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thedoc GRM+ Memberand Reader
5/8/19 2:10 p.m.

I have this one bird who has fallen in love with my car.  I park in the morning and it perches on the side mirror and greets me. No kidding.  Then it sits on the mirrors, craps down the door and craps on the windshield for good measure.

I have put bags on the mirrors and bags on the windshield.  It just keeps on coming back.

I'm going to buy some balloons that scare crows away, but thought I'd give the forum a shout as well.


Rodan HalfDork
5/8/19 2:17 p.m.

#9 shot...


In all seriousness, I have the same problem this time of year.  I've been told they like to admire themselves in the glass, don't know if that's true.  I've also tried bags, which will work on the mirrors, but then they just perch on the door.

I was thinking about buying some of the spike strips, but the reviews on Amazon are full of pics of birds perching on the spikes...

Professor_Brap GRM+ Memberand Dork
5/8/19 2:25 p.m.

Im into the balloon method. 

Dr. Hess
Dr. Hess MegaDork
5/8/19 2:26 p.m.

I've wrapped a cloth around the mirror and it helps, but there's only one solution:  Bullet.  Or a pellet.  Or a BB.  Depending on where you live. 

californiamilleghia HalfDork
5/8/19 2:29 p.m.

Tie something pointed onto the mirror, a. Wire brush pointing upwards , something like that.

Uncomfortable for the bird to sit on.....

ebonyandivory PowerDork
5/8/19 3:12 p.m.

Hang a bird feeder near but away from your car. It’s that, a cat or “two in the hat” (from a pellet gun).



RevRico PowerDork
5/8/19 3:13 p.m.

Put out a bowl of dry rice and crushed alkaseltzer. 

Tom_Spangler GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
5/8/19 3:15 p.m.

Maybe try one of those big owl decoys?

thedoc GRM+ Memberand Reader
5/8/19 4:05 p.m.

Thanks guys.

I think I am going to get a balloon.  I saw one youtuber that put the bags on the mirrors and toy dinosaurs on top of that.  Said it worked.  I cannot shot the think bc of city regs, plus for sure someone in my building would turn me in!  If it wasn't for the crap it would be funny.  If it was larger than a sparrow I'd try and shoot it, the heck with the Audubon club!

ebonyandivory PowerDork
5/8/19 4:26 p.m.
thedoc said:

... the heck with the Audubon club!

Plus they’re in Germany!


scottdownsouth Reader
5/8/19 4:51 p.m.

Super loud horn ? Old model A coil with nice perch wired up to it ? One of the kids RC drone to chase it ? 

GameboyRMH GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
5/8/19 4:53 p.m.

Large exotic tropical birds take mighty dumps on my cars all the time, I'll have to look into these scarecrow balloons.

Tyler H
Tyler H GRM+ Memberand UberDork
5/8/19 5:10 p.m.

Hit Craigslist for a free bug zapper.  Remove the transformer and mesh and install on your mirror.  Now it's a bird zapper.

irish44j MegaDork
5/8/19 5:41 p.m.

I park my 924 on the side of the driveway that has a towering oak over it. Aside from annoying oak clusters and acorns, birds also like to crap on it (I've heard them tweeting away about "not a REAL Porsche" while doing so). 

Anyhow, the solution is car cover. For some reason they never crap on it when i have the cover on. Ever. But if I take the cover off, there will be a crap on it within 10 minutes. True story. 

68TR250 Reader
5/8/19 11:16 p.m.

Are they cardinals?  They are very territorial and when they see their reflection they will perch nearby ( on the mirrors ) and try to fight their reflection.

I put a trash bag over the window and mirror and that alleviated the problem.

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
5/8/19 11:36 p.m.

Yeah a friend of mine had a bird crap on his Mustang INSIDE his garage just after he washed it. It sleeps under a cover now. As does his 135i.

The0retical UberDork
5/9/19 12:24 a.m.

Throw a fist full of crackers on the neighbors car every morning to train it to go there.

Wally MegaDork
5/9/19 5:45 a.m.
Tom_Spangler said:

Maybe try one of those big owl decoys?

We have a few of those decoys at work.  They move, make noise, and are completely covered in pigeon crap a week after they go up.

thedoc GRM+ Memberand Reader
5/9/19 8:18 a.m.

In reply to Wally :

I was going to try one of those ballon type things.  It has eyes on it.

I can't win, this thing is now at the back of the car since I have stuff all over the font.

I have a great spot with my car, it won't get dented where I am, that's why I'd like to stay where I am

thedoc GRM+ Memberand Reader
5/9/19 8:20 a.m.

In reply to Daylan C :

Weird.  I was home on Tuesday and the same type of bird came into my garage for a visit.  I also have a mustang.

I just started using meguiars hybrid ceramic wax.  I wonder if the bird likes the scent?


Curtis GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
5/9/19 9:11 a.m.

I would honestly just put a coat of wax on it and rinse it off.  This is mating season.  He/She is protecting their territory.  In two weeks when the little ones leave the nest, it won't be an issue anymore.

Birds are attracted to mirrors for two reasons; A) they're confused by the reflection and it triggers their natural instinct to protect, and B) when not in child-rearing mode (springtime) they are more social and are intrigued by the reflection.  For this reason, you are supposed to put a mirror in the cage of a pet bird to give it "company" but if you have a pair you are supposed to take the mirror out.

EvanB GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
5/9/19 9:28 a.m.
thedoc said:

I'm going to buy some balloons that scare crows away, but thought I'd give the forum a shout as well.


I first read this as balloons that scare cows away and was really interested to see what they look like. 

thedoc GRM+ Memberand Reader
5/9/19 9:56 a.m.

In reply to EvanB :

just over an hour and so far, so good

1988RedT2 UltimaDork
5/9/19 10:58 a.m.

If you drive a beat up old POS, two things:

1. Birds don't crap on it.

2. You don't care if they do.

This is part of "The Joy of Driving Junk," an entire vehicular philosophy that can be very rewarding and can free your mind from what are really very trivial worries about your car.  One day I will commit the idea to writing and submit it to The Atlantic.

Of course, now that I'm driving a brand new Mazda CX-9, I'm back to fretting over bird poop, which leads us to two things:

1. Park inside.

2. If you get (s)hit, wipe it off immediately.  Keep some spray detailer and a roll of paper towels in the car.

Daylan C
Daylan C UltraDork
5/9/19 11:07 a.m.

In reply to thedoc :

I'm not sure what sort of cleaners or wax he used. But the garage in question was originally just built as a storage building for farm equipment and had birds nesting in it for the longest time. The Mustang in question is a surprisingly minty '91 LX hatch pro touring car with way too much money in speed parts soaked up into it.

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