WTB: my next forever disappointment vehicle

I'm curious how clean the interior is in a Car Detailer's van?  Is it like the cobbler's kids who never have shoes or is a showroom of how a vehicle should be maintained?  

Or, now with no where to keep the detailing equipment, with the van leaving, did the seller cave and say, "for $500 more I'll include the detailing products."  And, then did Curtis stay to condense the one week detail training into one day...a really busy day.  

Or, should we be concerned that the FB listing is still live???
EDIT: FB add now says SOLD

Maybe they hit it off and Curtis is hanging out for a long weekend.

Or ... Curtis was looking the van over and the seller turned his back for a minute.  Curtis having already noticed that the seller had the notarized title ready saw his opportunity.  He quickly hit the seller over the head with a buffer and after checking to make sure he was out, grabbed the title, and loaded up the van.  Curtis is now laying low for a few days so that the po-po can't find him.

Or ... while Curtis was loading his brand new to him van up a lady driving by stopped and rolled down the window.  She explained that she believed in love at first sight and upon seeing that most awesomest van in the world just had to meet it's owner.  Curtis explained that he had just bought it and let her check it out.  As she was checking it out she said that she couldn't offer much to such a handsome man with such obviously high standards and taste.  She was just a widow that had lost her first husband years ago and hadn't found love since.  The millions of dollars that he left her couldn't comfort her like a understanding lover such as Curtis.  So Curtis had his dad tow the van to PA while he's currently on her private jet flying to Vegas so that they can get married tonight.

Stampie (FS) said:

Or ... while Curtis was loading his brand new to him van up a lady driving by stopped and rolled down the window.  She explained that she believed in love at first sight and upon seeing that most awesomest van in the world just had to meet it's owner.  Curtis explained that he had just bought it and let her check it out.  As she was checking it out she said that she couldn't offer much to such a handsome man with such obviously high standards and taste.  She was just a widow that had lost her first husband years ago and hadn't found love since.  The millions of dollars that he left her couldn't comfort her like a understanding lover such as Curtis.  So Curtis had his dad tow the van to PA while he's currently on her private jet flying to Vegas so that they can get married tonight.

This seems like the most likely, although I also see the wedding and honeymoon happening in the van that got them together.

You know, all romantic and E36 M3

I think we need to have continually escalating theories until Curtis chimes in.  I am not creative enough to come up with anything better than Stampie's last one, though.

eastsideTim said:

I think we need to have continually escalating theories until Curtis chimes in.  I am not creative enough to come up with anything better than Stampie's last one, though.

Well....I mean.....marvel has taught us that you can enter the quantrum realm thru a van so......

old curtis could tell stories that would make yalls stories blush

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) said:

old curtis could tell stories that would make yalls stories blush

The Curtis on the forum now is a younger time traveling version?!?

Or the older version traveled back in time, possibly thru a time portal in his van, and that's the current version?!?

Stampie (FS) said:

Or ... while Curtis was loading his brand new to him van up a lady driving by stopped and rolled down the window.  She explained that she believed in love at first sight and upon seeing that most awesomest van in the world just had to meet it's owner.  Curtis explained that he had just bought it and let her check it out.  As she was checking it out she said that she couldn't offer much to such a handsome man with such obviously high standards and taste.  She was just a widow that had lost her first husband years ago and hadn't found love since.  The millions of dollars that he left her couldn't comfort her like a understanding lover such as Curtis.  So Curtis had his dad tow the van to PA while he's currently on her private jet flying to Vegas so that they can get married tonight.

Hey why didnlt y'all tell me there was a GRM "AS THE TURD WHIRLZ"  soap ?????    psssst she isn't that Brazilian diplomats wife is she ????

