Modern Moonshine Rig

Forester+STi gofast bits. remote exhaust cutout, make sure it's beige, wrap it in blue or black. Spare plates with reg matching the color of the wrap on magnets.

The FWD/AWD sedans don't have enough storage to make the risk worthwhile.

Full size SUV. Something like a Tahoe or Expedition. Most have heavily tinted rear windows from the factory. Plain on the outside, maybe with some of those annoying stick figure family stickers on the back.

Plenty of room inside, suspension easily upgradable to 3/4 or 1-ton status. Drivetrain easily upgraded as well. Blends in with traffic as another family-mobile.

I think it depends on what your goal is.

If your goal is to not get caught in the first place, any old beigemobile in perfect working condition (no burnt out lights) driven well and conservatively would work. The P71 idea has merit because it can carry a lot, you can put a lot of radios in it to monitor local activity, and some cops won't give it a second thought. OTOH, you may gain unwanted attention from one just being friendly.

If your goal is to outrun them once you're caught, that's where it gets interesting. With modern radios, helicopters, and everything it's darn near impossible to escape once the pursuit gets underway. You'll definitely want run-flat tires for the spike strips. Beyond that, it depends on your escape route. Interstates? Something that's really fast in a straight line (big powerful American muscle, maybe). Twisty dirt roads? Rally car. Congested urban environment? Minis, just like in the Italian Job.

Basically, there is no one answer. You want the right tool for the right job.

Use what the OPP use up here.

RWD Tahoe with the Police Package.

Buy it at the auction at the Mason's Lodge . . . . .

NGTD wrote: Buy it at the auction at the Mason's Lodge . . . . .

I see what you did there. Great song....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk

JoeyM wrote:

NGTD wrote: Buy it at the auction at the Mason's Lodge . . . . .

I see what you did there. Great song.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk

Glad somebody got it!

JoeyM wrote:

MadScientistMatt wrote: While I'm not entirely sure what modern moonshiners really use (if you think the firewater is gone, you may not get invited to the right parties),

That certainly looks up to the task. Putting the moonshine in paint cans and some ladders on the roof could add some extra stealth.

Just use an effin helicopter......problem solved.

yamaha wrote: Just use an effin helicopter......problem solved.

While logically, that would work, it defeats the spirit of the goal. Plus how many 'shiners you know have the intelligence/cashflow to buy a helicopter?

pinchvalve wrote: We all know about the old bootlegger's cars that evolved into Nascar Stockers. But let's say that they made Alcohol illegal again and we had to transport it illegally today. What modern car with some subtle mods could haul a few gallons of hooch in a secret compartment and outrun the ATF? Remember, they are probably driving these:

FTFY. They don't need fast cars anymore. Good luck getting away from the FLIR in the chopper, though.

Ford F-250 with utility body looking like a welding rig. Tanks filled with....

mndsm wrote:

yamaha wrote: Just use an effin helicopter......problem solved.

While logically, that would work, it defeats the spirit of the goal. Plus how many 'shiners you know have the intelligence/cashflow to buy a helicopter?

Further proves they should look into other activities such as coke, weed, etc.......

Anyone ever heard about blacked out cars full of coke being driven by people wearing night vision?

yamaha wrote:

mndsm wrote:

yamaha wrote: Just use an effin helicopter......problem solved.

While logically, that would work, it defeats the spirit of the goal. Plus how many 'shiners you know have the intelligence/cashflow to buy a helicopter?

Further proves they should look into other activities such as coke, weed, etc....... Anyone ever heard about blacked out cars full of coke being driven by people wearing night vision?

The red lights must be a bitch.

MadScientistMatt wrote:

JoeyM wrote:

MadScientistMatt wrote: While I'm not entirely sure what modern moonshiners really use (if you think the firewater is gone, you may not get invited to the right parties),

That certainly looks up to the task. Putting the moonshine in paint cans and some ladders on the roof could add some extra stealth.

The problem with something like that is painters generally don't make repeated trips out into the middle of the woods.

The Feds aren't just picking out cars at random to check, they're look for cars doing unusual trip patterns.

In reply to Ian F:

But, Sir, I was painting the forest.

In reply to N Sperlo:

I'd just get an old Cherokee and paint it up as some kind of forestry company. There's the excuse to be making regular trips into the woods.

If for some reason I do get chased, I'll simply depart from the road and drive down a creekbed or something. Let's see them follow me in a Charger...

Plus lots of cargo space :)

--

Alternately, find an old RHD Cherokee and put "rural mail delivery - frequent stops" on the back. Carry a bunch of bins of mail on top of the moonshine boxes. It's a perfect excuse for why you're driving the same way every day.

irish44j wrote: -- Alternately, find an old RHD Cherokee and put "rural mail delivery - frequent stops" on the back. Carry a bunch of bins of mail on top of the moonshine boxes. It's a perfect excuse for why you're driving the same way every day.

Damn. I was going to say FedEx or UPS truck. But yeah, look as much like another blue collar worker as possible and look completely bored with your job.

That or 600 hp STI/Evo, but the ones I've known always seem to blow up. Don't want to shoot a headgasket through the hoodscoop in the middle of a pursuit.

Here's a wrench: what if its was old school? No radios, no choppers with FLIR? What would you choose now?

P71 with a GT500 engine and other go fast bits.

I would still say swapped Forester. All the go fast bits, plus killer cargo space.

No radios or choppers?

Probably go with a Grand Cherokee SRT8 or an SVT lightning. Fast enough to get away, but way more hauling capacity than a P71 or GT500...

or if you need older....how bout a GMC Syclone or Typhoon..

Appleseed wrote: Here's a wrench: what if its was old school? No radios, no choppers with FLIR? What would you choose now?

Same thing, GC with latest STi powertrain, base model body kit options, and variable exhaust for extra confusion factor.

Lack of radios and choppers doesn't change much. You still want a car that doesn't stand out too much and you'll still have just as much trouble if a cop figures out what you're doing and gives chase, you'll just have some more time before more cops swarm in and you won't have to escape the chopper somehow.