Why so Sporty?

David S.
By David S. Wallens
Dec 29, 2014 | Pontiac | Posted in Columns | From the Feb. 2014 issue | Never miss an article

Here’s something you probably didn’t know about me: I don’t spend a lot of time kicking tires. Once I do my research, I find the right car and pounce.

When I bought my Miata all those years ago, it was the only one that I test-drove. Ditto my Mini Cooper. And Porsche 911. And all those Civics and CRXs.

Additionally, every car I have ever owned is what you could call sporty–even the 1982 Accord that I drove in college was a five-speed, which seemed sporty to me because it was way cooler than walking everywhere or bumming rides.

However, every now and then I get the itch for a cruiser–something that totally doesn’t fit my MO. In my mind, a true cruiser requires three things: chrome bumpers, a V8 engine and automatic on the column. You might have your own definition, and that’s what makes this country great. (Well, that and Waffle House.)

So, like I was saying, every now and then I get that itch.

During a recent trip up to Michigan to see Carl Heideman, it got itchier–probably because I got to drive his 1966 Plymouth Fury III wagon.

Was it fast? Nope.

Did it offer amazing handling? Nope.

Carl and I took it to dinner one evening–along with his boys and his awesome shop manager, Alan–and it was just a delightful summer drive. The windows were down and everyone pretty much had their own space. I sat in the way-back and just watched everyone else relax as the beautiful western Michigan scenery passed by.

I had that itch.

Carl, ever practical, helped me narrow things down a bit. And, as usual, he was right.

Something built past about 1970, he reasoned, would be a bit more practical: headrests, three-point seat belts, and a greater likelihood of having factory air. My grandparents had a few 1971-’76 Chevy Impalas back in the day, so that’s where the search started. I like their Coke-bottle body lines, plus there’s a tingle of nostalgia for me.

Those cars now face the donk tax, so I had to scratch them out. The GM wagons from that era, however, are still reasonably priced–easily less than $5000 for a clean one. Plus, they have the totally awesome Glide Away tailgate. Turn the key, and the rear window retracts into the roof while the tailgate slides into the floor. Magic.

I kept an eye on the online classifieds until I spied a promising ad: 1975 Pontiac Catalina Safari. It was “just” the regular Safari, not the Grand Safari, so it didn’t have the woody trim, third-row seat or “modern” square headlamps. In my book, I was totally okay with that. It also had the 400-cubic-inch engine, meaning fuel economy would simply be slightly miserable instead of totally miserable.

My three main requirements were present: V8, automatic and those all-important chrome bumpers. And the Pontiacness added just the right dash of sport.

So my wife and I drove to Orlando to check it out. Turns out it was an estate sale, as the original owner’s adult daughter was selling the car. Dad bought the wagon new, and his wife drove it until her recent passing. With the car came all of the paperwork dating back to the original service. Mileage was about 103,000, and it was totally original and rust free. It wasn’t 100-percent mint, but I’d call it a great driver. The color combo was perfect, too: light gray with a disco red interior.

Sold. We didn’t even haggle on price.

A couple months later, I can say it delivers exactly as promised.

It cruises. It’s like driving a couch. Put it in drive and watch the rest of the world from behind that long, long hood. Even after the most stressful day at the office, I smile as I yank the shifter from P to R.

It’s a nostalgic experience without being too old-timey. The wagon easily cruises at 75 mph. It also runs on regular unleaded gas. The 360-degree view provided by all that glass is just amazing. And despite weighing about 5200 pounds, it doesn’t feel heavy.

As a bonus, it carries anything. At about 19 feet long, there’s not much small in this one.

And to be honest, I don’t even care about the gas. I figure it’s cheaper than therapy.

As a result, I drive it everywhere: the office, the supermarket, dinner, the liquor store, rocket launches, guitar lessons, Porsche club events. Surprisingly, I got nearly 15 mpg while trucking to a friend’s garage party in Tampa. You can follow all the exploits on our Classic Motorsports website, too.

And it gets people talking. All the damn time.

I have driven a lot of neat cars in my life, from Ferraris and Vipers to Jaguars and Porsches–including my own. I can’t remember anything that got this much attention. Senior citizens ask about it. Little kids step on their tippy-toes to peek inside. I get comments and questions in the Publix parking lot. And when pumping gas. And at the bowling alley. And at stoplights. And today, at a little lunch cafe near our office.

I’m not in it for the attention, but it’s neat to see people interested in a car, even if it’s something that was once shunned as a simple peoplemover. (True story: My parents only recently purchased their first wagon.) At the end of the day, remember, we play with cars for one simple reason: to have fun.

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Comments
ultraclyde
ultraclyde SuperDork
12/29/14 2:24 p.m.

I daily drove a 1970 Impala from 2000 - 2005. Nothing fancy, a 4dr sedan with a 350. It got more attention than anything else I've ever had. It was great on summer evenings - windows down, bare feet on those massive pedals, radio on and my sweetie next to me on the bench seat. There is something special about those cars.

OldGray320i
OldGray320i Reader
12/29/14 2:29 p.m.

73 Rivera GS, with the 455.

I wish i'd kept that car. So much cool.

Kenny_McCormic
Kenny_McCormic PowerDork
12/29/14 2:51 p.m.

In reply to ultraclyde:

There's a reason the 65-70 B body is the most produced car ever (going by units/year)

bravenrace
bravenrace MegaDork
12/29/14 5:30 p.m.

In college I had a 71 Buick Electra 225. We used to put 8 people in that thing to drive to concerts at Blossom Music Center. I will have one again.

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
12/29/14 6:24 p.m.

By the way, drove the wagon to the office today. Pretty sure I drove it to the office every day last week, too. Plus we took it to DeLand this weekend--figure 30-ish minutes each way. It just makes me happy.

kazoospec
kazoospec Dork
12/29/14 7:12 p.m.

$1.89 gas is liberating, isn't it?

Gearheadotaku
Gearheadotaku GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
12/29/14 7:35 p.m.

Was in north Georgia this fall for a family visit while enroute to the Challenge. Went to dinner with my brother and Dad, taking his '66 Chevelle. This isn't a pro touring car or drag machine. It's a 4 door hardtop with a mild 327 and an automatic. Picked a place 25 miles from home and cruised at 55 over two lane roads, the low growl of the Chevy playing back ground music through the open windows to our conversation. Couldn't tell you what we talked about, but could have driven all night and never stopped smiling.

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
12/29/14 8:14 p.m.
kazoospec wrote: $1.89 gas is liberating, isn't it?

Plus it's not that far of a drive--like 6 miles each way. I figure it's worth it.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
12/29/14 8:25 p.m.

I think the perfect cruiser would be some huge 70 boat, clean as a whistle or haggard to hell, on bags with some nice plus sized wheels. Done. Forever.

novaderrik
novaderrik PowerDork
12/29/14 8:26 p.m.

if 1/8 of everyone that buys a new SUV for the room would start looking at big old wagons, they'd fall in love and the manufacturers would have to start making them again..

out of all the cars that i've had (easily approaching the 200 mark), i'd have to say that my favorite cruiser was my 68 Chevelle Nomad wagon with the 307/powerglide/4 wheel power drums/big floor mat instead of carpet/black vinyl bench seats combination was the single best for just driving to nowhere in particular. gotta get 9 other people some place 50 miles away? pile them in and go.. my 66 Lincoln Continental 4 door comes in a close second..

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