Or ... everything with the deal went fine but as they left the house Curtis noticed a black car down the block start up and follow them down the road.  It followed them onto the highway but since they weren't far from it in the first place Curtis didn't think much of it.  At the first gas stop the black car continued on but Curtis' 6th sense kicked in when a simular car but white this time followed them onto the highway heading north.  Curtis, still trying to cool down the heat from his shoot out a few months ago with DHS agents over the immigant he had be granting sanctuary, then noticed the helicopters following in a circle about a mile out from them.  He finally felt relief as he came up on the tunnels in WV.  No way can the helicopters follow and if he slowed down enough the white car would have to play it's hand.  Sure enough as they approached the first tunnel the helicopters pulled away.  The white car was only a few hundred yards behind with no one in between as Curtis entered the tunnel.  Curtis knew the poop had hit the fan when all of a sudden the white car slammed on brakes and sliding blocked the tunnel entrance by turning 90 degrees.  Curtis hit the gas and the tow rig sped up hitting 65, 70, 75, then it cut out.  As it rolled to a stop in the middle of the tunnel Curtis noticed doors opening on the sides and was quickly surrounded by 20 men with guns.  A man in a black suit walked up to his window and said "I'm with the ISA and we've been watching you.  We need a man with your theater skills.  Come with us."  To be continued ...

Stampie (FS) said:

Or ... everything with the deal went fine but as they left the house Curtis noticed a black car down the block start up and follow them down the road.  It followed them onto the highway but since they weren't far from it in the first place Curtis didn't think much of it.  At the first gas stop the black car continued on but Curtis' 6th sense kicked in when a simular car but white this time followed them onto the highway heading north.  Curtis, still trying to cool down the heat from his shoot out a few months ago with DHS agents over the immigant he had be granting sanctuary, then noticed the helicopters following in a circle about a mile out from them.  He finally felt relief as he came up on the tunnels in WV.  No way can the helicopters follow and if he slowed down enough the white car would have to play it's hand.  Sure enough as they approached the first tunnel the helicopters pulled away.  The white car was only a few hundred yards behind with no one in between as Curtis entered the tunnel.  Curtis knew the poop had hit the fan when all of a sudden the white car slammed on brakes and sliding blocked the tunnel entrance buy turning 90 degrees.  Curtis hit the gas and the tow rig sped up hitting 65, 70, 75, then it cut out.  As it rolled to a stop in the middle of the tunnel Curtis noticed doors opening on the sides and was quickly surrounded by 20 men with guns.  A man in a black suit walked up to his window and said "I'm with the ISA and we've been watching you.  We need a man with your theater skills.  Come with us."  To be continued ...

BRAVO!!!!! BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!!........Hey when can I get the comic book?    I presume by all this you're "off"  the clock eh?......with an adult beverage me thinks 

In reply to 759NRNG (Forum Partidario) :

First ones were paid for my employer as it's been a real slow day.  Last one was only after a few sips of beer.

Yes, I'm HiJacking'  here so sue me but your treatise IMO needs to be performed in three parts 'poolside' at BWGG for this year challenge attendees. 

Curtis glanced over to his dad and the man stated "Your dad is free to go.  You'll return to him soon."  Curtis sent his dad on his way and walked behind the man as he headed towards one of the doors.  As they went through the door the armed men followed behind.  Curtis saw a long man wide passageway that seems to slowly curve to the left.  There were lights along the bottom lighting the way.  Right as he heard the door close behind him he felt the man behind him place a rag over his mouth and nose and within seconds darkness consumed his vision.  

When he awoke hours later he was in a hospital bed in a room of stainless steel walls and no windows.  He soon discovered that his arms and legs were strapped to the bed.  The man in the suit walked within his vision seconds later and greeted Curtis with "I got worried there, John got a little overzealous with the chloroform."  "We're preparing your plane but first you have two choices.  Either face the judge and the long sentence you'll get from your shootout or do what we need and everything will be forgotten."

Curtis knowing that he had floors that still needed to be repaired quickly agreed to do whatever they needed so that he could avoid the jail time he surely would face.  As the man walked away he told the orderlies "Remove the straps and I'll brief him on the plane."

They soon had Curtis out of the bed and while he was still a little groggy he wasn't too far off a good evening with a couple of drinks.  They helped him out of the room and out a side door.  As he walked into the sunlight Curtis realized that he was at an air base.  All military planes except the one they seemed to be leading him to.  It looked to be a Airbus A220 painted in KAL livery.  Once inside Curtis saw that this wasn't a normal civilian airplane.  The interior had been stripped out and replaced with military jump seats at the front and rear but the middle third of the plane was the strangest.  In the middle sat a normal conference table with 8 seats around it.

