Some people–Vanderbilts, Rockefellers, Hearsts– inherit great wealth. Mannings and Andrettis have amazing athletic abilities passed down through the generations, while Barrymores, Carradines and Clooneys display multi-generational talent on stage and screen.
I got a spastic colon.
Apparently my squat, potato-picking, eastern European ancestors passed on many stout traits, but bowel stability wasn’t one of them. While it’s normally a condition …
great potty humor.... and no I didn't read on, stopped @ the warning...
Best car article ever.
I am either highly sympathetic or just pathetic. With 4 grandchildren I have done my share of diapers and given care to elderly in-laws. There is only so much seriousness that can be allocated for bowel problems before we let go and just laugh about the crap that happens. May all of your crisis be met with clean restrooms next to an empty parking spot!
I feel your (abdominal) pain. Perhaps its not genetic but more geographic. Seemed to also afflict the early astronauts based at Canaveral. Maybe some localized. parasite unique to the area. Yeah...that's it. An affliction you share with the heroic star voyagers.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
As someone who's recently discovered that I'm allergic to some processed dairy products, I can feel your pain. I've gotten mine down to a science and plan on being near the throne three hours after eating the offending food.
Daughter in law's got Crohn's Disease, not as infuriating as your JG, but given the opportunity I'd pass.
You have my sympathy.
As someone who suffers apparently random IBS-D, which has gotten better as I've aged thankfully, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who suffers from this. Was particularly bad at auto-x last month, our portajohn is on the far side of the course, so waiting for intermission, trying to hold good times, then duckwalking across the lot... Barely made it in time. Haven't always been so lucky.
Great stories, I'll add one of my own.
I'll start by saying I don't have any bowel issues other than I'm not very regular.
When I first starting dating the girl who would become my wife we lived about 80 miles apart. We were both going to school so on friday afternoons I would pack up and go stay with her until O'dark thirty on Monday mornings and then head back for the week. On this particular weekend we ended up going camping with a large group of people. It was a drunken debacle and a lot of fun. However, being around strange people, uncommon location ect. I didn't have a number 2 all weekend. So on Monday morning, I'm driving my hungover self back to school through the rolling wheat country of the palouse. When about half way home the urge strikes. Not a simple nudge, hey its time to go, but a full on peeker who is deciding where to jump off the train. I know there is a rest stop along the way but with the pain of urgency I can't remember how far. So I start to formulate plan B. For those of you who don't know the palouse is rolling hills so I decide my only shot at not being too ashamed is look for a draw where I might not be to visible. I pick one, slide to a stop and head for the bottom. As I'm squatting in the stubble unloading I realize that the draw really isn't that deep and I might as well be in the ditch on the side of the road. Only a few cars went by and only one person honked and waved. I tore the sleeves off my T-shirt, finished my business and got out of there. Oh, and the rest stop was about 3 miles down the road:/
I'll spare you the details, but before any long distance drive or track day, I drink about half a bottle of pepto-bismol to stop things up. just a pre-emptive measure.
914Driver wrote: Daughter in law's got Crohn's Disease, not as infuriating as your JG, but given the opportunity I'd pass. You have my sympathy.
My dad has Crohn's, has had it as long as I can remember.
Ten years ago I started to show the symptoms, but I never got the diagnosis.
Bowel problems suck.
I have Crohn's.. I know where every public, semi-public, and hidden spot to drop and squat is from here to Philly.
Which onto a funny story, did you know that ticks are scary fast?
I was driving up rt206 towards Trenton. (For those that know this road, it goes through the pine barrens and very few towns towards it's southern end) and the urge to go hits hard.. so driving the work van, I pull off onto one of the numerous sandy roads the lead off into the pines, get a safe distance from the highway, get out and squat down infront of the van..
In what is probably the most vulnerable position you can be in... pants and shorts around ankles, teetering on tiptoes, I notice that the woods are alive... not only are they alive, but crawling towards me. Coming out of the dry pine needles that edged this narrow sandy road, came the ticks. They were homing in on my exhaled CO2 and they were hungry. for about 10 minutes, I led this army of blood suckers down the road. I would move about 10 or 20 feet, empty more of my bowel, and move again.. Of course my intestines were not having a quick day, so this was the stuff of frustration, cramps, and horror.
I did manage not to pick up any of the blood suckers when I was finally done, but the path between me and the van was black with wee little beasties hungry for my warm blood. It is a sight I will not soon forget.
My brother and I have a saying; "Live to E36 M3, E36 M3 to live."
You'll need to log in to post.
