the story to come out in Classic Motorsports to find out how I really think they compare.

Okay, no, I’m not that big of a jerk. I’ll at least give you a preview: It suffices to say that the Ferrari was the best thing that’s happened to my MR2 in years. Those two cars are proof that things can feel very different and very similar at the same time, and be world-class examples of similar things for different reasons. I’m excited to explore it more when I sit down to start writing. And I’m excited to drive my MR2 a bunch again. I have a borrowed Ferrari to thank for that.

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Comments
View comments on the GRM forums
noddaz
noddaz UltraDork
12/18/20 10:09 a.m.

So, how was the burrito?

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
12/18/20 10:10 a.m.

In reply to noddaz :

Yeah, good question. 

Stefan (Forum Supporter)
Stefan (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
12/18/20 10:45 a.m.
noddaz said:

So, how was the burrito?

why doesn't my car run like that?

I mean, it was Taco Bell, so as long as it didn't end with the "Taco Bell Bends" on the throne, it was good.

Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado
Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado Dork
12/18/20 10:47 a.m.

In reply to noddaz :

I'm good, thank you for asking.

Nicole Suddard
Nicole Suddard Marketing Coordinator
12/18/20 10:55 a.m.

Came for the Ferrari content and got a reminder that I still have work to do on the white MR2...

Now I know what I'm doing between Xmas and New Year's. 

codrus (Forum Supporter)
codrus (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand UberDork
12/18/20 11:13 a.m.
Stefan (Forum Supporter) said:
noddaz said:

So, how was the burrito?

why doesn't my car run like that?

I mean, it was Taco Bell, so as long as it didn't end with the "Taco Bell Bends" on the throne, it was good.

I'd be more worried about the Ferrari's driver's seat! :)

 

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
12/18/20 11:47 a.m.

It was a Taco Bell Burrito, so it exists in that reliable middle ground of never better than B-minus but never worse than C-plus. Let's face it, there was a reason that Taco Bell being the winner of the great fast food wars in Demolition Man made so much sense. It's the beige Honda minivan of food. Never exciting but always dependable and competent.

Anything brought home in a Ferrari is instantly one full letter grade better, though. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

 

bobzilla
bobzilla MegaDork
12/18/20 12:42 p.m.
codrus (Forum Supporter) said:
Stefan (Forum Supporter) said:
noddaz said:

So, how was the burrito?

why doesn't my car run like that?

I mean, it was Taco Bell, so as long as it didn't end with the "Taco Bell Bends" on the throne, it was good.

I'd be more worried about the Ferrari's driver's seat! :)

 

Only the weak have issues with TB. They will weed themselves out once TB takes over the world. 

Colin Wood
Colin Wood Associate Editor
12/18/20 1:01 p.m.

In reply to Nicole Suddard :

I came for the burrito content and got a reminder that I still can't afford a Ferrari.

Yet...

mke
mke HalfDork
12/18/20 8:23 p.m.

Some years back I had a guy nearly fall out the b'king drive though trying to get a better look at the 308, you know...when it had a running engine.  he asked a couple questions, mostly along the lines of "if you have a ferrari why are you at b'king?" ......he just couldn't wrap his head around what was happening.

The answer was "after buying it this is about the only place I can almost afford to eat" :)

dxman92
dxman92 Dork
12/19/20 6:29 p.m.

You can never go wrong with Taco Bell err Taco Hell. I'm still mad at them for taking away the seven layer burrito but have found a new go-to in the crunch wrap supreme.

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
12/19/20 7:25 p.m.
dxman92 said:

You can never go wrong with Taco Bell err Taco Hell. I'm still mad at them for taking away the seven layer burrito but have found a new go-to in the crunch wrap supreme.

It's the combo burrito I will always hold a candle for, but I feel your pain.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
12/19/20 10:45 p.m.

I can't be the only guy who's wanted to see a Demolition Man prequel about the franchise wars and how Taco Bell comes out on top. 

irish44j (Forum Supporter)
irish44j (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
12/19/20 11:27 p.m.
JG Pasterjak said:

It was a Taco Bell Burrito, so it exists in that reliable middle ground of never better than B-minus but never worse than C-plus. Let's face it, there was a reason that Taco Bell being the winner of the great fast food wars in Demolition Man made so much sense. It's the beige Honda minivan of food. Never exciting but always dependable and competent.

Anything brought home in a Ferrari is instantly one full letter grade better, though. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

 

This is how I feel about doing some mundane errand or fast-food drive-thru in my Porsche. Yes, it's a front-engined Porsche that I got for $1000 originally. No, it's not near the level of any Ferrari. But I find it super-cool to take a Guards Red Porsche (evena cheap one) to do something "usual." for some reason lol. Even if I do get dusted off the line in suburban ladies in new Camrys....

wspohn
wspohn Dork
12/20/20 12:58 p.m.

Up here in the Great White we have special insurance for classic cars that doesn't allow to and from work use, so we tend to drive classics on weekends just to get some seat time in them.  That's how I found out that the small trunk on the old Lambo would take two bags of fertilizer and that it was mistake to go through the drive-through at the local fast food outlet in my Jensen CV8 - it was right hand drive and while saying "Just toss the order in the window please" works alright for burgers, it really doesn't for drinks.

I also had trouble with crossing the border to the US in that car.  RHD and with manual wind up windows I of course got out of the car so I could come around to talk to the birder agent. He told me rather emphatically "Get back in the car" so I did - and just sat there until he finally came out to ask me why I hadn't lowered the window (that I couldn't reach sitting in the driver's seat).   Acted like I had driven that car just to piss him off....

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