To be continued ...

In reply to Stampie (FS) :

I'm guessing this ends with a USO production in a foreign county of Guys and Dolls and the shipment of "the set" was lost at sea.  This result in the "emergency need" for someone to be brought in a build a new set.  There is only one man in the world for the job, our super hero... StageCraft Man!!!!   

Stampie (FS) said:

Curtis glanced over to his dad and the man stated "Your dad is free to go.  You'll return to him soon."  Curtis sent his dad on his way and walked behind the man as he headed towards one of the doors.  As they went through the door the armed men followed behind.  Curtis saw a long man wide passageway that seems to slowly curve to the left.  There were lights along the bottom lighting the way.  Right as he heard the door close behind him he felt the man behind him place a rag over his mouth and nose and within seconds darkness consumed his vision.  

When he awoke hours later he was in a hospital bed in a room of stainless steel walls and no windows.  He soon discovered that his arms and legs were strapped to the bed.  The man in the suit walked within his vision seconds later and greeted Curtis with "I got worried there, John got a little overzealous with the chloroform."  "We're preparing your plane but first you have two choices.  Either face the judge and the long sentence you'll get from your shootout or do what we need and everything will be forgotten."

Curtis knowing that he had floors that still needed to be repaired quickly agreed to do whatever they needed so that he could avoid the jail time he surely would face.  As the man walked away he told the orderlies "Remove the straps and I'll brief him on the plane."

They soon had Curtis out of the bed and while he was still a little groggy he wasn't too far off a good evening with a couple of drinks.  They helped him out of the room and out a side door.  As he walked into the sunlight Curtis realized that he was at an air base.  All military planes except the one they seemed to be leading him to.  It looked to be a Airbus A220 painted in KAL livery.  Once inside Curtis saw that this wasn't a normal civilian airplane.  The interior had been stripped out and replaced with military jump seats at the front and rear but the middle third of the plane was the strangest.  In the middle sat a normal conference table with 8 seats around it.

To be continued ...

UH berkin' amazing.!!!!!.....how long have you been waiting for this opportunity to share this extraordinary play/scriptwriting talent....I'm truly impressed senior STAMPS!!!!

Curtis was lead to the table and sat down in the middle seat.  The man in the suit sat down opposite him.  Two men sat on the side of Curtis as did two men on to the side of the man.  At the ends of the table were two women.  Curtis noticed that other than the man and himself all of them seemed to be of Asian background.

After they sat down what Curtis thought may be the same 20 men with guns boarded the plane and sat in the jump seats front and rear.  For some reason they didn't seem interested in what was happening around them.  They only seems to focus on Curtis

Shortly after they sat down the plane started moving and no one spoke as it roll onto the runway and took off.  After reaching cruising attitude the man spoke saying "This is my team.  No need to know their names but know that they are here to help you succeed.  The men you see around us are here in case you don't want to succeed."

The man paused and looking at his team he began talking again "Just like his father Kim Jung-un has a theater fetish.  Last week we got word out of North Korea that he ordered the kidnapping of Chino Yoshiro.  As you know Yoshiro is the lead set designer for the New National Theater, Tokyo in Shinjuku." 

"We have intercepted the North Korean team sent to Japan.  The people sitting here at the table are their replacements.  You are the replacement for Yoshiro.  I see the doubt on your face but while Yoshiro's father is Japanese his mother is American and he spent his early years in the US.  You actually are close to his appearance and with some work we think we can get you to pass as him."

"We have 16 hours before we land at Osan Air Force base.  From there we have 3 hours to deliver you to Jung-un.  Your job is to meet our agent in Pyongyang and help them remove Jung-un."

... to be continued

Do I need to get comfortable and stay up all night......just wonderin'????

In reply to 759NRNG (Forum Partidario) :

Good question.  I have a 12 year old I need to get to bed and tonight is my Friday so I'm worn out.

