Make time to check in on your friends | Column

David S.
By David S. Wallens
Jan 3, 2023 | Hans Mezger, Obituary, Column, Gary Anderson, Kirk F. White, Russel Tullius, Vic Elford, Bruce Meyers, Howard Liebengood, Dr. Fred Simeone | Posted in Columns | From the Nov. 2022 issue | Never miss an article

Photography Credit: Chris Tropea

The worst part of this job? It’s not the pace, the workload or the constant self-doubting. 

It’s writing obits for people you knew. In j-school, you learn that it’s going to be part of the drill. It’s one of those things that has to be done. 

I remember an assignment where we had to write our own obits. I know, a little ghoulish, but it taught us how to deal with the facts and the cards dealt our way. 

Late one evening, I got on-the-job training in such matters. I used to DJ at our college station–90.5 FM is WUOG, Athens–often doing a midnight to 3a.m. slot Wednesday nights. I loved having the place to myself: just me, the occasional caller and an entire library full of vinyl. 

Late one night I got a call from a buddy, the editor of the local music newspaper: A van carrying home half of The Jody Grind, an Atlanta band with a huge local following, was hit head-on. Performance artist and poet Deacon Lunchbox–Google him–was traveling with the band. There were no survivors. 

It wasn’t a rumor, and this was pre-internet. I was tasked with sharing the breaking news. 

This was personal, too. We saw the band every chance we got. While we weren’t on a first-name basis, perhaps they recognized us as regulars. 

But I did my job: I relayed the news. Then I put on their new CD and just sat there. So, this was life–and death. 

I have no idea how many obits I’ve written in my professional life. Many have been for legends in our industry. 

Kas Kastner ran Triumph’s factory competition department in the ’60s. Nissan would later tap him to run its racing program. Remember those Nissan GTP cars that dominated the ’80s IMSA scene? That was Kas’ work. 

Whenever we had a question for Kas, he never hesitated to offer an answer. Likewise, his emails ended with helpful advice: Never be beaten by equipment.

Kirk F. White’s name can be found on the cowl of the Ferrari 512M that Mark Donohue and David Hobbs drove to third place at Daytona in 1971. His partner in the effort was Roger Penske. 

Kirk more or less created the modern collector car auction and, as one of our locals, handled the concours judging at some of our $2000 Challenges. He was always quick to say hi, make pleasant conversation and, like Kas, answer all of our queries. 

Mike Cook worked in the PR departments for all the famed British brands: Triumph, MG, Austin-Healey, Jaguar and Land Rover. If I needed a photo from back in the day, he had it. He was always kind. 

And there have been many more: Porsche racing legend Vic Elford; Bruce Meyers, the father of the dune buggy; and Hans Mezger, the engineer responsible for so many iconic Porsche creations, including the brand’s famed, air-cooled 911 engine. The most recent one, I think, was for Dr. Fred Simeone, the neurosurgeon from a working-class neighborhood who amassed one of the world’s most important collections of race cars. 

I’ve also written obits for people I have worked with: Russel Tullius wrote a piece or two for us over at Classic Motorsports, while Gary Anderson led that title right after we purchased it. 

The one that might haunt me the most: the January 9, 2021, death of Howard Liebengood, 51. People knew him as Howie, and he died by suicide. He is survived by his wife and siblings. 

Howie was a U.S. Capitol Police officer assigned to the Senate Division. He was on duty January 6. According to various news accounts, he responded to the insurrection.

My deepest sympathies to the families of Capitol Police Officers Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood,” tweeted former Secretary of State and current Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry. “During my last years in office, Howie was stationed next to one of our offices in the Russell Building - doors where everyone from school groups to protesters entered/exited.

Howie always had a smile on his face, but he also showed great care for the safety of the young staff who worked behind our office doors. A tragic loss of two patriots who spent their careers protecting the halls of democracy.”

Why did I write an obit for Howie? He raced cars back in the day–formula cars as well the door-slammers that predated today’s IMSA Michelin Pilot Challenge. He had teamed up with Andy Lally, Randy Pobst and the Nonnamakers, all names with close ties to GRM. Andy and Howie paired up to win the 2000 Motorola Cup title in an E36-chassis BMW.

I met Howie at Sebring in the ’90s. He joined the Capitol Police force in 2005, and, sadly, we lost touch and never did the big social media reconnect. Somewhere at our office there’s still a manila file with his name on it. 

A quote from my friend Patrick, who hosts the “Crash & Ride” podcast about musicians’ encounters with anxiety and depression, keeps going through my head: Check in on your buds.

Real pubs have obits in the can. Sadly, we’re not that organized–and just don’t have that much extra capacity.

But we still drop everything to write them. Why? Put the answer somewhere between grief, closure and respect.

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Comments
Colin Wood
Colin Wood Associate Editor
10/10/22 1:18 p.m.

Slowly learning this one. I'm thankful to not have lost anyone recently, but it's shocking how quickly I've fallen out of touch with friends from college–which was only about 5 years ago.

I'd say today is a good day for me to reach out on social media.

Junkers
Junkers New Reader
10/10/22 3:16 p.m.

Why do people fawn over their friends/family, whether living or dead?  It's a waste of time and it sets you up to fail by causing you to fall to judgement.  Worse yet, you get trapped into feeding a dirty ego - first yours so you can hope for them to feed yours. 

It may be a Polish saying - i don't remember - but it seems to fit the bill here, "Every monster has a lover."

Tom1200
Tom1200 UberDork
10/10/22 4:39 p.m.

Learn from the Irish (me mum is half Irish).  We lean more toward the celebration of life (sometimes hard when dealing with young people); I miss my dad every day but he lived life to the fullest. My father's funeral was full of stories and smiles. 

As for keeping touch; I'm privileged to meet up with a group of BMX & Motocross riders/racers at a reunion party. I just got on social media 2 1/2 years ago and that was how I found out about the reunion.  I went to high school with a number of these folks. They are a bunch of goofballs (much like here) and it's wonderful.

I have this saying when people I know pass "keep them in your heart every day".

  

03Panther
03Panther PowerDork
10/10/22 6:04 p.m.

In reply to Tom1200 :

My favorite Irish joke explains it well:

The only difference between an Irish wake, and an Irish wedding? One less drunken...

03Panther
03Panther PowerDork
10/10/22 6:05 p.m.

In reply to Junkers :

You may mean all of that to be different than as read. But as read? I hope your not as huge a negitive azz hat as ya sound. 
Either that or I'm missing something. 

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
10/10/22 8:46 p.m.

I hope I read that wrong too.

Tom1200
Tom1200 UberDork
10/10/22 9:58 p.m.
03Panther said:

In reply to Tom1200 :

My favorite Irish joke explains it well:

The only difference between an Irish wake, and an Irish wedding? One less drunken...

Ar ya sane way drenk all da time ten?

300zxfreak
300zxfreak Reader
10/10/22 10:09 p.m.

In reply to 03Panther :

I don't think you're missing anything, but he certainly is.

03Panther
03Panther PowerDork
10/10/22 10:24 p.m.

In reply to 300zxfreak :

It's been pointed out I can be a bit to harsh, so I'm trying not to interpret wrong!

Smarter me would leave it alone completely. Just can't!

03Panther
03Panther PowerDork
10/10/22 10:24 p.m.

In reply to Tom1200 :

I don't want a sad wake - have a drink for me! Love it!

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