But always remember to say..."no anchovies, please"

Curtis tried to sleep the rest of the flight and the refueling at Edwards AFB in California.  He kept thinking how crazy were these people to send him to North Korea?  He finally dozed off over the north Pacific only to be woken up by the landing at Osan AFB.  The A220 didn't taxi to the normal base operations but instead taxied to the north east side of the field and parked beside some haz gens.  Everyone unloaded and walked to one of the haz gens that was closed.  As Curtis walked inside he was surprised to find an Antonov An-2 being prepared for take off.

"No way in hell you want me to get into that thing!" Curtis told no one in particular.  The man in the suit replied "They can always find a spot for your body out back." gesturing towards the armed group.  "Here's the plan.  This is the plane we captured with the DPRK commandos.  The seven of you will fly to a small air field outside of Pyongyang.  Our inside contact will meet you there.  Our guys will stay with the plane.  Our contact will get you inside security and provide you with whatever you need to take care of Jung-un.

They loaded up and slowly took off and headed north.  The DMZ was only 60 miles away but as slow as the AN-2 was Curtis figured he could fly there faster.  They flew low and slow around the outpost along the line using the cover of night to hide them visually.  Curtis was amazed to see the country side go dark underneath the plane as he realized they were now north of the line.

About an hour later one of the replacement commandos picked up a satellite phone and after a quick conversation got a real worried look on her face.  She came over to Curtis "There's a problem.  Our contact was executed yesterday.  Not the first time he's killed a family member.  We're still on, you'll just have to wing it.  We land in 10."

... to be continued

You guys hit the nail on the head.  All of that is true.  Well, mostly.

It was a great trip.  Dad and I left at about 9 in the morning.  Mom had insisted on packing lunch so we had a lovely picnic courtesy of Mom.  Mom doesn't take food lightly.  Ham, swiss, homemade mustard, a block of cheddar, stuff to make salads in ziploc bags, banana peppers, homemade pickles, and chocolate milk. 

We took Dad's dually and the trailer.  We got to Kernersville (seller had family there) and got super lucky with the hotel I booked.  $79 for a room that could easily have been $250.  Seriously nicer than expected.  The guy who checked us in saw my ID and remarked that he had just moved to NC last week from a house about 1 mile away from mine in PA.  Dad and I ordered a pizza and got a six pack and chilled.  Yesterday morning we had a hot breakfast at the hotel.  I met the seller at his grandfather's house, I looked the van over (Secretariata had done an amazing job looking at it for me).  No surprises.  The seller and I took it for a spin for 20 minutes or so, and stopped in at a used car lot that used to be owned by his family to get the title notarized.  The seller is me 20 years ago, so we hit it off.

Best part about going to that used lot for notarizing was the showroom was full of 60s and 70s era Fuselage and Slabside Mopars.  He had a 1970 Chrysler 300 coupe, red with a white vinyl top and white interior that was just glorious.  He also had a 68 Newport that showed 24k on the odometer and I believe it. I was wishing I had brought a 2-car trailer (or maybe glad I didn't)

The only snag we ran into was that the hitch insert we brought didn't have quite enough drop.  We figured the van would squish things down to level out the trailer, but the dually refused to squat.  We thought for sure the rear tires on the trailer would blow after 20 miles, but they made the whole trip back only getting slightly warm.

We left straight from the seller's house and hit the road north.  We looked for some BBQ for lunch and found one, but it was closed, so instead we had some of the best fried chicken I think we've ever had from a gas station.  We made it home and Mom had whipped up a "small" meal of venison steaks, spinach salad, coconut cream pie with a walnut crust, and root beer cake.

Today I'll take it to the notary and get tags.

I'm pleased as punch

The van needs a name.  And maybe a personalized plate just because.

The interior of the van is clean, but used.  The rear seats had been out for much of its life so they look brand new.  The carpet shows signs of detailing products being spilled and that sort of thing, but otherwise it smells like a daisy.

And P.S.... if you've never towed with a Duramax, do it.  You'll never want to tow with a gas vehicle again.  With the exception of merging on a highway, I never (and I mean never) used more than about 1/4 throttle, even in the mountains.